The Eggshell War
Chapter 1
An Unfortunate Beginning
I
t began on a Tuesday 10.05 in the morning to be precise. The exact time is known because Mrs. Overboylanbern had just gently dropped the Queen’s breakfast egg into a pan of boiling water. Queen Rawtensmellunterernos liked her egg boiled for precisely three minutes, not a second more, not a second less. The cook glanced at the kitchen clock, which was the most accurate clock in the kingdom and always correct.
King Shilee Retyrink was in the garden practising his archery. This was his favourite sport. He had eaten his breakfast at the more normal time of 8 o’clock. The couple of hours between his rising and his wife’s were the only peaceful ones of the day.
Eet Humplepie, the king’s footman, was stood in his usual place, just behind the target. King Shilee had only one more arrow to fire. It was Eet’s job to collect up the arrows when the king had finished.
You might think that standing behind the target was rather a silly thing to do and so it would have been with a normal bowman. However, it was the second safest place to be when King Shilee was shooting. In front of the target was safer still, but Eet was far too polite to even seem to suggest that the king was not a good archer.
The garden sparrows, blackbirds and starlings had long since learnt that the best place to be was sat on top of the target. The cheeky robin usually perched himself on the king's crown. Shilee always had an audience of birds waiting until he had finished so that they could fly around the garden in safety once again.
This Tuesday was different. This Tuesday was about to become a National Disaster. Shilee notched his last arrow, pulled back the string, took careful aim, saw it happen and gasped in horror.
"Oh, I say, look at that!"
He closed his eyes and let go. The arrow sped fast and almost true, right over the top of the target between a sparrow and a blackbird. It gave Eet’s hair the neatest centre parting that you have ever seen. The birds did not wait to see what had happened, they flew.
"Thank-you, sire," said the footman politely. "I have always wanted....Oh dear." He too had seen it.
King Shilee opened his eyes and looked again. Then he closed them again. "Tell me it is not true." He commanded.
Eet bowed and said. "It is not true sire."
"Thank heavens," said the King and looked again. "Aaaah, it is true."
"I am afraid so, your Majesty," agreed Eet sadly.
"The Queen is going to be absolutely fuming. Oh dear! Oh dear! What am I going to say to her?" The king was in a bit of a panic.
Eet did not answer, it was not his place to give the king advice. Personally, he would have gone and hidden, rather than face the Queen’s bad temper.
Meanwhile, Queen Rawtensmellunterernos, or Queen Rawty, as she was known, but only behind her back, was lying in bed awaiting her breakfast. The curtains were still closed. She considered that the early morning sun was bad for her delicate skin. Her maid, Blonden Busty would open the curtains when she brought the Queen’s breakfast.
At 10.09 precisely, Blonden knocked the door, opened it, came into the room, placed the tray on the bedside cabinet, went to the windows and drew back the curtains. The Queen liked to enjoy her favourite view with her breakfast. Blonden did not look out of the window, she was too nervous.
Queen Rawty did not look out of the window either, not straight away. She was busy examining her egg, to see if any little bits of eggshell had fallen into the yolk. This was something that had happened with her last six breakfast eggs.
The Court Magician, Sir Lite Ovand, had been ordered to find a spell that would neatly and cleanly remove the top of the egg. He had tried every morning since, without success.
This morning, as usual, there was a piece of eggshell floating in the yolk. That was the reason for Blonden’s nervousness. She was the one who suffered most from the Queen’s royal rage.
Queen Rawty took a deep breath ready to bawl and scream her anger. As she did her gaze rested on the view through the window. Her eyes widened with horror, her face went as white as the sheets on her bed and she fainted.
Blonden stood and stared at her mistress. She had expected a right royal row over the egg, but not a faint. Everyone knows it is impossible to faint when you are already lying down. She turned to the Queens dressing table to get the Queen’s smelling salts. She too looked out of the window, gasped, threw her hands in the air and fled screaming. She completely forgot about the Queen who lay groaning in her bed.
Mrs. Overboylanbern was tidying up in the kitchen and waiting for the Queen to send for her to complain, when Blonden burst in, weeping and wailing. At first the cook thought that the maid was even more upset than usual by the Queen, but the girl only shook her head and moaned,
" Outside, outside!"
The stout cook sternly sat the wildly sobbing maid on a stool and marched outside carrying her largest rolling pin. Nobody was going to upset her staff like that, except perhaps herself.As soon as she was outside the kitchen door, she too stopped in horror. She dropped her rolling pin, flung her apron over her face to hide the horrible sight and fled.
This was not a sensible thing to do as she could not see where she was going. As you would expect she ran straight into someone. Actually, it was more than one, it was three to be exact. The three persons so rudely barged into were, the Prime Minister, the Right Honourable Stabemin De Bak, the Lord Chancellor, Lord Taxem Allard and the Home Secretary, the Right Honourable Floggem Anangem. They were hurrying to the Palace to inform the king of the disaster that had overtaken the kingdom.
The three distinguished gentlemen and the cook finished up in an untidy pile at the front door of the Palace. The National Disaster though, was far too important to spend any time lying on the floor arguing about who was to blame Top hats were picked up, knees dusted and ties straightened. Mrs. Overboylanbern did not put on her top hat, or straighten her tie, she did not normally wear them. She certainly did not dust her knees as that would have been most unladylike. No disaster was bad enough to make her forget that she was a lady. She just sat on the steps and wept into her apron.
The three Cabinet Ministers entered the Palace and walked along the corridors to the Throne Room. In spite of the seriousness of the situation, they were far too dignified to run. King Shilee was already there, slumped on the throne, head in hands. Eet stood behind the throne staring at the floor. Just looking at him you could see that he was wishing he was somewhere else.
The Prime Minister, as befitted his rank, entered the room first. He bowed low and spoke in a grave voice. "Sire, A National Disaster has occurred."
The unhappy king groaned and shrank further into the cushions of the throne.
The Prime Minister went on." I have not yet discovered which of my Cabinet is responsible for this foul deed, but when I do you may rest assured that he will be sacked immediately."
The King groaned.
The Chancellor, not to be outdone by the P.M., stepped forward. "It is going to cost a great deal of money to put it right. I suggest a tax on finger nails to raise the necessary finance."
The king groaned.
The Home Secretary spoke up. "It is the Minister for Tourism’s job to look after things like that. Unfortunately, he is on holiday in Spain at present. I will have him arrested on his return."
The P.M. spoke again. "We will have to do something. The people are already beginning to blame you, sire."
This was not strictly true. The people never blamed the king when anything went wrong. They usually blamed either the Prime Minister of the Queen.
"Has Your Majesty any suggestions?" asked the P.M.
King Shilee did not know what to say and even less what to do. If he had, he would have been far too nervous to say or do it. He relied on the Queen, but she had not arrived yet.
Just as the silence grew embarrassingly long, the door opened and in rushed the heir to the throne, Prince Charmless. "I say, Pops, some rotter’s gone and knocked the top off the jolly old mountain what! A bit off, ain’t it? Oh I made a funny, haw, haw."
He collapsed on a chair and giggled at his own rather feeble humour. It was certainly no joke, for what he said was true. Somebody or something had taken the top off the Mountain as cleanly as you or I might take the top off a boiled egg.
Chapter 2
A Messy Continuation
T
o understand why this should be classed as A National Disaster, you need to understand something about the Kingdom of Dulanstufy. It only had one mountain. The rest of the country was as flat as a table top. The Mountain had no name as it was the only one. It stuck up right in the centre o f the kingdom. There were no other mountains within hundreds of miles of it, which made it rather special.
The Dulanstuffians were tremendously proud of it. They hunted, walked, rode and picnicked in the woods on its lower slopes. They skied on its slopes in winter and climbed to its very top in summer. It was the envy of all the surrounding flat countries. In shape it was rather like the kind of thing a child would draw for a mountain, steep sides and coming to a point at the top. Now, though, the top of the Mountain was gone. It no longer had a point, it was flat!
The three politicians bowed to the Prince and waited for the king to speak.
"Er!" The king began nervously.
"Sire?" The three politicians chorused.
The king shook his head and wished that the Queen would hurry up and come. His wish was almost instantly granted. The door was flung open, by two footmen and in swept the Queen. A few paces behind her crept the Chief Lady in Waiting, Lady Sitenso. Lady Sitenso was one of those nervous women who was constantly wringing her hands and worrying. The Queen never worried and only wrung necks.
"Now, Shilee, what are you doing about this dreadful thing?"
Shilee shook his head.
"I see," snorted the Queen. "Nothing, as usual. Prime Minister, have you done anything yet?"
Sir Stabemin bowed and began to speak. "I, er, we, that is.."
"Typical, absolutely nothing, as usual. Really I don’t know why I bother with any of you. Ah well, my mother, God Rest Her soul, did warn me. But I would not listen."
This was how many of Queen Rawty’s speeches began. She then went on about how she could have married any one of a dozen princes, and so on and so on, but mostly on.
King Shilee had heard the speech many times before and did what he usually did. He slid down the throne, on to his hands and knees and began to crawl across the carpet towards the door. His escape was thwarted when the door was flung open and in marched a small, red faced person who tripped over the crawling king and fell to the floor.
Queen Rawty stopped complaining and turned to face the interruption. It took a little time for the king and the dwarf to untangle themselves from the rug and each other. The Queen stood tapping her foot impatiently. The expression on her face would have turned a charging bull into a meat cube. Shilee sighed and returned to the throne.
The dwarf had looked angry when he had flung open the door, but now he was too furious to even notice the Queen’s face.
"King Shortenstowt," he announced. "King of the Dwarves under the Mountain. I came here to find out what you have done to my mountain and what do I find? You are playing silly party games." He was shouting and for a small person he had a very loud voice.
Queen Rawty did not have to shout. "Your Mountain?" The ice in her voice would have put icicles on the fireplace. "It is OUR Mountain!"
"Pish!" The Dwarf said rather rudely. "Tush! Dwarves have lived under the Mountain since..."
"Since King Erly Retyrink gave you permission," the Queen finished for him. "You are only there because WE allow it."
King Shortenstowt took a deep breath, but Queen Rawty was now in full flow and about as easy to interrupt as a waterfall. "And if, anyone has damaged Our Mountain, it is you dwarves with your digging away at it."
The Dwarf king was actually dancing with rage and spluttering so much he could not speak. Two guards were called and he was arrested. However, before he could be taken away there was another interruption. The door burst open again and in roared a huge, black bearded man. Around his waist was a wide belt. Stuck in this belt were no less than four pistols, (loaded) and two swords (sharp). In each hand he waved another pistol (loaded). He also had a dagger stuck down each boot, which cut terrible holes in his socks, much to his wife’s annoyance.
Queen Rawty was afraid of neither man nor beast. "How dare you burst in here like that?"
"Oh, that's easy. How else would you expect a robber to enter a Palace?" The man had a voice to match his appearance.
Lady Sitenso screamed, faintly. After all she did not want to draw attention to herself.
King Shilee shuddered and tried to hide in the cushions on the throne. The three Cabinet Ministers, hid behind Eet, behind the throne.
Two other men, smaller and not so heavily armed, sidled in. They stood by the door and looked sheepishly around.
The ruffian bowed and stood up again. "Nikitanrun, Robber Chief and Bandit Supreme, that’s me." He waved a hand towards his accomplices. "These are my lieutenants. Muggem and Rollem." They waved, looking rather foolish.
Queen Rawty was not impressed. "Peasants," she sneered. "We do not give audiences to the likes of you. Kindly remove yourself from our presence. This instant. And close the door behind you."
Nikit looked a little less brave now. The Queen sounded just like his wife and she scared he wits out of him. "I only came to find out who is responsible for dumping the Mountain top right across the front door to my hide out," he said.
When it had happened, Mrs. Nikit had ordered him to go to the Palace and complain. He had not wanted to, but when his wife gave orders it was best to follow them.
Queen Rawty was at her most haughty, "Another person living on OUR Mountain without our permission. Home Secretary, arrest that man."
Now the Home Secretary was very much in favour of having people thrown into prison. Indeed, he had recently given every prisoner in the kingdom a free pardon, so that he could have the pleasure of ordering them to be arrested and thrown into jail, all over again. However, he was not in favour of doing the actual arresting himself, especially when they were as big and fierce and heavily armed as Nikitanrun. Still, he too was more scared of the Queen. He stepped forward, "Ahem, you are under arrest for, er, um,er.....," but under the scornful gaze of the Queen and the scowl of the bandit, he could not think of a crime.
Queen Rawty began tapping her foot on the floor.
Desperately Mr. Anangem tried again. "I arrest you in the name of the king on a charge of er," He glanced out of the window. Rescue was at hand. Nikit and his gang had left their horses outside the Palace. "Ah! Illegal parking. I warn you that anything you say may be taken down and given in evidence."
"Hah!" Nikit was obviously not impressed.
"Hah!" The Queen was not impressed either.
The two guards, holding, the Dwarf king did not know whether to keep hold of him or to let him go and grab Nikit or what.
Prince Charmless, who was busy counting his fingers and getting a different answer each time, looked up and saw the room full of people. "Oh, I say, visitors, goody. Cream cakes."
The reason for this odd remark is quite simple, just like the Prince. Whenever the Palace had visitors, cream cakes were served with the morning coffee. Prince Charmless adored cream cakes.
Before anyone could move or speak Charmless reached for the Speaking tube on the wall behind his chair and ordered Cream cakes and coffee for sixteen. There were only fourteen in the room I know, but counting was not his strong point.
Queen Rawty began one of her tirades again. This was the one that began "Children!" and went on about how ungrateful they were and how her mother had warned her and so on.
Charmless took no notice. He lay back in the chair and thought about cream cakes.
Nikit listened to the Queen with his mouth open in awe. His wife could go on a bit, but the Queen was something special. His two henchmen tried to disappear into the wallpaper. When Mrs. Nikit went on like that it usually meant trouble for them and no doubt this would be the same.
The three Cabinet Ministers were all used to this sort of speech. They made their faces look interested while their brains emptied. They did this often in Cabinet meetings. It saved them from having to listen to a lot of boring speeches. The P.M. was so good at it, he often did not listen even when he was speaking himself.
Shortenstowt was not listening either. When the Queen had begun to speak, the two guards had stood to attention and as they were holding the dwarf’s arms this meant that he was lifted clean off the floor. Now he dangled two feet up in the air with his legs waving about.
King Shilee sighed and thought about escaping, but the room was too full. From bitter past experience he knew that once the Queen got started she could and would keep it up for a very very long time.
However, it was not to be. There was yet another interruption. This time though it was properly done. Two footmen flung open the doors, there was a fanfare of trumpets and the Royal Butler, Sup Ort appeared in the doorway. He bowed low, stood up and announced in a loud voice. "His Royal and Mighty Highness, the King of Tufanasty, His Gracious Majesty. King Proudlee Overberin." He stood aside and bowed low as a figure strode into the room.
Now as Queen Rawty was tall for a woman, King Proudlee was small for a man. What he lacked in inches he made up for in pride. He was the most pompous, boastful, bigheaded monarch in the world. Queen Rawty could not stand him. Neither could King Shilee. If the truth were told the only person who could be said to like King Proudlee was himself. He thought he was wonderful.
King Proudlee was often in a bad temper, but today he was very obviously angrier than ever before. His face was red and he was waving his arms about. The reason for this rage took some understanding. When he was angry King Proudlee spluttered. His speech sounded like and overfilled kettle spitting out water on to the fire.
This is what he said, with the spizzles and fizzles removed. "How dare you? You have deliberately spoiled my view. I have just finished building the finest Palace in the world with big windows in the throne room. Those windows gave me a perfect view of the Mountain. Now it is ruined. You have cut off the top of the Mountain because you are jealous of my Palace. I have never been so insulted in all my life. Unless you put it back, immediately I shall send my unbeatable army to invade you. Then I shall not only own the view I shall own the Mountain too."
King Proudlee pulled himself up to his full height, which was not very tall, and glared at King Shilee. That poor man burrowed even deeper into the cushions. He looked round for help from the Queen.
For perhaps the first time in her life the Queen was speechless. This unique situation did not last for long though. "YOUR view is it? How dare WE? The Mountain belongs to Dulanstufy and only those who live here are allowed to look at it. YOU will invade us? Unless you go home now and brick up your windows and promise never to look at OUR Mountain ever again, WE will invade you."
"Pah!" replied King Proudlee. "Your rotten little army would get lost on the way. Since it is obvious that have done this just to spite me. I will return to Tufanasty to prepare my army. You have ten days to put the Mountain top back where it should be."
Queen Rawty looked down on him. "WE will give you ten days in which to brick up your windows or we will invade YOU."
"Yah boo." said Prince Charmless, taking notice for the second time. "And, and." He could think of anything else to say, which is perhaps a good thing.
If Proudlee had heard this he might well have exploded with rage, but he had during Queen Rawty’s last speech pulled his crown down over his ears. It was now stuck. It was a good job that everyone in the room was too busy arguing to see Proudlee’s efforts to remove his crown. They might well have laughed at him and that would never have been forgiven.
It was no use, the crown was stuck fast. In the end his two bodyguards, Lord Tobig Forisboots and Lord Fulo De Otair had to help. One held the king round his waist and the other held the crown. Then they tugged. King Proudlee’s head came out like a cork out of a bottle. Lord Tobig fell over backwards, knocking over Rollem and Muggem. Muggem kept his head in the scramble and helped himself to Tobig’s wallet.
The King and Lord Fulo bounced across the room and straight into the Footman who had just come into the room with a tray of cream cakes as ordered by Prince Charmless. The footman went down, the tray of cakes went up. Things which go up generally have to come down again and so the cream cakes came down.
Mrs. Overboylanbern was famous throughout all the surrounding Kingdoms for the size of her cakes and the amount of cream she managed to get in them. Just because there was a National Disaster was not a good enough reason, in her opinion, to be any less generous than usual. These were cream cakes of the first order.
One landed on King Proudlee’s bald head. An awful truth had come out. King Proudlee wore a wig. It had come off with his crown. He spluttered and tried to wipe away the sticky mess with Lord Fulo’s sleeve.
Another cake landed on the back of Queen Rawty’s neck. She clapped her hand to the spot, twirled around, squashed cream cake in her hand and saw King Proudlee with a cream covered hand. Of course she jumped to the wrong conclusion.
Her aim was, for once, not very good. The cream cake that she flung at King Proudlee hit the Prime Minister in the face. He had not been paying attention. He saw the cream on Lord Fulo’s sleeve. He wiped the cake from his face and threw it at that gentleman. Before you could say Dulanstufy or Tufanasty, everybody was throwing cream cakes. Prince Charmless squealed with delight and sent for more ammunition.
Not everybody joined in. King Shilee took his chance and escaped in the confusion. Eet knew that it was not his place to throw things at such important people. He merely bowed and thanked those who hit him. He also ate those cakes as well.
Shortenstowt had taken refuge on the throne, using one of the cushions as a shield. King Proudlee, bald and crownless stood behind his bodyguards, ready to fight off any more attacks. Nikit, Rollem and Muggem had taken refuge behind an upturned table. Queen Rawty was stood in the middle of the room, looking like a half melted marble statue. She was far too proud to hide. The soldiers were huddled in a corner, trying to hide behind their helmets. Eet was in another corner feeling very sick. He had eaten an awful lot of cakes. The others were in various parts of the room, trying to find hiding places.
Prince Charmless, the only person who had really enjoyed himself, was sat on the arm of his chair, as if it was a horse. "What fun!" He shrieked. "What ..glooop!" The last cream cake hit him in the face and he fell over sideways on to the chair and lay giggling and waving his legs in the air.
Now, if you or I had been involved in such a cream cake slinging match, we would probably have stood and laughed at the end of it Queen Rawty and King Proudlee were still far too angry to see anything funny in the situation. Proudlee fished around in the cream until he found his crown. He stuck it on his head and stormed out followed by his bodyguards. They made a remarkable sight, all covered in cream. The wig was never found. It is entirely possible that Eet ate it.
While nobody was looking Shortenstowt waded through the debris and escaped. The three robbers left through the window. They did not need to, but they felt better. They were not used to entering and leaving palaces through the doors.
Queen Rawty swept out of the room, as tall and proud as ever, leaving a trail of cream along the corridor, up the stairs and into her bathroom. Lady Sitenso followed. She had avoided most of the cream cakes by the simple method of hiding underneath the Queen’s skirt. Blonden rushed after them to run the Queen’s bath.
The three Cabinet Ministers squelched their ways home, unhappily wondering what their wives were going to say and what they were going to do about the National Disaster and the probable war. What their wives said to them was long loud and certainly not to be repeated in polite company.
The poor soldiers were left behind in the throne room Eet had cleared off to be sick and Charmless had wandered away for a bath. The poor soldiers did not know what to do. They were not very good at thinking for themselves, only at following orders. Even then the orders had to be simple ones, shouted very loudly at them by their sergeant. No one had given them any orders. They began to empty the cream out of the window, using their helmets as buckets.
Soon every cat in the kingdom had invaded the Palace, licking up and fighting over the cream. Of course every dog in the kingdom then came to chase every cat in the kingdom.
It took a great deal of time and all the army to get rid of the animals and a whole mob of cleaners to get rid of the cream and mess left by the animals. The only good thing that came out of it was that the Palace never gain suffered from mice.
Chapter 3
The Days Pass
K
ing Shilee had crept out of the throne room when the battle had begun and gone to see his friend Sir Lite Ovand, the Court Magician. They remained locked away during the commotion and subsequent clean up.
"It is my fault, Sire. I am sorry to say. " Sir Lite had confessed to the King. "I was trying to take the top off the Queen’s egg. I must have got it wrong somewhere."
"You’d better find a way of putting it back before Proudlee invades or we invade him." Shilee sounded as miserable as he felt.
Sir Lite was a very poor magician. He only kept his position at Court because Shilee did not feel shy with him. They sat deep in thought until the gong went to call them for their evening meal.
Hurriedly the king went and changed. Queen Rawty hated to be kept waiting. Food was important and so there was no conversation during meals. After they had eaten, there was a concert given by the Dulanstufy National Youth Orchestra conducted by Mr. Wave De Baton with soloist Miss Tinkle De Kees. Then it was bed time.
Next morning King Shilee did his usual archery practice. He was even worse than ever.
Then he was summoned to the throne room where the Queen was busy drawing up plans for the war. With her was the P.M. and the leaders of the Army, General Mayhem and Colonel Bludngutz.
Queen Rawty was still in a bad mood. Her breakfast egg had not been opened properly and she had had to get up early. King Shilee sat on the throne after removing a stray cat, which had somehow managed to escape the cleaning. The king listened unhappily with mounting horror to the discussions.
Eventually all the plans were planned and the audience over. The military men bowed to the king and left to prepare the Army. Shilee was allowed to leave. Sir Lite was studying his books of Spells. There were lots of books most of them not opened for years. The two men were soon covered in dust and cobwebs.
The next day the Home Secretary brought news that Nikitanrun had started a crime wave, which he said would last until the Mountain top was removed from the entrance to his hideout. Really he went out robbing just to get away from his wife’s constant nagging.
Still the Magician could not find a spell.
On the third day, the Chancellor reported that someone had tunnelled into the vault of the National Bank of Dulanstufy and removed all the government’s gold. Later a message came from Shortenstowt to the effect that he would return the gold when the Mountain top was restored.
Still the Magician could not find a spell.
On the fourth day King Proudlee sent a message to remind them that he would invade in six days time, as the Mountain top was still not back in place. Queen Rawty sent a very rude reply.
Still the magician could not find a spell.
So the days passed and as they did King Shilee grew more and more desperate. Queen Rawty’s temper was not improved by still finding bits of eggshell in her breakfast egg. Sir Lite grew frantic and tried every spell he could find with some very odd results. I mean, have you ever seen blue and yellow striped horses or stood with your nose pressed against the window watching it rain, left shoes?
The only person who seemed to be unaffected by the crisis was Prince Charmless. He had fallen in love.
Browsing through a magazine, 'Eligible Brides for Eligible Princes’ he had found the princess he wished to marry. Unfortunately he had been eating a chocolate éclair at the time and had put a large chocolate stain on the name of the Princess’s parent’s and kingdom. All that he knew was her name, Princess Soweren Asty. He spent the days mooching around with her picture cut from the magazine clutched to his heart. Everyone was far too busy with preparations for the coming war to take any notice of him.
Chapter 4
An Important Visitor
O
n the ninth day there was a visitor to Dulanstufy. The visit had been arranged for a long time, but in the excitement everyone had forgotten. The visitor was The Great Panjandrum of Sortitowt. He arrived sat on a huge elephant. He wore a long flowing, brightly coloured robe and a white turban.
It was some time before a guard of honour could be collected and the proper greeting given to such an important ruler. Poor Mrs. Overboylanbern had to stop making rations for the soldiers and prepare a banquet. King Shilee and Queen Rawty greeted the Panjandrum in the throne room. Despite all the cleaning and redecorating, it still smelt vaguely of sour cream and cats. If the G.P. noticed he was far too polite to mention it.
"Welcome to Dulanstufy," smiled King Shilee. Queen Rawty, curtsied (slightly). Even though The G.P.’s country was far and away bigger and more powerful than Dulanstufy, she was far too haughty to curtsey low.
"A thousand greetings from my humble kingdom to you and yours." The G.P. bowed (slightly). "May the light of the sun shine on you and yours forever."
"May the moon always give you pleasant dreams." King Shilee knew the correct thing to say. He had looked it up in his book. ’Greeting Foreign Heads of State’.
There was a short silence, the book had not said what to say next and Shilee could not think of anything to add.
"Would you like some tea?" Queen Rawty was as you know rarely stuck for words.
"Most gracious, yes indeed," beamed the G.P. "It is thirsty work riding on the back of an elephant. But people expect it and I do so hate to disappoint."
The tea came and the three sat down to drink it.
"Shall I be mother?" Queen Rawty asked.
"Congratulations." said The G.P. misunderstanding.
"No, no, no," replied the Queen, blushing furiously. "I meant, ‘Shall I pour the tea?"
"A thousand pardons." The G.P. rose and bowed
"Milk?" The Queen asked.
"No thank-you." replied the G.P.
"Sugar?"
"Indeed, no thank-you," replied The G.P.
Queen Rawty poured The G.P. a cup of tea and gave it to him. He took it and frowned. "A thousand pardons, Oh majestic Queen. I hesitate to impose on your gracious hospitality, but in my country we take our tea with a slice of lemon."
A footman was sent for slices of lemon while the Queen apologised for the oversight, blaming it on recent unfortunate events. She did not say what they were and chattered on gaily about this and that.
Prince Charmless missed this serving of cream cakes. He had been sent away to join the army.
When tea was over, the Queen ordered Shilee to show the G.P. around the Palace and gardens. Shilee did as he was told, finally arriving at the archery target.
For the first time The G.P. showed more than polite interest. To Shilee’s horror, the G.P. suggested a match. There was no way of getting out of it. The bows were sent for. Eet brought King Shilee’s and The G.P.’s servant Grovel brought his.
The two servants bowed to the respective masters and went to take up their normal positions. Unfortunately there was not enough room behind the target for both of them. Eet bowed to Grovel. Grovel bowed to Eet. Eet waved Grovel to stand behind the target. Grovel declined and waved Eet to take his place.
This bowing and gesturing might possibly have gone on for a long time if the two monarchs had not ordered their servants to stand still. They bowed to their masters once again, bowed to each other and stood side by side behind the target. The garden bird took up their customary positions twittering to themselves. The rulers walked to the shooting mark.
If you had the impression that King Shilee was the worst archer in the world then you had better change your mind. The G.P. was worse. He was very short sighted, but refused to wear glasses. He could not see the target. Normally Grovel shouted "Fire" when the G.P. was facing the right direction. His was another reason why he was such a bad shot, but did not know it. Grovel would shout "Fire" when the G.P. was facing a safe direction and then stick an arrow in the target. He found it a lot safer that way. He picked up the arrows after and so both he and the G.P. enjoyed the archery more that way.
As both Monarchs were very polite, both decided, privately, that they would allow the other to win. After much after you and no after you, a coin was tossed. The G.P. called it correctly and invited Shilee to go first. Shilee took aim, intending his arrow to just hit the outside of the target.
As usual, he missed, but not by very much. The arrow caught a loose piece of Grovel’s turban and carried on down the garden. If Grovel had not spun round, his head may well have unscrewed itself from his neck. The spinning round left the poor man dizzy.
"A good shot," said the G.P., not having a clue where the arrow had gone, nor noticing the condition of his bare headed servant.
It was The G.P.’s turn. Grovel was so dizzy that he could not see straight and called "Fire, Oh great one," without really knowing where The G.P. was facing. The G.P. let go of the arrow. It sped straight and true right into the centre of the target. Eet was bending down trying to roll up the turban. The arrow point came through the target and nudged Eet as he bent. He gave a yelp and stood up rubbing the afflicted spot.
The garden birds fled, never to sit on the target again.
"A great shot, Sir," shouted Shilee. "A bull’s eye!"
The contest continued, but since neither ruler managed to hit the target again, the G.P. was declared the winner. This pleased all of them. Shilee because his guest had won, The G.P. because it was the first time he had managed a bull’s eye and the two servants because they had survived, mostly unhurt.
As the two smiling rulers made their way back to the Palace for dinner, a company of soldiers marched past, saluting the king smartly as they did.
"Most noble looking warriors," murmured The G.P. "You seem to be preparing for war, my friend."
We are," replied Shilee, all the pleasure of the Archery contest fading away. He explained it all to The G.P. finishing with. "I don’t want a war, but the Queen insists and you know what Proudlee’s like." He sighed
"Indeed, yes, a most difficult man." The G.P. shook his head. "It would be a shame if your two illustrious countries came to blows. Perhaps my small amount of wisdom would be able to bring about peace."
"I wish you would. But first you would have to find a way of putting the Mountain top back where it should be. King Shilee gestured in the direction of the topless peak.
"Mmmm, yes I had wondered about that." The G.P. was very polite.
King Shilee went on. "And if you can get the Queen and Proudlee to agree, Ill....I’ll eat an elephant."
"So be it!" The G.P. bowed. "Now if you would be so kind, I think a bath and a change of clothes before dinner."
King Shilee bowed back and the two men parted company.
Chapter 5
Almost War
T
he tenth day dawned. Shilee woke early, realised what day it was and tried to crawl back under the sheets. It was no use, though, there was no escape. Queen Rawty was already up and dressed and in a foul mood. Her breakfast egg was still not being opened properly. She had no intention of letting the army go off to war without her. Besides she had armour made just for such an occasion. Blonden helped the Queen put it on. Later she remarked to the cook that it made the Queen look like an outsize tin of corned beef.
King Shilee put on his armour. He felt too ill to eat any breakfast at all. Then it was time to go.
In Tufanasty, King Proudlee was already on the road with his army marching towards Dulanstufy. He liked a nice early start, then it could be all over in time for a decent lunch.
Perhaps I ought to describe the armies. Dulanstufy had one Field Marshall, two generals, three majors, four lieutenants, eight sergeants, sixteen corporals and sixty-five soldiers, plus Prince Charmless, making one hundred men in all. Tufanasty had two generals, four captains, eight lieutenants, eight ensigns, eight sergeants, eight corporals and sixty-three soldiers, making one hundred and one men.
Shilee had only a small army because he had no intention of ever fighting anybody ever. The soldiers were mainly kept for guard duty and show.
Proudlee had only a small army because no-one wanted to fight for him.
So one hundred and three Dulanstuffians marched on Tufanasty and one hundred and three Tufanastians marched on Dulanstufy. Before you get your fingers and brains tied in knots the three extra Dulanstuffians were King Shilee, Queen Rawty and Sir Lite. The two extra Tufanastians were King Proudlee and his daughter.
It might seem a strange place to find a princess, going to fight a war, but this princess was no ordinary, empty headed, pretty little, fluffy toy doll of a king’s daughter. One, she was not empty headed. Her head was probably solid bone all the way through. Two, she was not sweet. There was nothing she liked more than fighting and battles, the more blood the better. Small and pretty? Well that depends on you. If you like double decker buses, then you may have found her attractive. She was not much smaller than a ‘bus either. As for being a fluffy toy doll, then only if you have a life sized grizzly bear sharing your life could you say that. I have not mentioned her name yet either. It was Princes Soweren Asty.
Yes, I know, you have heard that name before, somewhere. You remember, that, that was the name of the Princess for whom Charmless had fallen. As you may have gathered, Charmless was not very bright.
The march of the armies did not last very long and since there was only one road between the two kingdoms, the two armies met at the border. Well, almost met that is. The road was blocked.
Stood in the middle of the road was a very large elephant. Sat on the elephant was The Great Panjandrum of Sortitowt. Now he was such a powerful ruler of a large country that he never traveled anywhere without a small part of his army, five hundred men in all. These solders were spread out on either side of the road making it impossible for either side to get at each other to begin fighting.
King Shilee was very pleased, but Queen Rawty and King Proudlee were furious. Prince Soweren was very disappointed. Prince Charmless was thankful. It was all very well getting dressed up in armour and practising using a sword on a dummy, but to go into battle where somebody was going to actually try to stick a sword in you, that was very different. Charmless had decided that he was going to hide behind his mother. Nobody would dare to attack her. Besides he did not want to fight. He wanted to find his princess.
A trumpet sounded and a herald invited the leaders of both sides to partake of morning coffee in the Great Panjandrum's Pavilion. Nobody dared refuse. Soon both royal families were drinking their coffee and munching arrowroot biscuits, though at separate tables and without speaking.
When the coffee was drunk the discussions began. The G.P. spoke first. "Correct me if I am wrong, but let me see if I understand the situation correctly. King Proudlee is upset because the top has come off the Mountain and spoiled his view."
Proudlee nodded and glared at Queen Rawty.
"King Shilee is upset because the Mountain belongs to him and he does not want anyone else to look at it."
King Shilee shook his head. He did not care who looked at the Mountain. Queen Rawty nodded and glared at King Proudlee.
"The Dwarf King, Shortenstowt, is upset because the Mountain top is the roof of his home. I also believe that a certain Robber, Nikitanrun is angry because he cannot get into his hideout."
Everyone agreed that the G.P. had summed up the situation perfectly.
"A thousand thanks for your patience in listening to me, "said the G.P. "But now, with your kind permission. I have one or two questions to ask."
They could not refuse.
"King Proudlee first then,"
Queen Rawty frowned at that, but the G.P. gave here such a charming smile that she did not argue.
"Would you take your brave and fearsome army home if the Mountain was put back?"
King Proudlee thought for a moment. "If the, huh, Dulanstufy army, hah, go home and the Mountain is repaired then I will march my unbeatable force home again."
The G.P. bowed "A most wise decision."
Queen Rawty sniffed.
The G.P. turned to King Shilee. "Would you object if a member of your family was to look at the Mountain?"
Queen Rawty looked puzzled, but shook her head. Shilee shook his. All he wanted was peace and quiet.
"So, if Proudlee was related to you, HE could look at the Mountain?"
Shilee nodded.
"But he’s not related," protested the Queen. "So I don’t see how that helps."
The G.P. smiled and pointed with his chin. In his country it was considered very rude to point with a finger and as you know the G.P. was very polite.
The monarchs turned to look. Prince Charmless and Princess Soweren had found each other. They were sat gazing into each other’s eyes. They had much in common. They both liked blood as long as it was other people's, cream cakes, banquets, but best of all, they were both as stupid as each other.
The G.P. suggested that if the young people married then Shilee would be related, by marriage. Without waiting for the Queen, Shilee agreed. Proudlee was rather pleased to see his daughter married off. She made him feel small and she cost a fortune to feed.
"But," someone pointed out. "The Mountain top is still off."
"Aaah," said the G.P. "I hope nobody minds, but my Magician, the Great Ind has been working with Sir Lite. They tell me that they should be ready to do something about the Mountain top at any time."
A servant entered the Pavilion and whispered something in the G.P.’s ear.
"Indeed, if you would care to step outside now, they appear to be ready."
They all went outside. It was a beautiful clear day and the Mountain could be seen, topless in the morning sun.
The Great Ind, dressed in fine robes, stepped forward. This was not his real name, that was Ian Ropetric and he came from Manchester. He chanted a spell full of arm waving and strange words. The air round the Mountain shimmered and slowly the top returned to its rightful place. Everyone cheered.
The marriage took place straight away, before the couple could change their minds. The ceremony was performed by the Archbishop of Tufanasty. The Right Reverend Loudly Preechin. King Proudlee gave the pair an empty castle to live in. Shilee and Queen Rawty gave them the furniture. The G.P. gave them a pair of Elephants. That caused a few problems, but the roses round the Castle were the biggest and best in the area.
King Shortenstowt returned the gold and also solved the Queen’s breakfast egg problem. He suggested that she had her egg poached. The Queen was so delighted she ordered Shilee to give the dwarves the right to live under the Mountain for ever.
Nikitanrun had made so much money from the latest crime wave that he decided to retire. Later he found this rather boring, but Shilee found the perfect job for a man of his talents. He made him the Chief of Police.
During the Wedding Banquet, The G.P. stood up and announced that King Shilee had promised to eat an elephant if peace could be made between Dulanstufy and Tufanasty.
"Now is the time for King Shilee to eat his words.”
The G.P. clapped his hands. The door to the Banqueting Hall opened and in staggered four huge serving men, carrying the largest silver tray anyone had ever seen. King Shilee went white. He did not think he could manage to eat a whole elephant.
The tray was placed on the table and the cover removed. In the centre was a perfect miniature elephant made from icing sugar.
Shilee gave a sigh of relief and began to laugh.
Mrs. Mophair
Chapter 1
The Farm
T
he farm was nothing special. It was just like any other farm in the valley. Mr. Newman, the owner, grew wheat and barley. He sold the wheat to the miller by the river and the barley to the brewer in the big town nearby. Mrs. Newman kept hens and ducks and geese and raised vegetables in the farm garden. She took the eggs and vegetables to the local market once a week to sell. Once a month some of the hens and ducks were sold at a bigger market and once a year the geese were driven to the Goose Fair. This was held just outside the City walls. It was a very exciting Market to visit. You could buy almost anything there, from a packet of pins to a special dress for a special occasion, if you had the money.
The farm had the usual buildings that you find on any farm. There were barns, sheds and a dairy. Mr. Newman did not have cows. He did not like cows. His wife said that it was because he had been trodden on one when he was young. When he had inherited the farm from his father he had sold the dairy herd and shut up the dairy. Now it was used as a junk room for all those bits and pieces of stuff which may have no use now, but which may come in handy one day.
There were two children in the family. George, who was the son and heir helped his father with the ploughing and general farm work. The daughter was called Lottie. Like many other farmers’ children she was expected to do her fair share of work. Her first job was to help collect the eggs and feed the hens, ducks and geese. She liked doing that. Her other job was to scare the birds from the fields and garden. She had a rattle that made a very loud noise as she ran up and down the fields and garden. She did not like doing that. It was no problem scaring the small birds, but the ones that did the most damage scared her, rather than the other way round.
These were rooks, big black birds which arrived in flocks as soon as Mr. Newman had sown the seed. He said that he sowed one lot of seeds for himself, one lot for the mice and one lot for the birds.
There is something you need to know about this particular set of rooks. They came from a rookery in the trees which surrounded the cottage of the Witch of the Dark Forest. She did not own the rooks any more than they owned her, but she liked to have them living round about her home. There were always rooks in her trees and they kept a sharp watch out for anyone or anything visiting the area. As soon as they spotted an intruder they would begin to call loudly. This meant that no-one and nothing could sneak up on the witch, if she was at home. The noise the birds made gave her time to look in her dark glass to see who or what her visitor was. Then she could decide whether she was going to be at home or out, be nice or nasty, depending on the visitor.
The rooks were not magic in any way, but living near the Witch had made them bigger and braver than any others and they just flapped out of Lottie’s way when she tried to chase them out of her father’s fields. She used to get very hot and cross about it and complained to her mother about having to do this chore.
One day Lottie’s father opened the door to the Dairy and spent a good half hour rummaging amongst the stuff in there. A piece had broken on the plough and he just knew there was one in there somewhere. Eventually he found something that would do and he emerged, hot and dusty and a bit cross. He left the door open. Lottie came in to the farmyard after a particularly frustrating bird scaring session. She saw the open door and went inside. Along the wall was a set of shelves and on the shelves were lots of milk churns. When old Mr. Newman had the cows he had all sorts of sizes of tins in which the milk was stored, delivered or made into butter. They ranged in size from ones that were nearly as big as Lottie herself down to tiny ones that held just enough for one person for a day. When the cows went these smaller churns were put on the shelves and left to gather dust.
Wandering up and down and looking at these churns and muttering about the rooks, Lottie noticed that one of the churns just looked as if it had a face on it, two eyes, a nose and a fierce looking mouth. It gave Lottie an idea. She gathered up as many of the churns as she could reach and took them off into a quiet part of the yard. She found a broom handle. She fastened the churn with the face to the top of the stick. It really did look like a head, if you looked at it in just the right way. To make it look even more like a face, Lottie got a burnt stick from the fireplace and made the face look even fiercer. With the other churns Lottie made a body, arms and legs. When it was finished she stood and surveyed her handiwork. There was something missing.
She wandered round the farmyard deep in thought. On a bench near the back door, her father had put his thick gloves. Lottie picked them up. "Hands!" she thought. Indeed, when she stuffed them with straw and tied them on to the end of the arms, they did look a bit like hands.
The figure still did not look quite finished. Lottie scratched her head and went off on another hunt. In one of the work sheds she found a pair of boots. They used to belong to her grandfather, but they were too small for her Dad and too big for George. No-one had ever thrown them away, they were almost new and you never know when they might come in useful. Lottie took them over to her figure and fastened them on the ends of the legs. It looked better, but was still not quite finished.
Something else was needed. Again Lottie went on the search. On the washing line she found the very thing to complete her handiwork. She reached up and took down the dress that her mother had washed that morning. It was Lottie’s party dress, made out of glittery material. Lottie used to like it, but now she thought she was too old to wear it and wanted a new party dress. Her mother had disagreed and said that it would do for another year, if she let it out a bit. Lottie took the dress and put it on the figure. Still the figure did not look finished.
Lottie hoped that her mother would think that the wind had blown the dress away, then she would get a new one at the Goose Fair. After the Goose Fair there was always a big party for all the children in the Valley. Lottie liked that part of Goose Fair day very much indeed.
Lottie went wandering round the yard again. Near where she had found the stick there was an old mop head. It just looked like rather tangled and dirty hair. Lottie put it on top of the churn with the face. That finished it off perfectly.
The bird-scarer was quite heavy and Lottie struggled to carry it out to the fields, but she was a determined child and managed it, though she was very hot and bothered by the time she had got it set up in the middle of the field. It looked very good, but it was too quiet. Lottie said some naughty words and went back to the Dairy. She took a handful of nuts, washers and bolts from the tin by the door. She put them inside the figure's head. Now as the wind blew and the figure moved, the dress billowed and the head rattled loudly. Lottie felt very pleased with her efforts, so far. Now all that had to happen was that the figure should frighten the rooks.
Lottie stood at the edge of the field and waited to see what would happen. The rooks arrived, they landed in the field and began to feed, making an awful racket as they did. The wind blew, the dress flapped and glittered, the metal rattled and the birds took off in fright. Lottie felt very pleased with herself. "Well done Mrs. Mophair," she said, to no-one in particular and went off to feed the hens.
Chapter 2
Mischief
N
ow this bird-scarer might well have continued scaring the birds until Mrs. Newman discovered the use to which the party dress had been put, but for reasons known only to herself the Witch just happened to be flying over on her broomstick when the rooks flew up from the field. She heard the cawing and alarm calls and came to investigate. She landed in the field next to Mrs. Mophair. She examined the figure and a sly smile came over her face. Out of spite or mischief, she whispered a few words and waved her arms and jumped back on her broomstick as the figure came to life.
"Serve you right for scaring my rooks," she shouted in the general direction of the farm and flew away cackling loudly, followed by a flock of rooks.
Mrs. Mophair found herself stood in the middle of a field. She had no idea how she got there or where she had been before. All she knew was that she was supposed to be scaring birds. She looked around and the only birds she could see were flying away. Mrs. Mophair set of after them. She was going to scare those birds good and proper, even if it meant chasing them for a long way.
She really had scared those birds. Mr. Newman could not work it out, but no rook ever came to eat the seed that he sowed in that field.
The flock of birds flew away over the top of the trees and away into the Dark Forest. Mrs. Mophair gathered up her skirt and followed as fast as she could. For a metal woman with stumpy legs she could move very quickly. Soon she was deep in the trees. She could no longer see the birds, but she could still hear them. One advantage she had over you or I was that did not get out of breath from running.
Soon she came to a clearing in the Forest. In the middle of the clearing was a cottage. More importantly, for her, the trees around the cottage were full of rooks. Mrs. Mophair rubbed her leathery hands together and began dancing round the cottage, flapping her glittery dress and shaking her head until the nuts, washers and bolts clanged together as loudly as they possibly could. The rooks went wild and flew here and there, screaming in sheer terror. Mrs. Mophair was having a wonderful time.
The Witch had been on an errand elsewhere, turning a rather nice young man into a robin, but that is another story. She came back to find her rooks in complete panic and a rattling, flapping metallic figure dancing round her cottage. She was not amused. She made an odd gesture with her hand. Mrs. Mophair found herself unable to move. The Witch landed and climbed off her broomstick. She stood and looked at Mrs. Mophair. Now you or I or indeed, anyone else would have been terrified. Mrs. Mophair was not scared. She was built to scare things. She did not know how to be scared.
"Hmmmmm!" The Witch walked around Mrs. Mophair, who still could not move. "That rather backfired on me, didn’t it?" Mrs. Mophair did not answer, one because she could not move her lips and two because she did not know what the witch was talking about..
The Witch gave a nasty laugh. "You can run through the Forest scaring the birds as much as you like, but this spell only lasts a short time. It will go when the last rays of the setting sun disappear. Then you will fall in a heap and rust away unseen." The Witch started to cast a spell to let Mrs. Mophair move. She stopped and said. "But to make it more interesting." She bent and whispered in Mrs. Mophair’s ear, or actually about where there would have been an ear if Lottie had made one. "There is more to life than scaring birds. So go and find what it is!" "Now I have a Christening to spoil so be gone with you."
Chapter 3
Searching
M
rs Mophair found herself on a path in the Forest with no witch, cottage or rooks in sight. "I wonder what she meant by that," she thought. She shook her head and rattled. A couple of birds flew off into the trees. Mrs. Mophair found that she felt rather sorry that she had scared them.
Now it may not seem a cruel thing for the Witch to have done, but it was. Poor Mrs. Mophair had been happy just scaring birds, but now she felt empty. She would have cried, but painted eyes cannot shed tears. She began walking down the path, not really having much idea where she was going to go, but she had to find out what more there was to living before she fell in a heap and turned to rust.
Very soon the trees thinned and she came to the edge of the Forest. Next to the path was a neat little garden round a pretty thatched cottage. Mrs. Mophair looked over the fence. In the garden she saw a small boy of about ten, sat looking very sadly at a small wheelbarrow
"Hello" called Mrs. Mophair.
"Hello!" replied the boy without looking up.
"Is there something wrong?" Mrs. Mophair asked.
The boy looked up and jumped to his feet.
"Don’t be afraid," said Mrs. Mophair. "I only scare birds."
"I am not scared," said the boy.
"Good, I am supposed to scare birds not people." Mrs. Mophair said. "But I don’t feel very happy about scaring birds either at the moment. My name is Mrs. Mophair. What’s yours?"
"Dan"
Mrs. Mophair could see that he was not really paying much attention to her. "Is there something wrong?!" she asked.
Dan nodded. "I was helping my Dad in the garden and the wheel came off my barrow and I fell over. Now I cannot help any more."
That’s too bad. I wish I could help," said Mrs. Mophair.
Dan stood up and came to the garden fence. For the first time he looked properly at the person to whom he was speaking. "Oh! You are made of milk churns. How odd."
"Milk churns?" Mrs. Mophair was puzzled.
"Yes," Dan said. "Look I have one here. My Mother gets one full of milk for me to drink, every day."
He went over to a bench near the house and brought a tin over. It was exactly like the ones of which Mrs. Mophair was made, only smaller and cleaner. It had a little white liquid left in the bottom.
Mrs. Mophair was fascinated. "Do you think I could have some of that?"
Dan shrugged his shoulders and carried the little churn over to Mrs. Mophair. He tried to pour a drop into her painted mouth, but it just ran down her chin. He frowned.
Mrs. Mophair felt very sad. "Oh dear and I did so want to try the milk," she said. She shook her head, making it rattle. Her mop hair fell off.
Dan picked it up and handed it back to her. Mrs. Mophair started to place it on her head, then stopped and felt the top of her head with a leathery hand. The top of her head was a lid. It opened.
Dan watched fascinated. "I could try pouring it in there," he said. "Kneel down".
Mrs. Mophair knelt in the dust until her head was just level with Dan’s chest. He started to pour, but stopped.
"What’s the matter?" Mrs. Mophair asked.
"There is something in there already." Dan pointed out.
"That’s my rattlers," said Mrs. Mophair. "They are what scare the birds."
"I thought you did not want to scare the birds any more," said Dan. "Shall I take them out?"
"Yes, please," answered Mrs. Mophair.
Dan reached in and took out a handful of nuts, washers and bolts. He looked at them. "Wow, these are just what I need to mend my barrow."
"Please, take them," said Mrs. Mophair. "I don’t need them any more."
Dan carefully poured the drops of milk into Mrs. Mophair’s head and closed the lid. He put the mop hair back on and stood back. Mrs. Mophair stood up. She shook her head. She did not rattle any more. Instead she swished a little, but she felt very, very different. She did not feel quite as empty as she had before. Now she knew exactly what she needed. She needed to be filled.
"Oh, thank you, thank you," she cried to Dan.
"No, thank you" said Dan. "Now I can mend my barrow and help my Dad in the garden." He turned to go back to his barrow.
"Wait, please." said Mrs. Mophair. “Your milk, where does your mother get it from?"
"A man comes past every day on a cart. He brings it." Dan told her. "But I don’t know where he gets it from."
Mrs. Mophair knew that she could not wait for the man to come back. "Which way does he come?"
Dan pointed down the road. "That way."
"Then that is the way I must go," said Mrs. Mophair. "Thank-you so much for your help. "
"A pleasure," replied Dan politely. Then he looked at her face. "You know you don’t look as fierce as you did before."
Mrs. Mophair would have blushed, but painted faces cannot change colour.
She waved goodbye and set off down the road. Dan watched her till she was out of sight.
Chapter 4
Good deeds
M
rs. Mophair walked for what seemed like miles until she came to another cottage. Unlike Dan’s cottage the garden round this one was chest high in weeds. Mrs. Mophair could hear a man’s voice.
"Dratted nettles," it said. "Rotten brambles!"
"Hello" Mrs. Mophair called. She stepped back as a man popped up from amongst the weeds.
"Ooops, sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you." The man smiled at Mrs. Mophair. He did not seem to notice that he was talking to a bird- scarer. "These nettles are a pain." He held up his hands to show Mrs. Mophair the nettle stings.
"The brambles are worse." His hands had lots of scratches too.
"You need some gloves," said Mrs. Mophair.
“True!" laughed the man. "But until the Goose Fair next week there is nowhere I can get any from and my wife wants the garden cleaned up as soon as possible so we can get some vegetables growing."
Mrs. Mophair looked at her hands. "You can have my gloves," she said. "I don’t really need them. They were only for waving about to frighten the birds and I don’t want to do that any more.
"Well, that is very kind, but are you sure you can spare them?"
Mrs. Mophair nodded. The man came out of the garden and carefully undid the string that held the gloves to Mrs. Mophair’s arms. He removed the straw stuffing and tried them on. They fitted perfectly.
"Now, what can I do for you in return? He smiled at Mrs. Mophair.
"Please! Do you know where the milkman gets his milk from?" She asked.
"Oh, dear. I am not really sure. We have only been here a few days and I have not had time to find out these things yet. There must be a Dairy somewhere around." The man shook his head.
"A Dairy?" Mrs. Mophair was puzzled. "What’s a Dairy?"
"That is a place where cows are milked and the milk put into churns." he replied and just in case he pointed to the field opposite the house. "And that is a cow."
Mrs. Mophair tuned to stare at the animal in the field. She nodded.
"The milkman comes from that direction," went on the man, pointing down the road. "I am sure if you keep going that way you will find one soon."
Mrs. Mophair nodded and walked on down the road. The man went back to his weeding wearing the thick gloves.
Mrs. Mophair walked until she came upon a young man sat by the side of the road. He was wearing only one shoe and holding the other up to the light. He was muttering to himself.
"Hello!" said Mrs. Mophair.
The young man jumped to his feet. "Hello!" he replied. He did not seem to notice that he was talking to a bird-scarer.
"Is there something wrong?” asked Mrs. Mophair,
"I’ll say," replied the man. "I have got to get back home before nightfall to give the Landlord his rent or we will be thrown out of our cottage." He patted his pocket. "I have the money here, but the sole has come off my shoe and I have a blister coming on my foot. I will never be able to get home in time." He held up his shoe for Mrs. Mophair to see. She could see the sky through it.
"You need a new pair of shoes, " she said.
"Sure do, but where do I get shoes from round here?" He smiled ruefully.
"You can have mine, I don't really need them. I only needed them to run about the field scaring the birds and I don’t want to do that any more. I can walk without getting blisters." Mrs. Mophair said. She sat down on a grass bank. The young man removed her shoes and tried them on. They fitted perfectly.
"Thank you, thank you," he said. "But what can I do for you in return?"
"I am looking for the Dairy," Mrs. Mophair told him. "Do you know where it is?"
"Not exactly," replied the young man. "But there are farms down the road there and I saw lots of cows in the fields. One of those farms is sure to have a Dairy.
"Thank-you, "said Mrs. Mophair.
"Thank-you" replied the young man, "Now I really must go or I will be too late.
They both set off in opposite directions. The sun was beginning to get low in the sky. The next person Mrs. Mophair met was a young girl. She was stood next to a garden gate in the wall of a cottage. She was busy kicking the gate. As Mrs. Mophair came nearer she could hear the child saying. "It’s not fair, it’s not fair" Each time she spoke she gave the gate another kick.
Mrs. Mophair said. "Is there something wrong?"
The girl turned round and sniffed. Mrs. Mophair could see that she had been crying. "It’s not fair," she said She did not seem to notice he was talking to a bird-scarer.
"What’s not fair?" Mrs. Mophair asked gently.
"The Goose Fair party is next week and I have no party dress to go in. Mum says we cannot afford new dresses this year. And my old one is so............" The girl sobbed. She sniffed again and wiped her eyes on the back of her hand. "My old one is too small. Mum says she can let it out, but it still looks old." She stopped and looked at Mrs. Mophair. "I wish I had a nice glittery dress like yours to go in."
"You can have this one," said Mrs. Mophair "I only needed it to flap about to scare the birds and I don’t want to do that any more. I am sure your mother could wash it and mend it and make it fit. Help me take it off."
The girl did as she was told and twirled about holding the dress against her. She stopped and remembered her manners. "Thank you, oh thank you, but what can I do for you in return?"
"I am looking for the Dairy. Do you know where it is?"
"Oh, yes certainly," replied the girl. "I have been with my mother for milk. You go on down the road until you come to a Farm. Go through the gate and the Dairy is easy to see. It has the word Dairy written on the door."
"Which farm?" asked Mrs. Mophair.
The girls shook her head. "I cannot remember which one exactly, I have only been the once. But you can read what it says on the door, can’t you?"
Mrs. Mophair shook her head. "I never leant to read."
"Oh," said the girl. "Then I will have to teach you." She got a stick from the hedgerow and wrote D A I R Y in the dust of the road side. The letters were a bit shaky, but clear enough. "That says ‘Dairy’. Find that on the door and you are there."
"Thank-you," said Mrs. Mophair staring hard at the letters. "I think I can remember that." She looked up at the sun. "But I really must hurry. I have to find it before the sun goes down."
She set off down the road once again leaving the girl clutching the glittery party dress and waving.
Mrs. Mophair was beginning to felt weaker now and her pace slowed. She could feel that she did not have much time left. The next person she met was a young servant girl. She was stood just inside a garden gate looking sadly at two pieces of broom handle, one in each hand. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear," she was saying.
"Hello!" said Mrs. Mophair. "Is there something the matter?"
"My brush handle has snapped and I have to finish sweeping the path or my mistress will be angry." She did not seem to notice she was talking to a bird-scarer "She said that if I did anything else wrong she would send me back home. And my mother really needs the wages I earn." She looked very close to tears.
"I am tied to a broom handle," said Mrs. Mophair. "You may have it if it is any use to you."
The servant girl came and carefully undid the string that held the milk churns to the broom handle. Strangely, though she felt a bit wobbly, Mrs. Mophair did not fall to pieces. The girl fastened the handle to her brush head and tried it out on the path. It worked beautifully.
"Oh thank you," she cried. "But what can I do for you in return?"
Mrs. Mophair explained about looking for the Dairy once again. "Do you know where it is?" She was getting very weak now.
"Why, yes," replied the girl. "The next farm along has a red gate. Push it open and the Dairy is straight in front of you. But watch out for the dog."
"Is he fierce?" Mrs. Mophair did not think she was strong enough to deal with a fierce dog."
"Heavens no," laughed the girl. He just wants you to throw something for him to play with. Now I really must finish sweeping before my mistress comes home. Thank so much for the handle."
Mrs. Mophair walked slowly along the lane. The sun now was just sitting on the horizon. She felt very weak now. She reached the red gate and pushed it open. A big black dog came rushing over and danced around her panting and making little yipping noises. Mrs. Mophair had no hands, how could he throw anything for it. Every time she moved it stood in front of her and barred her way. She shook her head and stamped her leg. The movement dislodged the mop hair and flew away across the yard. The dog turned and gave chase. It picked it up and rushed off to its kennel, growling and tossing the mop head from side to side. Mrs. Mophair was free to walk on. She crossed the yard. There, as promised, straight in front of her was a farm building. At the end nearest to her was a closed door. On the door she could just make out the word ‘Dairy’ as the last rays of the sun turned the clouds red, yellow and orange. She reached the door step as the sun finally disappeared below the horizon.
Chapter 5
Fullness
N
ext morning, as the sun rose over the trees the farmer's wife and the Dairy maid came from the Farmhouse to begin the work of the day. The Farm hand had already brought the cows in from the field. The animals were milling around in the yard waiting to be let in to the milking parlour. The farmer's wife went to open the Dairy door.
"Oooh look at this," she said to the Dairy Maid. "Someone has dropped a pile of milk churns on the step." She bent down to look at them "And rather nice ones too, if a bit dirty. We can use them. Fetch them in my girl."
The Dairy Maid picked up the churns and carried them into the Dairy.
"Right, " said the farmer’s wife. "I’ll get on with the milking, you give them a good cleaning. We can use them. Always need plenty of churns."
Soon with hot water, scouring pad and silver sand, all the churns where bright and shiny and clean. Well, not all of them. Two from the bottom of the pile had holes in them. "Looks like someone has been dragging them along the ground," thought the Dairy maid. She showed them to her mistress.
"They are no good," she said. "Throw them away."
The Dairy maid turned to go, but the farmer’s wife said. "No, hang on. Hang one up in the eaves by the door and the other by the farmhouse. They’ll make nice nesting boxes for the robins."
The girl did as she was told. She went back to the Dairy. The biggest of the new churns was now filled with creamy, foaming fresh milk. "Take that into the house for the men's breakfast," ordered the farmer’s wife.
The Dairy maid bent to pick up the churn. "You know," she said to her mistress." If you look at this churn from here it just looks as if there is a smiling face on it."
"Get away with your fancies!" said the farmer’s wife. "Daft girl."
The Dairy maid took the churn into the house and placed it in the centre of the big table ready for breakfast after the milking was done. She looked at it once again and shook her head. No matter what her mistress said, it did look as if there was a face on the churn, two eyes, a nose and a great big smile.
The Sandy Castle
I
t was a beautiful, sunny Thursday afternoon. Mathilda and her elder brother Jack were playing in the sand pit. They had built a castle using the buckets and spades that they had been given when they went on holiday to the seaside. The castle had walls and towers made from sand and bits and pieces collected from around the garden.
Now, before I begin the story I had better introduce the children. Mathilda was a pretty, neat looking child with lovely smile, when she chose to use it. She was always tidy. It did not matter that she had spent the day playing in the soil in the garden, a quick shake of her head and her hair looked as if she had just spent hours brushing and combing it. With a few smoothing strokes she could make her clothes look as if she had just stepped out to go to a party. Now Jack, whose real name was John, Albert, Colin, Keith, but always known by everyone as Jack, was not like that at all. He could get dirty and scruffy standing in the bath! He was about a year or so older than his sister and like good elder brothers everywhere he looked after Mathilda. She did not really need looking after, but she did not tell him that, as she did not want to upset him and that way they were both happy.
Now let us return to the story. The castle almost filled the sand pit, except for a dry moat running all the way round. Mathilda had carefully placed a piece of wood across as a bridge for the knights to ride their horses across. Inside the Castle they had placed all their toy knights and their trusty steeds. The knights were led by Sir Yellow. He was the bravest and strongest of all the knights. Around the outside of the Castle and getting ready to attack was a gang of fearsome looking pirates led by Captain Slottie.
The children surveyed the scene making sure that everything was in place before the battle began.
"I wish we could be down there with them," said Mathilda.
"That would be fun" agreed Jack.
One should always be careful what one wishes for, it might just come true. Now whether it was a passing fairy or a witch or just a stray left over wish from someone’s three, I do not know, but in a breathless instant Jack found himself standing inside the castle walls. Of Mathilda there was no sign.
"Ah, there you are, Jack," said a knight in very dusty armour. "Sir Yellow will be pleased to see you."
The dusty knight led Jack across the courtyard of the castle to where Sir Yellow was standing, staring at a tall tower. The tower appeared to have no door or windows, which Jack thought was a bit odd.
"Glad you could make it," said Sir Yellow, whose armour looked as if it needed a real good clean. "We have a major problem on our hands."
Jack looked puzzled. The knight went on. "We are surrounded by pirates who are about to attack." Jack frowned, "But I thought pirates only attacked ships, not Castles." The rest of the knights joined them. All of them looked very scruffy indeed.
"They do normally," said Sir Red," But they say we have their treasure and they want it back and unless we hand it over they will attack and destroy the castle."
"Well, if it is not yours, then give it back." It seemed straight forward enough to Jack.
Sir Blue joined in, "We would, if we knew where it was. We have searched the castle and found nothing, except for in there." He pointed to the Doorless Tower. "If you put your ear to the wall you can hear a dragon snoring."
Jack put his ear to the wall and sure enough from inside there came the sound of heavy breathing. It was loud enough to be coming from something big.
Sir Yellow said. "There are slots in the roof but we cannot quite get up there. If we stand on each other's shoulders we can see the top, but we need another person. Would you be so kind as to have a look for us?"
Jack did not mind climbing so he agreed. The knights in their rather less than shiny armour stood on each others shoulders and Jack climbed up them and on to the top of the Doorless Tower, There were indeed lots of slots in the roof, big enough for him to squeeze through. He asked for and was handed up a rope. He tied it round one of the slots and dropped the other end into the tower. Then, very bravely, he climbed down the rope. Inside, when his eyes got used to the gloom, was a terrible looking monster with a huge gaping mouth full of thousands of teeth. It had eyes on long stalks. The eyes stared at Jack.
"Hello," said the monster, which was not what Jack had expected.
"Er, hello yourself," replied the boy. Jack had been brought up to be polite and to speak when spoken to. "You are not going to eat me are you?" Jack thought it best to find out before going any further with the conversation
"I’ m a strict vegetarian," sniffed the monster. "You wouldn’t happen to have a bit of lettuce or a slice of tomato with you would you? Only I haven’t eaten anything for ages and I am terribly hungry. Just listen to my tummy grumbling."
Sure enough the monster's insides gave a truly awful rumble.
"Sorry!" apologised Jack. "I haven't. Why don’t you go and get some, there’s plenty in Mother’s vegetable patch."
The monster sighed. "I would, if I could, but I cannot get out of this Tower. There are no doors you see and I am not strong enough to push it over. And the floor is very uncomfortable."
Jack looked closely at what the monster was lying on. The floor was covered in brushes and combs and hand mirrors. "Mmm, that must be really unpleasant. I will go and see what I can do."
Quickly he climbed up the rope and back down the human ladder.
I shall leave him there explaining the monster to the knights, while we find out what had happened to Mathilda. Like Jack she too had an instant of breathlessness, but unlike him she found herself surrounded by fierce looking, bushy bearded pirates. Naturally, she was a little alarmed, but being a brave child she only gave a little squeak.
"Ah, Mathilda," said the Pirate Captain. "Good to have you aboard. We really do need your help."
Mathilda looked puzzled.
"The knights of the Sandy castle have got our treasure and we want it back, but they say they won’t give it back until we give them back their treasure."
"That’s easy then," said Mathilda. "Do a swap."
Captain Slottie said, "We would love to, but we can’t get at their treasure. It is in a chest that we cannot open and worse still the chest is underneath a huge monster. Come and see."
The pirates led Mathilda to a clump of trees and sure enough there was a huge hard shelled monster. Mathilda could just make out the corner of a chest sticking out from underneath the shell.
"It is asleep and we cannot wake it up to move it off the chest," said one of the pirates.
Mathilda put her ear to the shell and listened. Sure enough the sound of deep breathing could be heard from within.
"Interesting," said Mathilda thoughtfully. "But what is that strange smell?" She sniffed at the hard shell. The aroma was very familiar. Then she recognised it. It was her mother’s favourite bath salts. Now she knew who and what this monster was.
She clapped her hands in glee, making the pirates jump. "This is Simon Snail," she said. "I recognise the scent. Mother gave him a bath last night because he was all dirty. He must have really grown to be this big. He will stay asleep now until night."
"We cannot wait that long," said Captain Slottie. "Terrible things come out here in the dark and we would like to be back on our ship by then."
"Right," said Mathilda, "In that case we need to lift him up a bit then."
For once in her life she felt the need of her elder brother, he would know what to do.
So, let us go back to the castle. Jack had explained to the knights and suggested that they use the rope to try to pull the tower over. Even with all the knights and all the horses they could not quite do it.
"We need Mathilda," said Jack.
"She is with the Pirates!" called Sir Orange who had been looking over the castle wall at the Pirate camp.
Jack found a stick and tied his once white handkerchief to it. Then, bravely he and Sir Yellow walked out across the bridge over the dry moat. Captain Slottie and Mathilda came to meet them.
As polite as ever, Jack introduced Sir Yellow to Mathilda. This was not easy as Sir Yellow insisted on hiding behind Jack. Then, Mathilda introduced Captain Slottie to Jack. That was not easy as Captain Slottie hid behind Mathilda. Then, Jack introduced Sir Yellow to Captain Slottie. Jack and Mathilda did not need introducing, as they knew each other already.
Mathilda explained to Jack about the huge Simon the Snail sleeping on the Knights’ treasure chest. Jack explained about the monster in the Tower lying on what he thought was the pirates’ treasure.
"Hairbrushes and things," he said.
Captain Slottie nodded.
"Right!" said Jack, "We need to lever the snail up so you can pull the chest out from under. See if you can find a long strong piece of wood."
"We have looked everywhere for one before you came," said Captain Slottie. "But there are none to be found anywhere."
"Hmmmmmm, problem then!" said Jack. "No, hang on, there is a good stout piece of wood in the castle, the flagpole."
Jack and Sir Yellow went back into the castle and returned a few moments later with the flagpole. The pirates took it and went back to Simon the Snail. Jack and Sir Yellow followed.
The pirates were obviously used to moving things with levers and it did not take them long to push one end of the flagpole under Simon. They found a rock and rested the pole on that. Then they all pushed down on the other end of the pole, a bit like you would on a seesaw where one person is heavier than the other. Try as they might they could not quite move Simon.
"We need more weight!" said Jack. You had better get the rest of the knights out here," he told Sir Yellow.
The knight looked very worried. "But what is to stop the pirates attacking us if we all come out here?" he asked.
Captain Slottie looked fierce and angry. "I give you my promise and the promise of a Pirate Captain is never, ever broken. But what is to stop your knights attacking us when you are out here?"
Sir Yellow stood up straight in his now even less shiny armour. "I give you my word and a knight’s word should be good enough for anyone!" He glared at Captain Slottie.
"Well, that’s all right then, "said Mathilda. "A promise is a promise and a word is a word. Do let’s hurry up, it is getting late."
The knights in their dull armour came marching out and added their weight to that of the pirates. Simon the Snail gently lifted up enough for a brave Mathilda to nip under and pull the chest out.
Gently the snail was lowered to the ground, after all, no one wanted to wake him up.
"Our treasure!" shouted the knights and moved towards the chest. The pirates quickly surrounded it and pulled out their swords.
"Not till we get our treasure do you get yours," announced Captain Slottie.
"Well." said Jack. "If you want you your treasure you will have to come into the castle and help the knights."
"How do we know the Knights will not attack us once we are in the castle?" began Captain Slottie, but Mathilda interrupted.
"Oh, don’t let’s go through all that again. Everyone promise to be good and let’s get on with it!"
They all promised to be good and went into the castle carrying the Knights’ treasure chest with them.
It took all the pirates and all the knights and all the horses and Jack and finally Mathilda hanging on to the end of the rope to pull over the Doorless Tower. It fell with a crash and every one landed in a tangled heap on the floor.
Captain Slottie’s hat and beard fell off. Her bright yellow hair tumbled down around her shoulders. It looked as if it had not been combed for a month, full of tangles and knots. The other pirates too had lost their beards in the tumble. They also had long, uncombed hair. The secret was out, the pirates were all WOMEN. It was not Captain Slottie, but Captain Lottie.
The knights did not know what to do but the ladies did. As quick as a flash they picked themselves up and ran to the Tower. The monster had slithered away without anyone noticing.
Before long there was a chorus of happy sighs as the pirate ladies picked up combs and brushes and mirrors and began to groom their hair. For, as everyone knows, a lady is never seen with uncombed hair.
Now you might think that the knights would have watched this preening, but you would be wrong. As quickly as the ladies went for their hairdressing things the knights opened their treasure chest and took out its contents.
Before long there was a chorus of happy sighs as they settled down with polishing rags and metal polish to put a gleam on their armour. For as everyone knows a true knight should always have shiny armour.
Jack and Mathilda left them to it and walked across the bridge hand in hand. Jack was the kind of older brother who did not mind holding his sister’s hand occasionally and Mathilda was the kind of younger sister who would let him.
Simon the snail was still asleep where they had left him and in the distance they could hear the sound of someone munching on a nice crisp lettuce.
"All’s well that ends well!" announced Jack
"I can hear Mother calling," said Mathilda, "It must be time for tea."
As everyone knows those are the magic words and a breath taking instant later they were walking up the garden path to the house.
"Race you," said Mathilda and skipped off up the path. Jack ran after her, taking great care to not quite catch up so that she won the race. He was the kind of older brother who always let his younger sister win. Mathilda knew that he let her win, but did not say anything and that way they were both happy.
The Kingdom without a DragonChapter 1
A Small Country
S
omewhere along The Great South Road lay the Kingdom of Minisculia. If you had closed your eyes for a short nap whilst being driven along that particular stretch of the road, you may well have missed seeing the Kingdom at all.
It was not a very large country. It was just a narrow strip of land on either side of a wide river. The west end of the country was in the mountains where the river had its source. The eastern end was where the river widened out and ran into the sea.
Even if you kept your eyes open you would not have seen much. Minisculia was boring as well as thin. The river was just an ordinary bit of water, not very wide and only just too deep to be forded. It had no rapids or waterfalls. It did not flood and cover the plains with rich silt like some other rivers do. The bridge which carried The Great South Road over the river, was much the same as many other bridges. The boats which sailed on the water were very much like boats anywhere.
There had never been any important battles nor any major disasters. The country had produced no great heroes or heroines. Not one of its kings or queens had achieved international fame. The people were much like people anywhere, most good, some bad. None of the good were so good they became saints and none of the bad were so wicked as to be spoken of in hushed tones.
The land was not very rich nor was it very poor. It was a pleasant place to live, if incredibly dull. The people who lived there like it that way. The rest of the world left them alone to get on with their lives in peace. If the truth was to be told, the country only existed because it stopped its neighbours going to war with each other.
The present King and Queen were not as happy to be ignored as were their subjects. They did not want to go to war and conquer the world or anything like that. They just wanted to be remembered when invitations were sent out for Weddings, Christenings, Balls and such like things.
Queen Roberta felt most strongly about it. There was always something going on in the other countries. She read about them in the newspapers and got very upset. She would dearly liked to have been invited to some of the Weddings. People did not mean to ignore them. They just somehow seemed to forget Minisculia existed.
Eventually King Simon could take no more of his wife’s complaints. He decided that something had to be done. The fact that he made this decision after he had yet again not been invited to the Annual Kings Hunt had nothing to do with it.
King Simon sent for the Butler. Mr. Lawrence, the butler, was also the Prime Minister and every other government official too. So little went on in the country it saved a lot of money by having one person do all these jobs. Mr. Lawrence was a clever man and usually had some good ideas.
"We really must do something to put the Kingdom on the map," said the King. "We have had enough of being ignored by everybody."
"But, Sire, we are on the map," replied the Butler.
An Atlas was sent for. The three looked through it. Sure enough, Minisculia was on the map. You could see it quite clearly, with a large magnifying glass.
"You see, your Majesties, we are on the map."
"That is not quite what I meant," snapped King Simon. "We need something to make people look closely enough at the map to find us."
"And quickly!" snapped Queen Roberta. "There is a Wedding in Fortunia in three months time and I would like to be invited."
"I will do my best, your Majesties," promised the Butler.
The very next day he presented his ideas to the Royal couple.
"There is only one main road though our country. We could put up a road block and charge everybody to cross the River" That was his first idea.
King Simon shook his head. "That would probably upset people you know and we are trying to be friendly with them."
"In that case, we could build a Tavern by the bridge and encourage travellers to stop and eat. If the food was good enough then people would talk about it and the fame of our country would spread." That was the Butler’s next suggestion.
Queen Roberta shook her head. "If might well work, but surely that would take a long time, building an Inn and so on."
"The Queen is right, you know. We need something which will give instant results. Though the Tavern is a good idea. We should have built one years ago." King Simon said.
The Butler was not finished. "Perhaps we could organise a Grand Fireworks display on barges in the river."
"Tried that, " sniffed the King. "We sent out hundreds of invitations, but only those who live in Minisculia turned up."
"Flower show?" the Butler persevered.
"Same problem," replied the Queen. "Besides these things cost money and we need something cheap. Anyway we do not want people to come here. We want them to invite us there!"
"That really does make it much harder, "said the Butler.
"What we need is something which will get into all the newspapers in all these other countries," mused King Simon. "Something that will make them sit up and take notice."
The Butler walked around the room with his hands clasped behind his back. He found thinking easier that way. The sad monarchs sat and watched him.
Suddenly he clicked his fingers." Got it!" he shouted. "What we need is a Dragon."
"I beg your pardon," said the startled King. "A Dragon! There is precious little of the country as it is without half of it being burnt up by a nasty fire-breathing Dragon."
"That is not quite what I had in mind, "smiled the Butler. "What I was thinking of was a tame Dragon."
The monarchs looked puzzled.
"Please, Your Majesties, "Leave it with me. I will organise everything. And I promise you there will be no damage to the kingdom."
Reluctantly King Simon agreed to let the Butler do what he wanted. "Just remember that it should not cost too much as we will need to buy clothes and things, if your idea works that is."
Chapter 2
The Dragon
T
he following week the Butler told the royal couple that a Dragon would be arriving for an interview at 11 o’ clock on Tuesday. The rather nervous pair waited in the Throne room for the Dragon to arrive. The Butler would not answer any of their questions about the Dragon. He merely smiled and recommended them to wait and see.
The throne room doors were thrown open and the Butler announced in his best butler’s voice. "Your Majesties, the Dragon."
It is perhaps a good thing that Kings and Queens are trained to keep their faces straight, otherwise they may well have laughed at what they saw and upset the creature which crept in through the door. It was the smallest Dragon you have ever seen, assuming of course that you have ever seen a Dragon. It was not green and purple like pictures often show dragons to be, nor did it reek of fire and sulphur. Indeed, it was a rather delicate shade of pink and smelled of soap.
"Oh," cried the Queen, who if the truth be told, had been dreading this meeting. "Isn’t he sweet?"
King Simon whispered to the Butler. "Is this the right Dragon?"
"The only one we could afford, Your Majesty," replied the Butler.
"Well, in that case I suppose we had better get on with the interview then." King Simon turned to the Dragon. "Do you have any references?
The Dragon blushed a deeper shade of pink and took out a letter from a little satchel which hung round its neck. The Butler took the letter and passed it to King Simon. It was from Dame Little's School for Orphan Dragons. It said that Dragon number 731 was polite, hard working, house trained, very willing, but rather shy.
"Ah, I see." King Simon was not really sure what to ask. "Er....tell me Dragon.....Look here I cannot keep on calling you Dragon, have you got a name?"
A small purple tear ran down the dragon’s cheek and dripped on to the carpet as it shook its head.
"Oh, the poor little thing." Queen Roberta knelt down and wiped the Dragon’s eyes with her own handkerchief.
King Simon struggled on with the interview. "So, what do you eat?"
"Cucumber sandwiches and plums," whispered the Dragon, blushing again.
"That is a relief," King Simon whispered to the Butler. "At least he does not eat princesses or anything messy like that."
He turned back to the Dragon. "Do you breathe fire?"
The Dragon should its head and puffed out its cheeks. It blew a tiny, perfectly shaped, purple smoke ring.
"Is that all?" Queen Roberta asked.
The Dragon nodded.
King Simon shook his head. "I am not sure that this Dragon is exactly what we want. Is he Butler?"
Another purple tear rolled down the sad little Dragon’s face and it turned to go.
"Oh no!" cried the tender hearted Queen. "You cannot turn the poor little thing away."
"But my dear," protested the King.
"But nothing, sniffed the Queen. She knelt down on the floor next to the Dragon. "You would like to live here in the Palace wouldn’t you?"
The Dragon nodded its head and sniffed.
"Then so you shall," smiled the Queen.
King Simon turned to the Butler and shrugged.
"Perhaps he is not as big and fierce as I had expected, but he is the only Dragon available, " replied the Butler. "I have an idea that might work."
"Well you had better go and make some cucumber sandwiches then." King Simon knew when he was beaten.
"Good!" Queen Roberta stood up. "Cedric can stay as long as he likes." Then a thought struck her. "You are a boy Dragon aren't you?"
Cedric the Dragon nodded and skipped around the floor.
"Well, I suppose that is that!" King Simon went and sat on the throne.
The Butler bowed himself out of the room.
Next morning the Butler came to talk to the King. "The fire in the Kitchen is smoking badly again, Sire"
Simon was not really in the mood for trivial business matters. "Well, call the Chimney sweep out then."
"Not yet Sire, not yet. I have an idea."
Roberta came into the throne room, followed by Cedric who was happily munching on his breakfast plum.
The Butler bowed to the Queen and continued. "What do Dragons normally do?" Roberta shuddered. "They breathe fire on things."
"And eat people," added the king.
"Precisely," said the Butler.
"Everyone knows that, "said Simon. "But this one doesn’t."
"But he IS a Dragon which means that we can honestly say the Minisculia HAS a Dragon!" said the Butler.
The monarchs looked puzzled.
The Butler asked another question." How were we going to let the rest of the world know that we are having a problem with a Dragon?"
"Well, it was your plan," replied Simon. "I suppose you were going to tell the Newspapers about it."
Roberta was still puzzled. "But Cedric here is the wrong sort of Dragon. I mean look at him. He is definitely not the fire breathing people eating kind of monster that Newspapers like to write about."
Cedric was lying on the rug in front of the fire counting his toes.
"The corn field behind the Palace is due to have the stubble burn off it today," said the Butler.
"Yes" replied Simon. "But so what?"
"I wonder if Cedric would like to do the honours and start it burning for us. I am sure he can be trusted with a box of matches, don’t you, Your Majesties?" asked the Butler.
Cedric nodded eagerly and blew a really superb smoke ring.
Even Simon could see that the Butler was up to something.
"Be that as it may, but what about the people eating?" he asked.
The Butler answered with yet another question. "How do you know when a Dragon has eaten someone?"
"Usually because they have completely disappeared and the Dragon looks full." replied Roberta.
"Exactly!" smiled the Butler.
"I am not sure I understand what you are planning," said Simon. "And I think perhaps it is better if we do not know, then we cannot spoil it. You had better go ahead and organise it all. I am sure you know what you are doing."
The butler bowed and left the room.
Later that day the field of stubble behind the palace burned really well in the late summer sun. At the same time two of the Palace chamber maids suddenly disappeared. The butler told them to pack their bags and go off on paid holiday to the seaside. They were not to return until they were told to do so by him. They were very happy to do as they were told.
That evening King Simon sent for the Butler. "Have you seen these stories in the evening newspapers?"
"Yes, Sire," replied the Butler.
Simon read them out just to make sure. "Minisculia ravaged by a fierce Dragon. The reporter told of how the country was in danger of disappearing in flames and that half the young women in the country have been eaten."
"Very interesting story, is it not Sire?" smiled the Butler.
"But where on earth did they get the story from? I hope you have not been telling lies." said Simon sternly.
"Certainly not," sniffed the Butler a little huffily. "I did not need to, the reporters managed that very nicely for themselves."
"But there haven’t been any reporters in the kingdom," complained Simon.
"I know Sire, they could not find it!" laughed the Butler as he left the room.
Chapter 3
Invitations
T
he first invitation arrived the very next morning. The Post Office was one of the few institutions which could find Minisculia, especially when it came to delivering bills.
"Simon, my dear, look. An invitation." cried an excited Queen Roberta.
"Oh how nice," said Simon, not really listening. He was reading the morning newspapers. There were further stories about the horrors taking place in Minisculia. This report claimed that the people there were having to live on boats in the river for safety. This rather puzzled him, as most people already lived on boats in the river, since there was so little land.
"It is from Queen Margaret. She wants us to go to a Ball tomorrow evening. Shall we go?"
"May as well, make the most of it while it lasts!" replied the gloomy king.
He handed over the newspapers which Roberta quickly scanned.
"Oh dear, what shall we do. They are sure to ask about the Dragon?" she wailed.
Simon sighed, "That is what is bothering me!"
The Butler entered the room with the breakfast tray. "Good morning Your Majesties. The postman has brought an unusually large number of letters today. I trust that some of them are the Invitations you wanted?"
"Ah, Butler, certainly there is at least one invitation," replied Simon, looking at the card Roberta was holding.
"But we do have one small worry about accepting it."
"Sire?" The butler sounded surprised. "I though the whole point of the exercise was to get invited to parities and things?"
"It was," replied Roberta. "But what do we say when people ask us about the Dragon and the damage and people disappearing and having to live on boats?"
The Butler smiled. "It is very simple, Your Majesties. Tell them the truth."
Roberta sniffed, "I don’t understand."
Simon was also puzzled. "I don’t understand either. If we tell them the truth then they will know it was all exaggeration and laugh at us."
"Will they? That all depends on how you go about telling the truth." explained the Butter patiently.
The monarchs still looked puzzled.
"We DO have a Dragon." said the Butler.
The couple nodded. "But!" protested Simon, "You cannot say he is the world's' fiercest creature. I mean, look at him."
Cedric was playing on with a ball of wool, for all the world like a large pink kitten.
The butler sighed. "If anyone asks you about the Dragon all you have to do is say that you prefer not to talk about him."
"Well, that is true enough," said Simon.
"And, " went on the Butler. "The field behind the palace has been burnt by a Dragon. I gave him the matches myself and watched to make sure he came to no harm."
"I suppose so, "agreed Simon. "So now explain these disappearances."
"Have you seen either Betty or Jane, the chambermaids recently?" asked the Butler.
"No, I was going to ask you about them," said the Queen.
"There you are then," said the butler in triumph. "Some people have disappeared. And before you mention it, people do live on the river in boats. All you need to do is tell the truth, shudder and say you had rather not talk about it."
The king and queen nodded.
The Ball was a huge success. Roberta and Simon were the stars of the evening. Everybody wanted to talk to them. Roberta had a wonderful time and accepted invitations to all sorts of Balls, Christenings, Weddings and parties. Simon found himself the centre of a group of rulers who wanted his opinion on every subject under the sun. It was a tremendous feeling.
As they drove home by the light of the moon, Roberta snuggled up to her husband and said sleepily, "The nice thing is that we don’t have to invite them back just yet. They won’t come until we have got rid of the Dragon and Cedric is far too nice to want to do that."
Chapter 4
Trouble with a Hero
N
ext day a small problem did occur. In the afternoon Simon was in the throne room dealing with the day's business when the Butler came in and announced "A Petitioner, Your Majesty."
A group of Minisculia citizens followed the Butler into the room. They were carrying a large roll of paper. The leader of the group bowed low and presented the roll to the king. He opened it and read "To his Royal Highness King Simon of Minisculia. We the undersigned respectfully request that the king take action to protect his loyal subjects from the Dragon which at this moment is ravaging our fair country." Underneath were a large number of signatures.
"But, but......." Simon was rather taken aback. "Have any of you actually seen this Dragon?"
"Not as such," said the leader of the group. "But there must be one. We read about it in the papers."
Simon looked wildly to the Butler for help.
The Butler stepped forward. "King Simon thanks you for your petition and assures you that everything in his power will be done to protect the citizens of our beloved country from the Dragon. Even now steps are being taken to see that any damage done by the Dragon is being repaired with the utmost speed."
King Simon’s eyebrows almost disappeared into hair.
The leader of the group bowed and said, "We are grateful to his Majesty for his kind words and wish him every success."
"Thank you. Before you go I do have one question to ask of you," said Simon.
"I am yours to command," replied the man.
"When are you coming to sweep the kitchen chimney?"
"Ah, well now Your Majesty. I have got you down for a fortnight on Tuesday." The leader of the group was indeed the Chimney sweep.
"Well, I hope so. Now just go away and leave it to me."
The group backed out of the room and the Butler closed the doors behind them.
"Well?" asked Simon when they were safely out of earshot. "What do we do now? And how could you tell such a great big fib?"
"What fib?"
"The one about repairing the damage done by the Dragon."
"That was no fib. I looked out of the window and the gardener is replanting the rose bushes that Cedric dug up yesterday."
"Oh!" replied the King.
"As to what to do, we issue a Proclamation." finished the Butler.
"Saying what?” asked Simon.
"Oh, the usual, you know. ‘Whosoever riddeth the kingdom of the Dragon shall receive half of the kingdom as reward.’ That one," said the Butler.
"Hang on, the place is small enough as it is without giving half of it away," protested Simon.
"We won’t have to, "said the Butler. "One. No right minded person is going to fight a Dragon for such a small reward and Two. We do not want to actually get rid of the Dragon anyway."
Simon gave a great big sigh. This was getting very complicated. "You had better go ahead and issue the Proclamation then."
The next month was very busy. The King and Queen were out almost every night enjoying themselves. Quite a few would be heroes came, but as the Butler said none of them were willing to fight a Dragon for such a small reward. The locals went back to their boats and since there were no more fires and no more disappearances, they were not unhappy, Indeed, the only sign of the Dragon was the smoke from somewhere in the palace. The chimney sweep had not yet managed to sweep the kitchen chimney.
However, at the end of the month it happened. A hero came who was not in his right mind and did not care about the size of the reward. In fact he offered to do the job for no reward at all. He just wanted to fight a Dragon to impress his girlfriend.
"It is not a very big one!" said King Simon to the would-be hero, Sir Roger de Masham.
"All the better then Sire," he said. "I am a bit nervous about the whole thing. It may be better to start off with something small." He pushed his glasses up his nose and smiled at the King.
"Yes, I suppose so. The Butler will show you to your room. You look as if you have had a long and weary journey."
"Thank-you Sire. Yes it was a long journey. I had terrible trouble finding the place. I kept falling asleep in the coach and driving straight through."
The Butler came in.
"Ah, show Sir Roger to a guest room. He has come to kill the Dragon for us, "ordered Simon. "Then come back here, I wish to talk to you."
The Butler bowed and led Sir Roger from the room.
Simon sat tapping his fingers on the arm of the throne until the Butler returned.
"Well, " said the Butler. "This is a bit of a problem, but do not concern yourself you majesty, I will think of something."
"You had better." Simon was almost frantic with worry. "The queen would never speak to either of us again if that.... idiot..... killed Cedric."
"I do not think it will come to that," soothed the Butler.
"Well, whatever you do, I don’t want to know about it," said Simon. "Just find a way to get rid of that clown upstairs without him hurting Cedric."
The butler bowed himself out of the room. He was beginning to wish he had never thought of the idea in the first place.
Chapter 5
A Dragon for Sir Roger
T
he Butler left the palace and walked down into the small town which was the capital city of Minisculia. His brother was the local Blacksmith. The problem was explained to him. He though for a few minutes, then said, "I think I know what we can do. Come on we need to go and talk to Cousin Fred, the carpenter."
The problem was explained to Fred. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Yes. I could make that, but it would be better if it moved. I think Uncle Albert, the Clock maker would be the one to talk to,"
The problem was explained to the Clock maker. He thought for a few moments and said, "I am sure we can do that between us, let’s get started, if you need it by tomorrow morning."
"I will have to leave you to it. I have to go back to the Palace now," said the Butler. "Send a message when it is finished. Oh and this really must be kept a secret, please."
The others nodded. They were too busy to speak.
By the time the Butler returned to the Palace, it was time to serve the evening meal. Sir Roger spent the whole time explaining how he was going to kill the Dragon. Fortunately, Queen Roberta was away at an all Queens evening in a neighbouring country or she would have been very upset. As it was Simon got more and more worried as the evening went on.
"Do not worry, Sire. I have got everything under control," whispered the Butler as he served the coffee in the Drawing room.
"I hope so," replied Simon. "I really do hope so."
After coffee Sir Roger went off to the Exercise Yard to practice a few strokes. Simon watched him for a few moments then went into the Palace to talk to the Butler.
"Well, what are you going to do?"
"I thought Your Majesty did not want to know," said the Butler.
"I did, but it is probably better if I have some idea other wise I may give the game away by accident."
"Well, Sire what is a Dragon?"
Simon was far too worried to be in a good mood. "Never mind the Twenty Questions, just explain what you are doing!"
The butler sighed. "A Dragon is just a lot of smoke, a bit of fire and few roars, but not much else."
"They usually have a large body, a long tail, and an appetite to match," said the King.
The Butler ignored the interruption. "What we are going to do is to build an artificial Dragon. The Carpenter is putting an old garden shed on wheels and adding a long neck and head and a tail. The Clock maker is going to put some cogs and things inside so that the head can be moved and the Blacksmith is going to put a fire and bellows inside so that it can blow smoke. Then we can put it in the field behind the Palace for Sir Roger to fight."
King Simon thought for a few minutes then nodded. "It could work, but how are you going to stop Sir Roger noticing it is just a shed?"
"You may have noticed that Sir Roger is rather short sighted, " said the Butler. "If I swap his glasses for my reading glasses, he is going to have trouble seeing anything beyond the end of his sword."
"It has to work, otherwise we are in real trouble. I wish we had never started this thing," sighed Simon. "When will it be ready?"
"In the morning, we will put it there tonight after everyone is in bed."
There was nothing else to be said.
Sir Roger entered the throne room "Your Majesty, I am ready to fight the Dragon. Where will I find it?"
"Er, well, I. ummmmm." Simon looked helplessly at the Butler.
"The Dragon usually appears in the field behind the Palace at dawn," said the Butler. "If you go there just as the sun is rising, the Dragon will be there."
Sir Roger nodded and swallowed nervously.
"You will only have the one chance to kill it. If you fail it may well eat you." The Butler sounded as if he was enjoying himself.
"If you do not manage to cut of its head with your first blow, all you can do is run. You must leave the Kingdom as fast as you can and never return. Dragons have very long memories."
Sir Roger looked even more nervous.
"But if.....no when you are successful, your name will be in every Newspaper and your girl friend cannot fail to be impressed."
Sir Roger still looked unhappy. "I think I had better go and get a good nights sleep.
King Simon nodded. "A very good idea. I will send the Butler up with a hot drink to help you go to sleep."
Sir Roger went to his room. He got undressed and into bed. The Butler brought him a cup of Cocoa and put it on the bedside cabinet. As he did so he took Sir Roger’s glasses from the bedside cabinet and placed his own there instead.
When everyone in the Palace was settled down the Butler went into town. The Dragon was ready, but it still did not look enough like a Dragon to fool even a blind knight. The four men raced to the palace and collected up all the egg boxes they could find and glued them all over the shed.
"That looks a bit better," said the Clock maker. "But the colour is wrong, it should be green and purple."
The Carpenter nodded. "I have some paint which will do nicely."
They fetched the paint and set too. Soon the ‘Dragon’ looked more like the real thing, from a distance anyway.
They pushed and pulled the ‘Dragon’ to the field and set it imposition. The Blacksmith got inside. "I will set my alarm for just before dawn to give me time to light the fire," he said.
Next morning everyone was up before the sun. The Butler went out to make sure the Blacksmith was awake. There was a plume of smoke already coming from the ‘Dragon's’ mouth. The butler knocked on the shed. "Are you ready?"
"Yes, "came the muffled reply, "But make sure you get everyone away straight afterwards so I can get out."
"Will do!" promised the Butler. "Oh dear, the paint is not dry!" His hand had a purple stain on it.
"It is too late to worry about that," said the Blacksmith.
The Butler wiped his hands on the grass and went back inside to supervise breakfast.
Sir Roger could not face food. Now that it was time to fight the Dragon, he was wondering if it was such a good idea after all.
The Butler encouraged him. "Do not worry, sir. I am positive that you will win without any difficulty what so ever. I feel it in my bones."
Sir Roger was so nervous that he did not even notice that he could hardly see past the end of his nose, nor that the glasses perched there were not his own.
After those who wanted breakfast had finished, the sun was just peeping over the hills and Sir Roger was led out to the field. It was a fine if rather misty morning. It was quite hard to make out the ‘Dragon’ in the haze.
Sir Roger did not want an audience, but King Simon and Queen Roberta insisted and since it was their Kingdom he could hardly refuse. The Butler came along too.
As promised the ‘Dragon’ was there, waiting for him, swinging its head from side to side, breathing smoke and roaring. It was hard to see clearly through the mist and smoke, especially with the sun shining from behind the ‘Dragon’.
The Queen gave a squeal, quite forgetting that it was not real. She had been let in on the scheme when she returned from her party.
Simon turned to the Butler. "I say, you have made a really good job of that."
The Butler bowed.
Sir Roger took a deep breath and pulled down the visor on his helmet. He tried to swallow the huge lump which had jumped into his throat, but it would not go down. He tottered forwards swinging his sword from side to side. There was a satisfying thud and something fell at his feet. He looked down in amazement to see the ‘Dragon’s’ nose resting on his shoe. Before he could move or do anything else there was a sudden spurt of smoke from the ‘Dragon's’ body which then burst into flames.
"Whoops," said the Butler and rushed forward. King Simon followed and quickly led away the still bewildered Dragon slayer away. The Blacksmith staggered out of the burning shed.
"That was close, but when he hit the head, the fire fell over," he explained.
"As long as you are safe, it is probably for the best. Quick throw the head on and then get yourself home," said the Butler.
Back in the Palace Sir Roger was sat in the throne room. He was still shaking. He had not even managed to put his sword away. The royal couple were congratulating him. He took off his glasses and wiped his forehead. "I don’t think I am cut out for this sort of thing. I don’t think I will make a career out of it."
"Very wise," said Simon.
While they were talking, the Butler quickly replaced Sir Roger’s own glasses.
Sir Roger put on his glasses and looked at his sword. "Oh, it has got dragon’s blood on it. Funny how it looks like purple paint isn’t it?"
"Allow me to clean it off for you," said the Butler and wiped the sword clean. "Now, Sir Roger, the Newspaper photographer is waiting for you."
Sir Roger allowed himself to be led away.
Chapter 6
The Final Act
T
he story of the heroic battle with eye witness reports of the event and photographs of the burning carcass and the madly grinning hero soon appeared in the specially rushed out editions of the newspapers. The people of Minisculia sent a deputation to thank the King and the brave knight. They were so pleased that they asked if they could hold a Flower festival cum Firework display to celebrate.
"We will pay!" said the Chimney sweep.
"In that case," said the King. "Go ahead."When the Royal couple eventually managed to get back to the throne room and sit down Roberta sighed, "Well, I suppose it is all over now."
"What do you mean, my dear?"
"Now that the Dragon has been killed we will stop getting invitations. Everyone will forget all about us again," she said sadly.
"I suppose so. Still never mind, we have enjoyed ourselves and there is the Fireworks Ball to look forward to." King Simon tried to cheer her up.
The Celebration was a great success. All the local children made a model Dragon from egg boxes painted purple and green. They paraded it through the town to the field behind the Palace where it was burnt as the firework display took place.
Sir Roger had to shake hands with everyone who came and to show them his sword. He was given the honour of lighting the Dragon bonfire. He was still a little puzzled about what had happened, but he read about the glorious battle in the newspapers and came to believe it, After all it must be true, it had been in the Newspapers. His girl friend was as impressed as he had hoped, but wisely forbade him from ever fighting another Dragon, just in case.
All the rulers of all the surrounding countries turned up for the Ball, as did everyone who was invited and a few who were not. The evening was a huge success. The Dragon idea was after all the success it was hoped it would be.
The kitchen maids returned from their holidays and went back to work.
To make sure that nobody ever missed their way when visiting the Kingdom, the butler had a huge sign put up. It read "Welcome to Minisculia. The Kingdom Without A Dragon." Now that was the biggest fib of all, Minisculia still had a Dragon, Cedric.
The Ragdoll
Chapter 1
T
he village of Othermoor was so small it hardly deserved to have a name at all. It was just a small collection of houses and shops on either side of the road. There was an Inn that catered for the few travellers who used the road that wound its way across the moors to the City far to the West. The shops were not like those you would find in a modern day town though. These were just the front room of a house. There were shutters that could be opened so that people passing by could see what good there were to be bought. There was a Butchers shop and a Shoemakers. The shoemaker not only made the stout leather boots that all the farmers wore, but he also mended anything made from leather. There was a Smithy with a roaring furnace in the back. This was a good place to be on a cold winter’s day and was the meeting place for the men of the village when they were not working.
The last shop and the last building in the village sold all sorts of different things. Here the women folk of the village could buy ribbons, or a paper of pins or a card of buttons. There were other things on sale too. I suppose one might call it a junk shop. People would often call in with something that they no long wanted and after a few minutes discussing its worth, a few coins would change hands and the object placed on a shelf for someone else to buy. If you wanted something like a left handed bobbin remover, this was the place to go. Again there would be a few minutes discussion about how much one was prepared to pay, a few coins would change hands and both owner and buyer parted company happily.
The owner of this shop was a little old lady who spent most of the opening hours sat in a rocking chair, by her front door, knitting. As people went past about their business they would smile and greet her and she would smile back and carry on with whatever she was making. Everything in the shop was for sale, except for an old rag doll that sat at the other end of the counter to the old lady’s chair. It was an odd thing. Adults sometimes asked the price of the doll, thinking it would make a nice present for some poor child with nothing to play with. When they did, the old lady would shake her head, stroke the jewel she had on a gold chain round her neck and tell them firmly that the doll was not for sale. Children however, never asked if the doll was for sale. They would go to it, take one look and shake their heads and go play with something else.
On the first Sunday in every month, her sons who lived and worked in the City would come and visit, bringing their wives and children. Knitted garments would be handed over and more wool put in the old ladies knitting bag. The children spent hours playing with the things in the shop. They never played with the rag doll though. If you had asked them why they left it alone, they could only say, "It does not want to be played with." If you pressed them for more they would begin to cry. The old lady herself when asked about the doll would smile and shake her head and change the subject.
I suppose I should give this old lady a name, but like many grown-ups she had a lot of names. To her sons and daughters-in-law she was ‘Mam.’ To her grandchildren she was, ‘Nan’. To younger people in the village she was ‘Mrs. Forrester’. Finally to her friends and neighbours of her own age she was LP I wish I knew her name, but I was never told it. I am not sure that even LP could remember what her birth name was. She had been called LP for longer than she could remember. It began when her older brother, Flick, saw her as a new born baby for the first time. "Oh, what a little, perfect baby!" He had exclaimed. So, LP she became and LP she stayed all her life.
This then is the story of LP and the Rag doll as I was told it. It may be true, it may not be. You must judge for yourselves. LP was born the youngest child and only daughter of a farmer. She had two older brothers and as often happens when a girl has no other girls to follow she followed her brothers. Perfect might have been her nickname, but she was far from it. She scraped her knees, she banged her elbows, she cut her chin, she bruised her shins doing everything that her brothers did. Whatever mischief they got up to, you could guarantee that LP was somewhere around copying them. Her mother’s frequent cry was. "Oh. LP, that is not the way a respectable girl should behave!"
In the end LP’s mother found some rather nice checked material that she cut and sewed into a doll. It had brown wool for hair, buttons for eyes and a rather nice embroidered smile. The finishing touch was a neat little pinafore, just like the one LP’s mother wore when she was baking.
"There, " she said to LP "I have made this for you."
LP was not an ungrateful child and said "Thank-you!"
I have to say that Doll, as it was christened went everywhere that LP went. Admittedly it was almost always dragged along by an arm or a leg or even by the hair and it soon looked very dirty and bedraggled, but she never left it behind. LP even insisted that Doll was tucked up in bed with her at night.
Everything went on happily until LP was ten years old. In the local town every year there was a Market and a Fair. Everybody from miles around went. There were stalls where one could buy anything from a pin to a farm cart. For the children there were swings and roundabouts. There were people who sold honeycomb and other sticky delights. There were acrobats and clowns. There were prizes to be won in all kinds of competitions. It was the prize for one of these which led to trouble.
Flick entered the Horse shoe tossing event. The idea of the game was to see who could throw a horseshoe and make it land nearest to a wooden pole in the ground. Each person had three horseshoes to throw. Flick had been practising every spare moment all year for just this occasion. He won much to LP’s delight. The prize was a piglet, a real live squealing piglet! At the end of the day, the family climbed onto their cart and drove home with the piglet grasped firmly in Flick’s arms. As it was dark when they reached home, the piglet was locked in the Barn and everyone went off to bed, well satisfied with their day.
Next morning LP, trailing Doll was up early. She had her glass of fresh milk and went to the Barn to see the piglet. There was no noise coming from the Barn so she opened the door just a little. Nothing moved. She opened the door a little more. There was no sound. She opened the door wider and went in. There was a startlingly loud squeal and the piglet galloped past LP and out into the farm yard.
"Ooops!" gasped LP and turned to give chase.
"Squeal!" squealed the piglet and ran through the yard. LP gave chase. The hens and geese and ducks scattered as the pair ran through the flock on its early morning food hunt. As quick as lightning the piglet went under the farm gate and set off down the Farm track towards the road.
"Ooooops!" gasped LP and went after it. She opened the gate though rather than going under it. Being a good farm brought up child, she carefully closed the gate after her before following the piglet down the track.She reached the road just in time to see the piglet turn and run along the middle of the road.
"Oooooooooooops!" said LP and went after it.
Try as she might she could not catch up with the animal, but she had to keep on trying. Flick would be very upset if she lost his prize. So it was that LP did not notice that she had gone further away from the Farm down the road than she had ever been before and that she was no longer on a road across farmland. The hedges had given way to trees. The piglet had led LP into the Dark Forest.
If you knew half as many tales about the Dark Forest as I do, then you would know just how dangerous a thing LP had done. LP's luck was really bad that day for who should happen to be coming along the road, but the Wicked Witch of the Dark Forest. If you knew even a quarter of the things about her as I do you would be shivering in your shoes about now.
The Witch pointed a finger at the piglet and muttered something under her breath. The piglet stopped squealing and floated into the air until it reached the Witch’s eye level. If you had seen it and not been so frightened you may have laughed to see the piglet, still running, but with its trotters, five feet off the ground. LP caught up, rather out of breath. She did not realise immediately whom the tall woman dressed all in black was.
"That’s my piglet!" she said, rather breathlessly. "Give it to me!"
The Witch looked down at the panting girl. "I give nothing free!" she said. "You must give me something for the piglet."
LP thought for a moment. She had nothing to give...........except Doll. She offered Doll to the Witch.
"That scrap of material is not enough. You must make a choice. Either you or the Piglet." The Witch said. "Make your choice."
"But the piglet is Flick’s. I mustn't lose it." wailed LP.
"Then the choice is simple. The pig goes free and you come with me. Or you go free and the piglet is mine."
LP sighed. It was her fault the piglet escaped. "Me" she said very quietly.
"Fair enough," said the Witch. She waved her fingers at the piglet that floated gently to the ground, turned tail and fled squealing back down the road towards the Farm.
"It will not stop running until it gets home," said the Witch. "Now you come with me." She made some more movements with her hand, muttered something under her breath and in an instant both her and LP were stood outside a small cottage in a clearing in the forest. "This is your home now," said the Witch. "In you go!"
LP had no choice. Her feet obeyed the Witch and took her into the Cottage.
We will leave LP there for a moment. Back at the Farm once it was realised that LP was missing, there was pandemonium. All the farm people were organised into search parties. They searched the farm, the fields and followed the road down towards the town and up into the Dark Forest. Of LP there was no sign and no one had seen or heard anything. When the piglet came squealing along the road from the Forest, people looked at each other and shook their heads. If LP had followed the piglet there, then they would never find her.
Sadly they made their way home. The Farm work still had to be done. Flick took a message to the King’s Foresters. They were the people who looked after the roads through the Forest. If anyone could find LP, it was they. They promised to search and search they did, but never a sign of the little girl did they find.
Flick refused to give up and every moment of his spare time he spent wandering the Forest paths looking for his little sister.
You may be thinking that perhaps that this Witch was like the one you may have read about who fattened up children to eat. You would be wrong. This Witch was more interested in having a house maid than a lunch. LP was set to work cleaning and scrubbing and dusting. The Witch was not cruel, LP had a bed that was quite comfortable and cosy, once she had got used to the spiders and bats that lived in the rafters and were not to be disturbed. She was given enough food, not as good as her mother made, but nourishing enough. There were even clothes for her, not good quality, but wearable.
She was allowed to go outside into the garden, but when she tried to go through the garden gate she found she could not take another step.
"Hah!" said the Witch. "You are mine now and the only way you can leave here is if I come with you."
Chapter 2
L
P put her mind to work on a way of getting home. She watched carefully everything the Witch did. LP thought about pushing the Witch into the oven as she had heard a story about some children who did that to escape. However, the Witch’s oven was rather too small to fit anything bigger than a large loaf of bread in it, so that idea was no use. Besides, the Witch had said that LP could not leave unless the Witch went with her and if she was burned to a cinder that would not be easy to do.
The Witch seemed to do much of her spell making after dark when LP was in bed. So, she made a hole in the wall by her cot so she could watch and hear what the Witch said over the potions that bubbled on the oven. One night when LP was watching, the Witch suddenly stood up right and went to the cottage door. Before anyone knocked, the Witch flung it open and said "Well?"
LP could only hear a muffled reply.
"You had better come in then!" said the Witch. A cloaked figure came in and sat on the stool at the end of the Witch’s work bench. The man took of his hat and pushed the cloak away from his face. LP could see him quite clearly. She was surprised to see that he was wearing the same uniform as the soldiers LP had sometimes seen riding past the Farm gate. She listened carefully.
"His Majesty needs some information. There is a body of outlaws on the North and we need to know exactly where they are. The King wondered with your special skills if you could find out?"
"I could, but why should I?" The Witch asked.
"His Majesty is willing to pay a reasonable reward." The man took out a bag and rattled it.
The Witch reached over and opened it and took out a gold coin. "Hah!" she said and crumbled the coin to dust in her fingers. A cloud of black dust fell to the floor boards. "That is how much use gold is to me."
"Oh!" The man sounded rather shocked. "What would you want then?"
"There is something nothing too difficult which I would like. In the Palace garden there is a Rowan tree. Now as you know I cannot go near those things. "
The man nodded. LP stored away that piece of information in case she ever needed it.
The Witch went on. "Under that tree are some toadstools growing. The Princess must pick those for me at Midnight and put them in this bag." She roe and took a small bag from a cupboard. "She must tie the string around the top tightly and under no circumstances should anyone open it. You may bring it to me tomorrow night and I will have your information for you."
"The Princess will not be harmed will she? The King would not allow that." The man sounded worried.
"I can promise you that the toadstools will not harm the Princess in any way whatsoever." replied the Witch.
"Now go, I have a lot to do if you are to learn where the Mercenaries are hiding."
The man wrapped himself in his cloak and left.
When he had gone and the Cottage door was firmly closed, the Witch gave a wicked chuckle and said, "The toadstools won’t hurt her, but while they are tied up in that bag, she will belong to me!"
LP was horrified.
She continued to watch as the Witch gathered various ingredients from around the room. They were mixed in a small bowl until they turned in to a thick green paste. Then she went outside. Moments later she came back in with a huge Barn owl floating behind her. It looked very odd as its wings were folded and it looked very frightened. The Witch smeared the green pasted on its beak and above its eyes. Then she stood back and pointed at the bird. She muttered something under her breath. The whole world seemed to stand still for a minute, then the Witch disappeared. The owl shook itself, dropped to the ground and walked out of the door. LP could not see where it went after that.
She nipped out of bed and into the kitchen. Everything looked the same as it ever did, except for some black dust on the floor. The mixing bowl was still on the table. Some of the green paste was still inside. Quickly LP found and old jar and scraped as much of the paste as she could into it. She hoped it might come in useful sometime and it was the first Spell that the Witch had left lying around. LP turned to go back to bed and noticed a gold chain with a large jewel lying on the table. Puzzled she picked it up and examined it. She did not remember seeing it before. She held it up to the window to look at it in the bright moonlight. Quickly she put it back on the table. It seemed to her that she could see the Witch’s face in the centre of the jewel. She closed the Cottage door and went back to bed.
At dawn LP was awoken by a knocking at the Cottage door. She scrambled out of bed and opened it. The Barn owl was stood on the step. It gave LP a savage peck and pushed past her. It went over to the table and pecked at the jewel. The whole world seemed to stop for a minute, then the Witch was stood there. Of the owl there was no sign at all.
"Stupid girl!" said the Witch. LP was sucking the peck on her hand. "Next time you get up and find the door open, you leave it that way, understand?"
LP nodded and got on with her chores.
That night the King’s messenger called again. He handed over a bag. The Witch held it to her ear and nodded.
"The Outlaws are camped in a valley on the west side of the Mountains, where the River Dote rises. They think they are safe there," she told him.
"I know it," smiled the Messenger. "They have got themselves in a trap, there is only one way out of that valley. The King will be very pleased. Thank-you." He got up and left.
The Witch took the bag and hung it on a hook in one of the beams in the ceiling. Next morning she warned LP that under no circumstances was she to touch the bag.
Chapter 3
A
few days later LP was wakened by another night visitor. She listened to the conversation.
"Well, well, and what can the Witch of the Dark Forest do for Bardan the robber?"
"There is a wagon train of merchants coming into the kingdom in a few days time. They have to come one of three ways. I need to know which one they are going to use." The man had his back to LP so she could not see his face.
"And what do you intend to pay me for this information?" asked the Witch.
"Any reasonable price." replied the robber.
"Hmmm, you could actually be doing me a favour, "said the Witch. "I know of those merchants, they are bringing me some rather rare and very expensive herbs. Find them and bring them to me. The package will be marked with a sign like this." She drew a picture on the table. LP could not see what it was. "Oh and whatever you do, do not let the parcel get wet. And just so as you do not think to cheat me." As quick as a flash the Witch reached out and snatched a few hairs from the robber’s head.
"Hey!" he exclaimed.
"Watch," said the Witch and twisted one of the hairs around between her fingers. The robber clutched his head and gasped. " That is agony!"
"You get the hair back when I get the herbs safe and dry." sneered the Witch. "Come back tomorrow night and I will tell you which pass they are going to use."
The robber left.
Once again LP watched as the Witch made some green paste. This time though it was an eagle that followed the Witch into the Cottage. LP still could not hear the words the Witch used. The whole world seemed to stand still for a minute. The Witch disappeared and the Eagle went out. The jewel on the chain lay on the table. LP went and scraped the last of the green paste into her jar and this time leaving the door open went back to bed.
Next morning she watched as the eagle disappeared and the Witch reappeared. That night Bardan the robber returned.
"The merchants are sending three lots of wagons out, one through each pass. Two of them are just loads of firewood, the third is the one you want. That is coming through Snowbird pass tomorrow morning."
She held up the robber’s hair. "Just remember" she said.
The robber left.
Later one that day he returned with a parcel that he handed over to the Witch. She opened it and smelt the contents. "Good,"
"My hair?" asked Bardan.
The Witch handed over a hair and watched as the robber left hurriedly.
"Idiot" sneered the Witch as she came into the Cottage. She took down a small box and placed the piece of robber’s hair in it and put the box on a high shelf. "That might come in useful one day."
LP was cleaning the table. The Witch took the parcel of herbs and carefully put them into a large stone jar. She sealed the top with wax from a candle. She turned to LP. "Whatever happens no water must get anywhere near those. They stop working when they get wet."
LP was brave enough to ask "What do they do?"
The Witch smiled a very nasty smile. "One sniff of those and the person will do anything I tell them. And I mean anything."
A week went by before there was another late evening visitor. "This is a long way from the sea for a pirate," said the Witch as she let the man in.
"Aye, it is, but I need some information. My ship was damaged in a storm and it needs to be repaired. I need to know where the King’s ships are so I can do the repairs on a safe beach somewhere."
"And what do you intend to pay me for this help?" asked the Witch.
The pirate took out a small wooden box and showed it to the Witch. LP heard her gasp. The Witch snatched the box from the pirate and quickly opened it.
She snarled," There should be three small bottles in here, not two. This is no use to me without the third bottle."
"The third bottle is on my ship," said the pirate. "You may have it when I get the information I need."
For the third time the Witch mixed up her green paste. This time the bird was a very large seabird. LP did not know what kind. The world seemed to stand still for a minute then the Witch disappeared. This time though LP managed to hear the words the Witch muttered. "Out of me, into you."
Once again LP collected what was left of the paste. Her jar now was full but she had no idea of what she was going to do with it. Even if she managed to change into something she could still not leave unless the Witch came with her.
Next day the pirate returned and was told of a safe beach where he could mend his ship. He handed over the third bottle and left.
The Witch actually skipped back into the Cottage clutching the bottle. She put it in the wooden box with the others. "Idiot" she muttered. These three bottles are worth more to me than all the treasure that man has ever stolen"
LP was brave enough to ask "Why?"
"On their own, nothing, but mixed together, drop for drop, they make a poison so strong it can kill an elephant."
LP did not know what an elephant was, but she assumed it was big and hard to kill.
"Now these must be kept cool and dark. If they get too hot, then they are useless." The Witch took the box and put it in a dark corner as far away from the fire place as possible. "Under no circumstances must you move that box from there!" she warned LP.
A month went by before there was another visitor. LP could think of no way in which she could escape. She told Doll every night before going to sleep. "We will go home soon!" This time the visitor looked very much like one of the stall holders at the Town Market. LP listened and watched.
"We have a shipment of fine wine and cloth due to arrive tomorrow. The King has doubled the taxes on them, again." he said.
The Witch laughed. "What difference does it make how much tax the King demands, you smugglers never pay it anyway."
The man nodded and went on. "Trouble is that he has set his Foresters the task of catching us and they know the Forest paths and roads better even than we do."
"So what do you want from me?" asked the Witch.
"We need someone to lead them down to the south end of the Forest while we bring the goods in to the North. It has to be tomorrow night"
"That will not be easy, the Foresters are a very suspicious lot. They are only going to believe on of their own."
"True, but can you do it?"
"Oh, certainly" replied the Witch. "But what payment are you offering?"
The smuggler pulled out a piece of cloth, about the size of a small table cloth. He swirled it round. LP found it very hard to look at it. The man put it over his head and LP found herself looking at what appeared to be a pair of legs with no body above them. It was as if someone had cut the man off at the waist. The Witch snatched at the cloth and the man reappeared.
"There is a whole roll of this cloth for you if we manage to get through. I am sure you could find a use for something that made you almost invisible" The man sounded very pleased with himself.
The Witch nodded. "Invisibility spells are not easy to do, even for me. But how do I know I can trust you to deliver the cloth? Hmmm, let me see." The Witch walked about the room.
"You have my word!" said the man.
The Witch sniffed. For once LP agreed with her. From what she could see of the man, she would not trust him an inch either. "Aha! I have it." The Witch took a box out of her pocket and blew a pinch of the contents at the man. He backed away but could not help sniffing in some of the powder. He sneezed.
"Now!" said the Witch. "If you do not return with my cloth within two days, you will die.
The man looked rather frightened.
"And I think I shall keep this piece, just in case,” finished the Witch.
The man stumbled out of the Cottage.
The Witch closed the door and put the piece of cloth on the back of a chair. It was hard to see either chair back or cloth.
Once again the Witch made the green paste. Then she went outside. When she returned LP was horrified to see that this time it was not a poor bird that was floating behind her, rather it was a human being, in the uniform of the King’s Foresters. LP was even more upset when she realised that she knew this Forester. It was her brother Flick!
Chapter 4
L
P did not know what to do, but before she had time to decide the Witch muttered and went out of the Cottage. LP heard her say "Drat, I forgot his horse. They will not believe him if he turns up on foot."
LP made a quick decision. She grabbed Doll from her pillow and the jar of green paste that she had saved. She ran into the kitchen. As she went she smeared the green paste on to Doll’s face and mouth, as she had seen the Witch do to the birds. She ran over and poked Flick, but he just stared straight ahead. Then there was just time to get under the cloth as the Witch came back into the room. The cloth was so fine that LP could see everything that the Witch did.Green paste was smeared on Flick’s face. The Witch concentrated scowling fiercely as she worked. She was so busy she did not even notice LP creep quietly up to stand next to Flick as he floated in front of the Witch. As she said the words, "Out of Me. Into you!" LP thrust Doll between the Witch’s pointing finger and Flick and closed her eyes. She did not want to see what happened.
The world seemed to stand still for a minute. Doll grew suddenly very heavy and LP had to drop her. She opened her eyes. Flick was no longer floating above the ground, he was sat on the floor looking rather puzzled. Doll lay on the floor, but most importantly, on the table was a gold chain with a jewel attached to it.
LP dashed across to the table and picked up the chain and hung it round her neck. Next she picked up Doll and tucked it into her apron pocket. The feel of the doll made her shudder, but she ignored the feeling.
Next she ran to Flick and flung her arms round him.
"LP," he said, and hugged her fiercely. "But where, I mean what. I mean?"
"I will explain later, said LP, but first we have a few things to do."
She took him to where the bag with the toadstool in, was hanging from a rafter, well out of her reach. Puzzled, he handed it down to her. She undid the string and spilled the contents on to the floor. They watched in amazement as the toadstools slowly sank into the floorboards. They did not know it, but at that moment a long way away in the Palace, the Princess who had been having the most awful nightmares for weeks, gave a little sigh, turned over and went to sleep properly.
Next LP made Flick drag the box with the three bottles in over to the fire. They opened the bottles one at a time and poured the fine powder from each onto the flames. Each burned fiercely for a few seconds. The fire went out as the powder from the final bottle burned away.
Next they took down the sealed jar and opened it up. The contents they poured down the Well in the garden. For a few moments the water fizzed then settled down to its normal stillness. As they watched there was a strange creaking noise from behind them. They turned and watched as the Witches Cottage began to fall down. It went slowly at first then faster until there was nothing left, but a heap of rubble.
All the time LP was explaining to Flick what had been going on. She talked so fast that he could hardly understand half of it. Finally LP said. "We must leave now before anything else happens, but I may not be able to come with you. The Witch said I could only leave if she came with me. But no matter what you must go and tell the Foresters that the Smugglers are bringing their things in along the North Road tomorrow night."
Flick wanted to argue, but LP would not let him. He took hold of the reins of his horse and LP’s hand in the other. They walked towards the garden gate. Flick opened it and holding her breath and with her eyes tight shut LP walked through and out into the Forest.
There is little else to tell. The scenes when LP arrived at the Farm were all that you would expect. Flick gained much praise for helping catch a band of smugglers. A well known shopkeeper in the town died suddenly for no apparent reason. Rumours spread that here was no longer a Wicked Witch in the Dark Forest, though the place was still dangerous.
LP lived happily ever after. Wherever she went she always wore a golden chain with a jewel on it and Doll went with her.
Things Just Disappeared
Chapter 1
Things just disappeared
K
ing Oswy turned over in bed and shivered. He felt remarkably cold. Without opening his eyes he felt round for the sheets and blankets thinking that they had somehow slipped off in the night. No, they were still in place, nicely wrapped round him. Puzzled he opened his eyes. It was summer and his bedroom should not be cold. He stared upwards and thought to himself that he had no right to be cold on such a beautiful, clear summer's morning. Looking up there was not a cloud to be seen in the clear blue sky.
Then he gasped. He should not be able to see the sky. He was in bed, in his bedroom, in the Palace. The Palace had a roof that hid the sky. That is to say, that it used to have a roof. Quickly he got up, put on his dressing gown and ran along the corridors and into every room until he finally finished up in the throne room. To his horror, he found no sign of a roof in any of the rooms. He dashed out into the garden and looked at the Palace. Not one slate, rafter, chimney pot was left. It had all disappeared. The sparrows which usually nested in the chimney stacks were flying about chirping their distress.
Oswy fainted. Of course, his panicked running about had raised all the members of the royal household. They too can running out and stared horrified at the roofless Palace and the unconscious king.
Now, if you think that waking up to find your roof had disappeared while you were asleep, was the worst possible thing that could happen then you will feel more sorry for King Oswy than for Prince Hildebrand. He ruled the neighbouring country. He woke early the same morning because he felt a draught. If there was anything in the whole world that Hildebrand hated it was a draught. He had spent a fortune making his Palace draught proof, with cavity wall insulation and double glazing. He claimed it was the most draught proof building in the world.
Now, lying in his bed, he felt a definite draught. It was not to be put up with. If it continued for any length of time he may well catch a chill. He opened his mouth to shout for a footman to find the source of the breath of wind and deal with it. He opened his eyes and looked around him. Instead of the beautiful wallpaper that had been especially made for him, he could see straight out into the gardens. Twisting round in bed he looked the other way. There he could see the Forest that stretched away in the distance behind his Palace.
He began to throw off the sheets to get out of bed. Then, he remembered. Since the Palace was so well insulated and draught free, he did not need to wear pyjamas. If he could see out into the garden, then people could see in to his bedroom. I would never do for people to see their ruler in his birthday suit.
He looked up at the ceiling and wondered what he was going to do. Suddenly it dawned on him that the ceiling was still there. That decided him. He did not care who saw him. He was not going to stay under a ceiling that had no walls to hold it up. He dashed into his fortunately large wardrobe and began throwing on clothes, all the while shouting for his servants to come. The noise brought them from their beds. They too did not feel safe under a ceiling without any walls. Very quickly all the Palace occupants were stood outside gazing at the rather odd sight of a roof floating in mid air.
Count Robert was perhaps a little more fortunate than either King Oswy or Prince Hildebrand. When he awoke he still had a roof over his head and walls to keep it up. What woke him was the silence. Normally he was awakened every morning by the sound he loved the best, the sound of happy birds singing in his gardens.
Robert’s gardens were not only his pride and joy, they were famous through all the countries around. His flowers were grown to perfection. The lawns were perfectly flat and as green as grass can ever be. His vegetables were all prize-winning specimens and fruit from his orchard was as delicious as any fruit can ever be.
The Garden was not only loved by human beings, but also a haven for the birds which spent their day there, doing whatever it is that birds do in the day. It was their singing that normally woke Count Robert. He used to lie in bed and listen to their happy twittering and chirping. Not this morning, though, there was total silence.
Robert thought it was strange and wondered if there was a cat in the garden or something. He got out of bed and went to the big picture window in his bedroom. He had had this fitted so he could admire his gardens as he got dressed in the morning. He had to pinch himself to make sure that he was awake and not having some hideous nightmare. The Garden in front of the Castle had completely gone, all of it. There was nothing there but brown earth, no flowers, no trees, no shrubs, no green grass, no summer house, no Pergola, nothing but bare empty soil stretched out before him.
For a few minutes he was too horrified to move then, he ran to the back of the Castle. The Gardens there had gone too, all his lovely Fruit trees and rows of vegetables had completely vanished. On every side of the Castle it was the same, just bare soil, not a plant not even a weed was there to be seen He went down on his knees and began to sob.
Duke Simon had a very uncomfortable awakening. His hobby was collecting furniture, not just any old stuff, he collected only the very best. Craftsmen from every country round the Dukedom were flattered to be asked to make a piece of furniture for the Duke as it meant that they were considered to amongst the finest makers in the world.
The Duke’s awakening was unpleasant because of the position in which he found himself. He awoke feeling very stiff and sore. He felt as if he had been sleeping on the floor, instead of on his super soft, pure down, luxury, double quilted, guaranteed comfortable, mattress.
He swung his legs round to sit on the edge of the bed, ready to slip his feet into his slippers. To his horror, he discovered that he was, indeed, lying on the floor. Both the mattress and the superbly crafted bed had gone. From the floor he gazed round the room, it was completely bare, not a cupboard, dressing table, wardrobe, not a stick of furniture in sight. He leapt up and raced into his dressing room next door. It too was empty, except for his clothes, neatly piled on the floor. As he ran from room to room he discovered that it was the same all over the place, every piece of furniture had gone. Duke Simon lost his temper.
The poor servants of each of these rulers had a terrible time. Firstly, they were blamed for the losses. Secondly, they had to go round finding new roofs, new walls, new plants and new furniture.
Since news of such great misfortunes as these spreads very quickly, it was not long before each of the victims found out about the others. Exactly one week after their horrible experiences, the four rulers met to discuss their losses.
They had to meet in Duke Robert’s castle because while the view was rather dreary, at least he had a roof, walls and something to sit on.
Not one of them had even the faintest idea of what had caused the disappearances and even less what to do about getting their possessions returned to them, if indeed it was even possible to do such a thing.
They argued this way and that, but in the end the decided that the only thing they could do was to offer a reward to the person who could solve the problem for them.
Oswy offered a Castle and some land. Hildebrand was to decorate and draught proof it, Robert would design and plant up the gardens and Simon would provide the furniture. The proclamation was put in all the newspapers and magazines. Then, they sat back and waited for the results.
The proclamation ought to have sent all the Princes and knights and adventurers from all the surrounding countries, rushing to search. However, unfortunately for the four sad men, the week before King Bertram of Moronia had also issued a Proclamation. His beloved daughter, Princess Lucy, had disappeared. This terrible thing had happened right in the middle of her eighteenth birthday ball. Her hand in marriage was being offered to the person who returned her safely to her grieving parents.
Most would be heroes had set off to search for her. Only those who did not want, or already had, a wife were left behind. One of these was Prince Rupert of Arconia.
He did not really want a wife just yet. There were lots of things he wanted to do before he settled down, but he felt sorry for King Bertram and a little guilty. He had been the last person to see Princess Lucy at her party. In fact, he had been dancing with her just before it happened. He was not very good at dancing and had trodden on the hem of her dress and ripped it. He was on his knees trying to pin it up for her when she had disappeared in a puff of mist, leaving him holding a piece of her hem and the safety pin.
It had taken him a week to persuade King Bertram that he had nothing to do with the disappearance. The King had released him on condition that he went and looked for the Princess.
Over breakfast before he set out, he read the Proclamation from the four rulers. Now he did not really need a decorated, furnished Castle with well laid out gardens either. However, as the youngest son, he was not going to get much when his father died either. Anyway, he liked to travel and there was a lot of the world he had yet to see. A castle would also be useful as a place from which to start out and return. Either quest would mean that he was doing the thing he liked he enjoyed most and he did not have to decide which quest he would go on. He could go on both and enjoy himself and see what he found first.
The difficulty was that he had no idea which way to go. To the East were the mountains. They were full of nasty bandits, fully capable of stealing a princess, or anything else for that matter. Mind, they usually left some sign that they had been around, like dead bodies and things. They also would probably have left a ransom note for the Princess too.
To the South was the Dark Forest, the home of many horrible creatures, but especially the Witch. She definitely could steal the Princess and bits of buildings without any trouble whatsoever. Rupert did not like the thought of meeting her. She had a nasty habit of turning Princes into frogs or toads, depending on the mood she was in at the time.
To the West lay The Wild Sea, rough and dangerous and full of unknown reefs and strong currents. There were rumoured to be Pirates too. Rupert was not a very good sailor. Before one reached the Sea there was the Sand Waste. Rupert had never like beaches, even as a child. He always got some in his eyes
To the North lay the frozen wastes of the Icy Desert. That was supposed to be the home of the Ice Wizard.
Rupert could not make a decision. None of the directions seemed very welcoming. He had to choose though, King Bertram was sat watching him from the other end of the breakfast table. Rupert took out the piece of ball gown. He would let that decide. He threw it into the air. It floated down to the North. That settled it, the Icy Desert it would have to be.
He picked up the piece of cloth and announced his decision. He was given some warm clothes and food and off he set.
The journey through the lands to the North was really very pleasant. All the rulers were friendly and made him welcome. They all knew about the Quests. Their own sons, if they had them, had gone searching, or other visitors had told them. Most had read about it anyway in the Newspapers. None of them could help though. They know no more than Rupert about any of the disappearances. As one Count remarked over lunch, "A new palace with lovely gardens would soon be noticed. You mark my words, it will be very well hidden where ever it is. And as for the Princess, she could be anywhere."
However, before long the pleasant hills and welcoming Castles gave way to cold moorland with few people and even fewer places to stop. Rupert did not hang about. He rode on. Soon even the moors were gone and he rode out onto the snowy wastes of the Icy Desert.
Each time Rupert was unsure of the direction to take, he threw the piece of cloth into the air and watched it drift to the ground. It seemed as good a way of deciding as any. It led him consistently North, as far as he could tell and deeper into the Icy Desert.
Just as he was beginning to wonder if he should turn round before he got so far into the Desert that he would have to camp for the night, he saw what appeared to be a castle in the distance. The closer he got to it, the more it did look like a castle, but one made of ice rather than stone. He rode right round the walls. There was a sort of shelter that was big enough for his horse to stand in, out of the cold wind. Rupert could see neither doors nor even any windows. Leaving his horse in the shelter, Rupert set out to walk round the walls.
Looking at them closely for some signs of a way in, he noticed that there were snow covered ledges going in a spiral round the walls. He cleared the snow from the first one. It was just wide enough for him to stand on. The next one was only a stride away and a little higher, so he cleared the snow from that. Soon he found himself high up the Castle wall. To his horror he realised that there were no more ledges. He turned to go back down and was even more horrified to discover that the ones he had so carefully cleared of snow, had all disappeared too.
Panic began to set in. It was a long way down to the snow and the wind was getting stronger. Carefully he examined the Castle wall He gave it an experimental tap. It sounded hollow. So, he banged on it again. It really did sound hollow. So, he banged on it as hard as he could. The wall swung open, fortunately for him, inwards. If it had opened out it would have pushed him off the ledge. With a sigh of relief Rupert entered the passage way that stretched out before him. He gave a nervous jump as the door behind him slammed shut. Like it or not he was now well and truly inside this Ice Castle.
Chapter Two
Inside the Ice Wizard’s Castle
R
upert had little choice but to follow the passage way, deeper into the Castle. He felt as if he was walking down a gentle slope and following the walls of the Castle. He arrived, eventually, at another door. Before he could decide what to do, it was flung open and a booming voice cried. "Well, don’t just stand there, come in, come in." Rupert did as he was told. He found himself in a large, well-lit room. At the far end was a fireplace, stood with his hands behind his back, in front of the fire was a tall, white bearded, white haired, white robed man.
"Don’t be shy, my boy. Come and say ‘Hello’. I won’t bite you."
Rupert thought he heard a quiet voice just behind him say "Yet!" When he looked round there was no-one there. With a nervous cough Rupert walked down the room. The tall man thrust out a hand and Rupert found himself shaking it. "Derek, Ice Wizard, don’t you know!" boomed the man, "And you are?"
"Rupert of Moronia," replied Rupert. Now that he was close to the fireplace he could see that the logs on it were made of ice and even more puzzling was that while they appeared to be burning like wooden logs, there was no heat coming from them.
"Welcome to my humble Castle. You have arrived just in time for Dinner. My daughter will be with us in a moment, then we can go through."
"My horse is still out there," said Rupert.
"No worry, he has been brought in and is in my stables with plenty of good hay and company." The man had a loud voice.
Behind Rupert the door opened again and a small girl came in. She walked slowly down the room, past Rupert and went to stand next to the Wizard.
"This is my daughter, Ceren," said the Wizard in a much softer voice. "Say ‘Hello to Prince Rupert."
The little girl whispered, "Hello."
Rupert remembered his manners at last, bowed and said, "Pleased to you meet you, Ceren."
He did not think he had ever seen as sad a looking child as this little girl.
A gong sounded.
"Ah, good, Dinner. If you would like to follow me into the Dining room we can begin." The Wizard rubbed his hands together.
Rupert was led in to another room where there was a large table with a pure white tablecloth. It was set for three people. He sat and waited for the food to be served. He hoped it would not be iced soup or ice cream.
The door from what appeared to be the kitchens opened and a serving dish floated in to the room. Neither the Wizard, nor Ceren seemed surprised at this, so Rupert kept his astonishment to himself. As guest the dish floated across to him first. The lid was raised and Rupert was pleased to see steam rising from the inside of the dish. The meal was rather good, but Rupert found it very strange to be served by invisible, silent servants. As neither the Wizard, not Ceren spoke as they ate, Rupert also kept silent.
After dinner, the table was cleared by invisible hands.
"Now, you must be very tired after your long journey. I am sure you need to freshen up and we can talk after you have had a good nights sleep." The Wizard clapped his hands and Rupert found himself being gently but firmly led out of the room.
Next morning, he was awoken by a tray being placed on the bedside cabinet. Nothing was said, but the breakfast was good and hot. There was a set of clean clothes for him too, all pale colours, but warm and comfortable. He dressed and went down to the room where he had first met the Wizard. The little girl was there playing with a large Doll’s house. Rupert went over to her.
"Good morning" Rupert knelt down next to Ceren and watched her as she moved tiny figures around the tiny rooms. He could not help noticing just how sad she looked. She gave a great big sigh. Rather than look at her sad little face, Rupert examined the Doll’s house. It was exquisite. Every room was beautifully furnished with what looked like perfect miniatures of the best designed furniture money could buy. The walls of every room were exquisitely decorated. Round the outsides of the Doll’s house were magnificently laid out gardens, full of tiny plants. As he bent to take a closer look, Rupert thought that he caught the faintest scent of honeysuckle.
"This is a superb Doll’s House, "he said to Ceren.
She nodded. "My Daddy made it for me."
A large hand on his shoulder made him jump. "Morning, my boy. Sleep well?"
It was the Wizard. He did not wait for Rupert to answer, but went on. "I see you are looking at Ceren’s Doll’s House. You will be able to see it more clearly with this." He handed Rupert a large magnifying glass.Rupert took it and examined the toy carefully. Everything in it was perfect, even the little dolls looked as if they were real people. The flowers in the gardens looked as if they were real and still growing.
He looked again at the dolls. There were two figures in every room. Each of the male ones was different, but all of the females’ ones were exactly the same.
"May I?" He asked Ceren.
She nodded. Rupert picked up one of the female figures. He looked at it through the magnifying glass, then put it down again quickly. It was a perfect miniature of Princess Lucy. He picked up another, it was a perfect miniature Princess Lucy.
"Are they all....." He asked.
"Yes! And that is the challenge. You must decide which doll is the true Princess Lucy," smiled the wizard.
"And if I get it wrong?"
The Wizard replied. "There have been eleven young men who came before you. Not one of them got it right." He looked at the Doll’s House and sighed.
Rupert quickly counted the dolls. There were eleven. "And I could be number twelve?"
"’Fraid so," said the Wizard. "Still nothing ventured, nothing gained.!"
Rupert put down the Princess doll he was holding and walked up and down the room. How was he going to choose? They all looked exactly the same, even down to the expression on her face. Rupert knew that look, it was the one he had last seen as he bent down trying to pin up the tear in her ball gown. That gave him an idea and a little bit of hope.
He went back to the Doll’s House. "May I examine them all?" He asked.
"Of course,"
Rupert picked up each Princess doll in turn and used the magnifying glass to look at the hem of its ball gown. Sure enough on the fifth one he looked at there was a tiny piece missing. Still he went on and looked at all the others, just in case. It was the only one with a piece missing. To make absolutely certain Rupert looked at them all again. He was right, there was only one with a ripped dress.
Taking a deep breath, he said, "This one, "and tapped the fifth doll on the head, very gently.
For a second nothing happened, then there was a sudden rush of air and Rupert found himself at the centre of a whirlwind. When it cleared, the room was full of people. There was a crowd of young men, Princess Lucy, the Wizard and Ceren all talking at once. Rupert was the only silent one and so it was that he was the first to see the door at the end of the room open and tall, beautiful woman, dressed all in pale blue, enter. She looked as angry as Rupert had ever seen anyone look. She stood in the doorway without speaking, her left foot beating a sharp tattoo on the floor. Still the young men, Lucy, the Wizard and Ceren continued to wave their arms and gabble at each other.
The woman at the door made an odd gesture with the staff she held in her right hand. The room fell silent, though everyone still waved their arms and moved their lips for a second or two, until they realised they were making no noise.
Ceren was the first to react. "Mama!" she cried and raced down the room, arms outstretched. The woman caught the speeding figure in a warm embrace and was rewarded with a kiss and a fierce hug. By now everyone else had stopped and turned to look towards the door.
"My love!" said the Wizard and started towards her. Another quick gesture with her staff, stopped him in his tracks.
"Well!" said the woman. "Are you going to introduce me to these persons, or is that too much to expect?" She sounded very stern.
The Wizard looked flustered and rather nervous. "Princess, Princes, gentlemen. I have the honour to present my wife, The Ice Queen."
Princess Lucy curtsied and the young men bowed. They had heard many things about the Ice Queen and no-one wanted to upset her even more than she already appeared to be.
The Queen nodded gracefully to the people in the room and still carrying Ceren, who had her arms locked round her mother’s neck, walked down the room. She went up to the Wizard. "I think you owe all of us an explanation!"
The Wizard had the grace to blush. Everyone in the room gathered round. "Well, you see I was trying out a new spell and it sort of went a little wrong. It made everyone inside the Castle disappear except myself. Ceren was playing outside so it did not affect her. Try as I might I could not find a way to undo the spell. Ceren was obviously terribly upset, so I made her the Doll’s House while I worked on the spell."
The Ice Queen turned and looked at the Doll’s House. "Made a Dolls’ House?" she asked.
"Well, sort of, I did borrow some bits and pieces from various places," said the Wizard.
Rupert earned a frown from the Wizard when he choked back a laugh at the ‘bits and pieces’.
The Wizard continued. "Then I discovered that someone else had to break the spell. I brought Princess Lucy here in the hope that some hero would come and do the honours. These eleven gentlemen tried and failed. We were just beginning to wonder if anyone could do it when Prince Rupert here succeeded."
Rupert bowed to the Queen and the others.
Princess Lucy sniffed and said, "But why did it have to be him of all people?"
No one answered.
"You and I will discuss your failed spell making later,” said the Queen. "But now I think you had better return these ‘bits and pieces’ to their rightful owners. Then I am sure these young folks would be happier if they went home."
Princess Lucy looked down at her now rather grubby ball gown.
The Queen saw the glance and smiled. "I think I can find you something a little more suitable to wear for the journey home."
It was quite a jolly party that rode home from the Ice Desert. Well, jolly for most of them. Princess Lucy refused point blank to speak to Rupert and he realised that the reward for rescuing her was marriage.
When they arrived at Lucy’s parent’s palace, she made such a fuss about the reward that King Bertram begged Rupert to accept something else instead. Rupert was very pleased to do so. The owners of the ‘bits and pieces’ were very grateful to him for returning their property and true to their word they provided him with a beautifully furnished, decorated and garden Castle. It was just right for leaving to go travelling and even nicer for coming home to afterwards.
The reward Rupert asked for was simple. He got King Bertram to persuade Oswy, Hildebrand, Robert and Simon to have made the finest Doll’s house and gardens and to send it to Ceren. This was done and Rupert received a model of the Ice Wizard’s Castle in pure ice that never melted..
Wirl's End
Chapter 1
Introductions
W
irl's End was a small street in the poorest part of the town. There were only four houses, two on each side of the road. In front of each house was a small garden, just big enough for a few scruffy looking shrubs and a patch of weedy grass. None of the people who lived in these house seemed to be keen on gardening. The houses themselves were old. They appeared well looked after, but they all had that sad and tired air that you get from buildings that have been in place for far too long. The only people who used the road were the people who lived there.
The street did have a sign screwed to a post at the beginning of it, just outside number 1. It read 'Wirl's End (unadopted)'. This meant that the people who lived in the End were supposed to look after the roadway and pavement themselves and pay for repairs and such like. Since none of them spent any money on the road, it was in poor condition, the cobbles were muddy and in places loose.
The pavement was a little better as everyone did sweep it clean once a week. The state of the road did not matter as it did not lead anywhere. At the end of it was a wall. It was just an ordinary brick built wall, too high to climb over and topped with iron spikes to make it even harder for anyone to get over to the other side. It obviously was not a house wall as there were no windows, but there was a Door. The odd thing about this door was that of all the doors in the End, this was the only one that looked as if it had been recently painted. It was a really strong looking door, the kind that ought to lead somewhere important.
Aidan Keeper lived at number 1 with his mother. He was just a normal 11 year old. He played football with his friends, got dirty, scuffed his shoes, collected the usual scratches and cuts to his knees and elbows and tears to his clothes. His mother sighed and bathed the flesh wounds and sewed up the clothes. She worked very hard, long hours earning enough money to feed herself and her son. Aidan's father had disappeared before he was born. No-one knew where he was. Aidan sometimes got fed up with living in Wirl's End.
“None of my friends will come and play here,” he grumbled to his mother one day. “They say it makes them feel funny. Can't we move somewhere else?”
“This house was the only thing your father gave me. It was his father's and before that it was his grandfather's and so on as far back as anyone can remember. If it was good enough for them, then it is good enough for us. Besides we cannot afford it.”
On the other side of the road, at Number 2, lived Aidan's best friend of all. Her name was Miya Custos. She was a fairly standard girl of ten. She liked to play football and join in with Aidan's games, so she too suffered her share of injuries to self and clothes. Her mother sighed and bathed the flesh and sewed the rips. Miya's father was a sailor and away from home for much of the time. Her mother too had to work hard to bring in enough money to keep her and Miya fed and clothed.
She too grumbled to her mother about living in Wirl's End. She got much the same answer as Aidan. “Our family have lived here for as long as anyone can remember. If it was good enough for them then it is good enough for you,” her mother said.
Miya did have one passion. She loved to read. Every Saturday morning she went down to the Town Library and borrowed as many books as she was allowed to take out. She would read anything, but her favourite books were about witches and Wizards and Magic. It was through her that Aidan had finally learned to read after struggling for a long time. He too began to go to the Library with Miya. He liked adventure stories where the brave hero rescued the heroine from danger. They often sat and discussed what they would do if the things they read about happened to them.
“They never do though,” sighed Aidan.
At Number 3 right up against the Wall, lived old Mr. Warder. There did not seem to be anything special about him, he was just a very old man who walked with a stick. He was not very friendly. Aidan and Miya always said “Good morning” very politely to him if they saw him in the End, but he never spoke back. When Miya spoke to her mother about him, she was told “Oh, just ignore him, he is harmless. He is just old and crabby.”
Finally at Number 4, again right against the Wall, was Mrs. Turnkey. If anything she was older and more bad tempered than Mr. Warder. The children did not even attempt to speak to her. They just stopped what they were doing and kept well out of her way when she hobbled past, leaning heavily on a thick walking stick. When Aidan spoke to his mother about her, he was told “Just ignore her and keep out of her way. She is just old and in pain.”
Chapter 2
The Door
O
ne day Aidan and Miya were sat on Aidan's garden wall idly chatting about the books they had just got from the Library when Mrs. Turnkey went past and down the End to her house. She had obviously been shopping to judge by the way she carried her bag. As ever, before she went inside she went over to The Door and tried the handle. She was obviously satisfied that it was still closed and took her shopping into her house.
A few moments later, Mr. Warder came out of his house and went of towards the Town with an obviously empty shopping bag.
“Have you ever noticed that those two never go out shopping at the same time?” Miya commented.
Aidan looked puzzled.
Miya explained. “Mr. Warder only ever goes shopping when Mrs. Turnkey comes back, they never go out at the same time.”
Aidan thought for a few minutes and agreed. “You are right, but so what?”
“Nothing really, it just suddenly struck me, that's all” said Miya.
“I can tell you when you see them both together at the same time,” said Aidan a minute later.
It was Miya's turn to look puzzled.
“You go near The Door,” smiled Aidan. “Then they both appear at the same time.”
It was true. If anyone had the cheek to go near to The Door, both Mrs. Turnkey and Mr. Ward would come hobbling out of their houses as fast as their old legs could carry them, waving their walking sticks and shouting.
The mention of The Door brought them back to their favourite topic. Both of them were utterly fascinated by The Door. They spent hours wondering what was behind it and why the two old people were so determined to stop anyone from getting near it.
“I looked at all the maps of the town in the Library today,” said Miya
“And?” Aidan asked. They had tried to find the other side of the wall by going down all the streets near to Wirl's End without success.
“It is daft, but try as I might I could not find one that had Wirl's End on it.”
Aidan sat up. “What? On none of them?”
Miya nodded. “I looked at every map of the town, right from the earliest one they could find, up to the newest Street Map and we are not on any of them.”
“Always thought this street was the back of beyond, now I know it is,” muttered Aidan.
They sat and kicked their legs against the wall until Mr. Warder came back with a full shopping bag. They watched him go into his house after first going to The Door and trying the handle. He too seemed satisfied that it was still locked and went into his home.
“They always do that you know,” remarked Aidan. “Try the handle.”
Miya giggled. “I wonder what they would do if they found The Door open?”
“Oh, come on let's play ‘Rush The Door’,” said Aidan.
This used to be one of their favourite games. They started at their front gate and ran down the middle of the End towards The Door. The aim of the game was to see who could actually touch it and get away before the old people came out. They had both been in serious trouble from their mothers over this game and had been banned from playing it.
Miya was feeling rebellious. “Right! Me first.”
She sprinted down the middle of the road before Aidan could say anything. Miya reached the door going faster than Aidan had ever seen her run before. He thought he saw a flash of light and then to his complete astonishment, The Door flew open and Miya went headlong through it. The two old people came rushing out of their houses, but it was too late. The Door swung shut and Miya was nowhere to be seen. Aidan jumped off the wall and ran down the street.
For once the old people did not shout at him and threaten him with their sticks. Old Mrs. Turnkey looked to be trying to hold on to something. Aidan could just make out the outline of a figure. For an old man Mr. Warder moved very quickly. He ran into his house and came back with a large sack. With Mrs. Turnkey’s help he managed to get it over whatever it was that the old lady was holding. Aidan watched open mouthed. He did not know what to do. Once the 'thing' was safely in the sack and the end fastened, it stopped moving and lay on the ground. The two old people both blew a loud sigh.
Mrs. Turnkey said something to Mr. Warder. Aidan could not hear what it was. Then she grabbed the sack and dragged it up her path and into her house. The door slammed shut behind her. Both Aidan and Mr. Warder watched her go. Then, Mr. Warder turned and looked at Aidan. He used his index finger to call Aidan to him. Aidan felt his legs move him towards the old man. He did not really want to go that close to the man's walking stick, but he could not help himself.
However, Mr. Warder did not use his stick. He just looked at Aidan for a moment before saying, “How much do you care about your friend?”
“She is my best friend!” stated Aidan. “Why?”
Mr. Warder did not answer. He stood for a moment or two as if making up his mind. Then he sighed and said, “Follow me. “
He did not wait for Aidan to speak, but walked of into his house. Aidan followed. Inside Mr. Warder stopped and turned to Aidan. “You are going to have to go through The Door and rescue her. Neither me nor Mrs. Turnkey can do it. We are too old and besides, someone has to be here to catch whatever comes through when The Door is opened. When you get through The Door, you will have to find her and bring her back. Somewhere on the other side you will find something that looks like this.” He pointed to a Bell hanging from the wall with a speaking tube below it.
“Ring the bell and talk through the tube. If it is really you, I will open the Door for you and you friend. I will ask you your mother's name before I open The Door. Do you understand?”
Aidan swallowed nervously and nodded.
“Humph. Well, there is no time to lose. Your friend is probably in great danger. Come on.”
Mr. Warder grabbed a large sack from a table in the hall as they rushed past. He led Aidan to The Door. Mrs. Turnkey came out of her house and joined them.
Mr. Warder said “Right, now as soon as it is open, you run through. You might feel something rush past you, but whatever you do, do not stop.”
“But,” protested Aidan.
“No time for that,” said Mr. Warder. Your friend needs you.” He pushed Aidan to The Door and turned the handle. Aidan felt himself sucked in. As he had been warned he felt something go past. He had the strangest feeling of great joy from whatever it was, before he fell flat on his face. He heard the Door Close behind him.
Chapter 3
The Dark Forest
A
idan hauled himself to his feet and spit out the leaves that had managed to fill his mouth. He whirled round expecting to see The Door in a high brick wall. Instead he found himself looking at a high wooden fence. There was a Door set in it though. On either side of this Door was a tumbledown cottage. Neither of them looked as if anyone had lived in them for years. Slowly he turned round to look at where he had landed. He was in a small clearing in a Forest. The trees seemed to be leaning over and so it was quite shady and rather scary. There was no sign of Miya.
“Well, Aidan,” he muttered to himself. “You wanted an adventure where you rescued the fair maiden from awful danger and now you have got what you wanted.”
He went to the Cottage on the left side of the Door. He went in. The roof had long since rotted and the floor was covered in a deep layer of rotting leaves. They looked as if they had been there for years. Miya had not come in here. There was no sign of the bell which Mr. Warder had mentioned.
“That's not very good,” said Aidan. He felt a bit silly talking to himself like this, but somehow it felt better than the silence.
He went into the cottage on the right. If anything the leaves here were even deeper than in the first place. Miya had not been here either. Again, on the back wall there was no bell or any signs of a speaking tube.
“Crumbs, that makes it a bit hard” he said to the empty room.
He went back out into the clearing. There was a very overgrown track leading out of it. He went over and examined it. He could see that someone had used it recently. He hoped it was Miya, but as there was little point in stopping where he was, he started along the path. There were the remains of two other cottages, one on either side of the muddy track. He could not help thinking how much like Wirl's End it was, except abandoned.
The track went past the last cottage and became a path. It wound in and out of the trees, so to help him find his way back Aidan took out his penknife and carved a notch in the trees as he went along. He felt quite pleased with himself for thinking of it. He would not have felt quite so happy if he had looked back and seen that each notch he cut, disappeared as soon as he was out of sight.
The path eventually led to a wider one, almost a road. Aidan stood in the middle of it and wondered which way to go. The surface was hard packed soil and there were no signs of anyone having used it. Aidan stood and scratched his head.
Just then another person came out of the trees on the other side of the road. He did not see Aidan as he was busy carving a notch in the tree, just as Aidan had done. With that done he stepped into the road and scratched his head.
Aidan spoke. “Hello!”
The figure whirled round and looked rather frightened.
Aidan walked up to him, for indeed it was a young man. Aidan judged him to be a few years older than himself. “Hello!” Aidan repeated.
The young man swallowed nervously and said “Er, Hello. Er. You are not the Witch are you? “ Then, before Aidan could reply, he went on.” No, of course not, you are a boy, silly question. “
He seemed very, very frightened to Aidan.
At the mention of the word 'Witch' Aidan too began to worry. “Witch?” His voice went rather high pitched and it came out more of a squeak.
The young man nodded. “This is the Dark Forest where she lives and we are very close to her cottage.” He looked round at the trees and up and down the road. “I think it is that way, but I may have got turned round on that little path. He turned to point to where he had joined the road. The notch in the tree had gone. Aidan turned to look at his mark. It too had disappeared..
They both groaned.
Aidan remembered Miya. “You haven't seen a girl anywhere have you?” At the same time the young man said, “You haven't seen a girl anywhere have you?”
They stared at each other and tried again. “After you....No, after you...No, you first.” This could have gone on for a while, but they were interrupted by the arrival of a group of green clad horsemen.
The riders got down from their horses and two of them grabbed the boys by the shoulders. They were marched over to where the leader of the troupe was stood.
“Well now, what have we here? This is not the safest of places to be stood on the King's Highway arguing. The Witch's Cottage is not that far away you know.”
Both of them tried to explain at the same time.
The Horsemen's leader waved his hand to hush them. “You, you look the older, you begin.” He pointed to the young man. “And make it short. I am in a hurry. Your name first!”
The young man began. “My name is James, James Warder.”
Aidan's ears pricked up and he listened more carefully.
“I live in Scarrick. That's a village near to the Lost River.”
“I know it” said the Rider. “Go on.”
“My girlfriend and I were looking for where my family used to live and we got lost in the Forest and now she has disappeared. You have got to help me find her, please”
The Rider stopped James with a gesture. “All in good time.” He turned to Aidan. “Now you.”
Aidan began. “My name is Aidan Keeper.” He heard a gasp behind him from James. “I come from Wirl's End. My friend Miya is lost too.”
He did not get chance to say any more. At the words 'Wirl's End' the Rider reached down and lifted him up by the front of his shirt. “Where did you say?”
Dangling in mid air made Aidan very nervous. “Wirl's End!” he squeaked.
“That's where we were looking for,” exclaimed James.
“This is too much for me, said the Rider. “You pair had better come with me to the King's Palace. You have a lot of explaining to do.”
With that, they were hauled up behind a rider and at a word from the leader the troupe set off at a gallop down the track. Aidan was too busy clinging on to protest. When he did manage to open one eye he could see James holding on tight to another rider. Aidan felt better when he saw that James looked terrified and had his eyes shut too.
Chapter 4
The Palace
A
fter what seemed like hours and feeling very sick, Aidan was dumped like a sack of potatoes on to the floor. James was dropped next to him. He looked very dirty and rather pale faced.
“Stay there!” ordered the Rider. He handed his reins over to one of his men and strode off into the Palace. Aidan did not feel much like moving so he did as he was told. James obviously felt the same as he too stayed sitting on the floor, holding his head in his hands and moaning quietly. They did not have to wait for long. The Rider returned with four well-armed soldiers. Aidan and James were hauled up from the floor, roughly brushed down and then marched through the Palace until they reached the throne-room.
Aidan and James were none too gently made to bow to the man sitting on the throne.
He spoke. “So this is the pair who come from or who are going to World's End?”
“It is, sire” answered the Rider. I thought you had better deal with them yourself.”
The King nodded. “You, boy, your name?” He pointed at Aidan.
Aidan was a bit shocked to find himself talking to a real King. He stammered, “Aidan Keeper sir!”
The Rider poked him in the back and said “Sire!”
“Sire,” said Aidan.
“You say you come from World's End”?
“Wirl's End, sire.”
“Are you a Wizard, boy?” shouted the King.
Aidan stepped back. “No sire, I am just an ordinary boy. My mother says I have a bit of the devil in me sometimes.”
The whole Court gave a gasp
Aidan realised what he had said. “No, I mean. She says that because I do naughty things sometimes, nothing else. I'm not a wizard or anything, just a boy” Then he remembered why he had come through The Door. “And if it pleases your Majesty,” He remembered reading that in a book. “My friend Miya came through The Door before me and I was sent to find her.”
The King leant forward. “You came through The Door?”
Aidan nodded. “Yes, Sire. Please. Sire. I don't understand all this. I just came to find Miya.”
The King leant back. “If you are just an ordinary boy then you probably wouldn't know about it. “ He looked round. “Where's the Royal Historian, he can explain it to you.”
An old man came forward and bowed.
“Take this boy and tell him about World's End.” Then the King turned to James. “Now you had better explain yourself too.”
Aidan was firmly grasped by the elbow and led away by the old man. He would have liked to have listened to James, but there was no way he could escape the old man's grip.
In a quiet corner the old man began, “You understand none of this was written down at the time so it is just stories?”
Aidan nodded.
The old man went on, “A long time ago this world was plagued by a pair of brothers who were Wizards. They hated the sight of each other and fought all the time, using their magic against each other. Since neither could hurt the other it was the ordinary people who suffered the most. Somehow, no-one really knows who or how, it was discovered that there was one place on this world where it touched your world. A piece of stone was found nearby which had the words 'All Magic stops beyond the end of the World'. After much secret trial and error they found out that if someone went from our world to yours, someone had to come from your world to ours. The two worlds have to balance. Do you know what I mean?”
Aidan nodded. He had read about things like this.
“Anyway as luck or something would have it, there were two evil creatures in your world too. Somehow a swap was done and both worlds were saved. The Wall was built and two families from your world moved here to guard The Wall and two families moved to your world to do the same there. “
“That's what Mr. Warder and Mrs. Turnkey were doing then,” said Aidan. “But there were no guards on your side of The Wall when I came through. The cottages looked as if no-one had lived there for ages.”
The old man shook his head. “No, for some reason the families on this side suddenly ran away. We have been searching for them ever since to find out why and make them move back.” He looked over to where James was talking to the King. “That is the first person with his name that has ever been found. Ah, look they have finished and the King wants you.”
Aidan thanked the old man and went back to the throne.
“Well, at least now we know where to find the people who are supposed to be guarding the wall, thanks to this young man.” The King looked at Aidan. “I am still not sure whether you are a Wizard or not, so I am sending you to the one person who will know for sure, The Witch. “
James gasped.
The King held up a hand. “And if your friends were anywhere in the part of The Forest where you were found, then the chances are that she will have found them. My Foresters will take you to her cottage and then they will search for your friends. Now go and get yourselves cleaned up and have something to eat. There are quite a few hours before nightfall.”
Aidan and James were led away, cleaned, fed and once again found themselves riding behind a Forester out into the Dark Forest.
Chapter 5
The Witch
W
hen they reached the spot where Aidan and James had first met, the riders stopped and dismounted.
“Right, announced the leader, “This is as close as we are going to the Witch's Cottage. You can find your own way from here. Go through there.” He pointed to a barely visible path through the trees.
“But the King said to take us to the Witch's Cottage,” protested Aidan.
“Listen sonny.” The Forester put his face close to Aidan's. “King Edwy can give as many orders as he likes, but the last time one of my men went to the Witch's Cottage, she turned him into a crow. He is still flying around, up there somewhere. I am not going to take the risk.”
He stood up. “We will look for your lady friends. If we find them before dark we will take them to the Palace, then in the morning back to World's End. If you find them then, I suggest you go and wait for us there too. We will come looking for you tomorrow. Good luck!”
With that, he mounted his horse and before Aidan and James could protest, the whole troupe rode away.
“Great,” said Aidan.
“I am scared,” said James.
“Me too! Er, Is the Witch as bad as everyone seems to think?”
James nodded. “She is the reason why the guards moved away from World's End. They got more and more afraid of her. And now the King is going to make them move back again. It's all my fault 'cos I wanted to marry Verity Turnkey.”
He looked close to tears. Aidan turned away. He did not want to see James crying. To his astonishment he found that they were being closely watched by a pair of cats. One was large, grey and long haired, the other was smaller, short haired and black. Four green eyes stared at them, unblinking.
Aidan turned back and nudged James. “We are not alone,” he whispered. Then he turned back to look at the cats.
James stopped sniffing and stared back at the animals. The cats got up and came over and rubbed round the boys’ legs, miaowing and purring.
“They seem pleased to see us,” said Aidan. He stroked the black cat’s head. Then a thought struck him. “You know, in all the books I have read The Witch's always have cats. I wonder if these belong to her.”
James stopped stroking the grey cat, which immediately hissed at him. “She is supposed to have cats, from what I have been told.”
Aidan thought for a moment. “Well, perhaps if they go home we can follow them and find her Cottage.”
The black cat purred even louder.
“But,“ protested James, “Do we really want to see the Witch? I don't want to be turned into a crow or anything.”
The grey cat hissed.
“If the girls met the Witch then we HAVE to go and see her and take the risk. I'd rather be a crow than go home and explain to Miya's mother where she has gone.” Aidan shook his head at the thought of the row he would get into.
The black cat licked his hand.
James sighed. “I suppose so. I think I would rather be a crow than live without Verity.”
The grey cat purred.
“You would think these cats could understand every word we are saying,“ said Aidan.
The black cat purred.
“If they are the Witch's cats then they are probably magic too, said James.
The grey cat hissed.
Aidan bent down and feeling rather foolish said to the black cat, “Could you show us the way to the Witch's Cottage, please?”
The two cats got up and walked off into the trees. Aidan looked a James who shrugged his shoulders. They followed the cats.
They were led along a narrow path until they reached a thatched cottage set in a clearing. As they approached a flock of rooks flew up from the surrounding trees, making a terrible noise. There was no way anyone could sneak up on that Cottage.
The door opened and a tall dark haired woman came out. “Well now and what have we here?” She said.
“Are you the Witch?” Aidan blurted out. He had been expecting an old bent over, ugly, black clad female in a tall pointed hat. This woman did not look much older than his mother and she was not at all ugly and bent. She was dressed in a long tweed skirt and a white blouse and she definitely was not wearing any sort of hat at all.
“And who else do you think would come out of the Witch's Cottage?” The woman was much taller than Aidan.
“But, you are much too young and and..” Aidan struggled for a word. Pretty would not do so he settled for, “Handsome.”
“Flattery,” said the woman but she seemed pleased. “Yes, I am the Witch of the Dark Forest. I seem to be getting a lot of visitors today. Where have you too sprung from then?”
“If it pleases you ma’am.” Aidan liked the sound of that. “My name is Aidan and I come from Wirl's End.”
Before Aidan could carry on to ask about Miya and Verity, the Witch drew in a sharp breath through her teeth and pointed a finger at Aidan's chest. However, before she could begin to chant a spell, both cats flung themselves in between Aidan and her pointing finger. They hissed and yowled and fluffed themselves up until they were three times their normal size. James flung himself behind the nearest tree.
For what felt like an hour to Aidan the Witch continued to point at him. Then, to his immense relief, she lowered her finger. The cats still kept themselves between her and him though.
“You appear to have some friends. Answer quickly and honestly. Are you a Wizard?”
Aidan shook his head. “Everyone keeps asking me that. No, I am just an ordinary boy who happens to live in Wirl's End.”
The Witch peered at him. “Hmmm, we shall see. Stand very still, if you try anything I will turn you into a worm as quick as that,” She snapped her fingers. The cats hissed. Aidan jumped. “Cats or no cats,” finished the Witch.
She came towards Aidan. He stood still, hardly daring to breathe. The Witch took his head between her hands and muttered some words. She waited a second or two, then she dropped her hands. “You speak truly, you are just an ordinary man child. Lucky for you.”
Aidan sighed in relief.
The Witch turned towards where James was hiding. “But what about your timid friend? Is he from World's End?”
“No,“ said Aidan. “He just wants to go there. His family used to live in those Cottages by the Wall.”
The Witch made a curious gesture towards James, who came out from behind his tree and walked towards the Witch. Aidan could see that James did not want to, but that he could not help himself.
“So, you are one of those idiots who ran away from their job eh? Why?” The Witch sounded more curious than angry.
James stuttered “They, they were afraid to live so near to you. I'm sorry. It wasn't me, it was my grandparents.”
“Idiots. They were told long ago that as long as they lived in those Cottages, no Witch would ever harm them. It was an unbreakable oath made when we got rid of those unspeakable Wizards.” The Witch shook her head.
James blurted out, “Then, that must have been the Family Secret that was lost when Great Grandfather Custos died. This is wonderful news. Thank-you, thank-you.”
Aidan was more concerned with the missing girls than James' family secret. “Please, did you see two girls wandering around in your Forest?”
The Witch smiled and Aidan watching her closely, for the first time could see that this was not a nice person. The smile was full of spite.
“I may have, and then again I may not.” Then, she reached out and grabbed Aidan's ear. He squeaked. “Now tell me truly. When you came through the Door, did you feel something go the other way?”
“Ouch! Yes, it sort of went through me though, rather than past.”
“Hmmm. Did you sense any feelings from it?” The Witch carried on squeezing Aidan's ear.
“That hurts,” he protested.
The Witch pinched harder.
“It seemed to be feeling happy, but it also felt very, very evil,” managed Aidan.
The Witch seemed satisfied with that and let go. “Good, better in your world than mine!”
Aidan rubbed his ear and sniffed. He was pleased that he had not mentioned that Mr. Warder had managed to catch the 'thing', whatever it was.
“Please , what about Miya and Verity? Do you know where they are?”
The Witch laughed, not a pleasant laugh either. “Oh I am sure they are not so very far away from you, even now. You just need to look a bit harder. Now I have had enough of boys for one day. You may both leave, NOW. I have to go and see a King about getting those Guardians of the Wall sent back.”
Aidan and James had no choice, their legs carried them away from the Cottage and back to the road.
“I think we were very lucky there,” said James and sat down in the road.
Aidan agreed. “But we are still no nearer finding the girls and it is getting late.”
The touch of a furry body against his leg made him jump. He looked down, “Oh hello puss.”
The black cat had appeared and was winding itself round and between his feet. When he looked over at James, the grey cat was rubbing itself on James. “At least we still have these two.”
James stroked the grey cat. “I don't suppose you can remember where the Cottages are from here,” he asked. “Only I would feel much safer there, if the Witch cannot harm us when we are there.”
“'Fraid not, the notches I cut in the trees seem to have disappeared. I wish these cats could lead us there, like they did to the Witch's home.” To Aidan's astonishment the black cat purred and walked off towards the trees followed closely by the grey one.
When neither of the boys showed signs of following, the cats came back. The black one reached up and scratched Aidan's hand. Then it walked off again toward the trees.
James remarked. “I think it wants us to follow it. You really would think they understood everything we said.”
The grey cat purred.
“They did lead us to the Witch's Cottage, so I suppose we had better follow them this time too. I think we would be safer in the old Cottages than sat here,” said Aidan.
Sure enough the cats led the two boys through the trees and out into a clearing. At the far end they could see the four cottages and high wooden Wall.
Chapter 6
Explanations
T
he Cottage on the right of the door was the best preserved, so they went and made themselves as comfortable as they could on the leaves.
“This feels much safer,” said James. “But I wish we had found the girls. It is going dark and the Forest is even less safe at night.”
The pair of cats sat down and stared unblinking at the two boys.
“Right,” said Aidan. “You know, the Witch said that they were not very far away and that all we needed to do was look harder and I have an awful feeling that they are very very close.”
Both cats purred.
Aidan looked down at the animals. “Can you do a purr for yes and a hiss for no?”
Both cats purred.
“That could be just luck, “said James. “Our cat at home purrs whenever anyone speaks to it nicely.”
Both cats hissed.
Aidan ignored the interruption. “Are you really cats?”
The cats hissed.
Aidan asked. “Are you Miya and Verity?” He held his breath.
If anything the cats purred even louder than they had been doing before.
“Did the Witch do this to you?”
The cats purred and then growled.
Aidan turned to the black cat. “Are you Miya?”
It purred.
James shouted, “Then this must be my Verity.”
The grey cat purred.
Aidan did not know whether to feel pleased or not. “At least we have found them, but what do we do now?” He spoke to Miya cat. “Can you be turned back into a human being?”
Miya cat did not answer straight away, rather she appeared to be thinking. Then, she gave a quiet purr.
Aidan scratched his head. “Do you know how to change back to yourself?”
Miya cat gave a sad sounding hiss. Verity cat came over and licked Miya cat’s ear.
“This is great,” shouted James. He jumped up and strode around the cottage. “Her parents and mine did not want us to get married so we ran away and look what happens! And the King and the Witch have gone to fetch my parents and Verity’s and the others here. They are going to be furious and it is all my fault.” He sat down with his head in his hands. Verity cat went and sat next to him. Aidan could see that she felt as miserable as James, even her whiskers were drooping.
He did not feel much happier himself. “How am I going to explain this to your mother?” Miya cat did not answer.
“And what is worse I cannot get hold of Mr. Warder either,” Aidan got up and went over to the Wall. “There should be a bell hung up here and a speaking tube,” He ran his hands over the Wall, brushing off the thick layer of cobwebs and dust. “Ouch!” He looked at his hand, he had caught it on something sharp and given himself a nasty scratch.
“Great. That is all I need.” He wrapped the cut I his rather dirty handkerchief. Then he looked carefully at what had caught his hand. It was a hook sticking out of the Wall. Much more carefully this time, he cleaned the wall below it. Sure enough there, under the filth, was a speaking tube.
“Hey, James,” he shouted. “Come here. I have found the speaking tube.”
James got up and came across. “What’s a speaking tube then?”
Aidan explained as he brushed the leaves from the floor in the hope that the bell had merely fallen off the hook. All he found on the floor was a large flat stone.
“What are you looking for?” James wanted to know.
“There should be a bell hanging above the tube, so you can tell the person on the other side you want to talk to them.”
Verity cat which had been listening to this conversation and watching Aidan’s frantic floor searching, suddenly began to howl. The two boys clapped their hands to their ears. It was a very loud howl. Fortunately, Verity cat soon stopped.
“I wonder why she did that.” James said.
Miya cat went rushing over to Verity cat and the two stared into each other's eyes, tails wagging slightly. Miya cat itched her left ear and Verity cat licked her right front paw. Both of them waggled their whiskers and blinked.
Aidan whispered to James, “You would think they were talking to each other”
The cats finished their conversation and sat in front of the two boys, staring hard at them.
Slowly Aidan said. “I think they are trying to tell us something.”
Both cats purred.
“You know,” said James thoughtfully. “Verity had a bag with her when she stormed off on me in the Forest.”
Verity cat lifted a paw and showed five very sharp looking claws.
Hastily James added. “It was all my fault of course. I was just being silly and stubborn.”
Verity cat purred.
“She never said what was in the bag, exactly, except that it was her Family Secret.”
Verity cat purred.
“Does it matter now?” Aidan asked.
Verity cat purred.
James said, “If that means ‘Yes’, then it does matter. Hmmm. Verity, do you know where the bag is now?”
Verity cat purred.
James carried on with the questioning. “Is it somewhere out there in the Forest?”
Verity cat hissed.
“Have you still got it with you?”
Verity cat purred.
“What was in it?”
Verity cat spit and showed her claws.
“Sorry, sorry, yes/no questions. It is not easy you know.” James remarked.
With a sudden flash of inspiration, Aidan suddenly shouted, “Was it a BELL?”
Verity cat purred and purred and purred.
“Yes, but where is it now?” James wanted to know.
Verity cat held up her chin. James bent down. Beneath the long fur almost completely hidden was a cat collar. Dangling from the front of the collar was a tiny bell of the kind put on cats to stop them hunting.
“May I take it?” James asked.
Verity cat purred.
Very carefully James undid the bell from the collar and removed it from Verity cat’s neck. “Ouch!” He exclaimed and dropped it on the floor. “It is hot”
To the boys’ astonishment, the cat bell disappeared and was replaced by a much larger one.
Aidan pounced on it and lifted it up. “Great!” He shouted and waved it around. It did not ring. “Oh no!”
Verity cat trotted over to him and stood up on her hind legs and pawed at the Bell. Aidan turned it upside down. It was no wonder the Bell did not ring, it was stuffed full of handkerchiefs.
Verity Cat sat down and gave herself a good licking.
James laughed. “I’ll bet she did that so she could run away with it without being heard.”
Verity cat purred.
Aidan pulled the stuffing from the bell and hung it on the hook. He was about to ring it when he stopped. “You know, I am not sure I want to talk to Mr. Warder just yet, least ways not until we have figured out how to change these cats back to girls.”
James agreed and both cats too.
Aidan wandered up and down the room He thought better when he was moving. As he did he stubbed his toe on the flat stone that he had uncovered whilst searching for the Bell. After hopping around and saying some rude words under his breath, he bent and picked up the stone. “Stupid place to leave a stone.” He took it to the doorway and made to throw it out into the garden. The last rays of the sun were shining through the tree tops. They lit up the stone and Aidan realised that there were words written on it.
He took it out into the light and scraped off the dirt. The stone had obviously been broken at some time. Only two words remained. They read 'All Magic'. Aidan put the stone down and scratched his head. Those two words rang a bell. Then, he remembered. He gave whoop of joy that brought the others running out.
“Got it,“ Aidan shouted, still dancing round waving the stone over his head.
“What, what?” shouted James and the cats yowled.
Aidan calmed down. “The Royal Historian said that they had found a stone that said 'All Magic Stops Beyond the End of the World’. Don't you see, this is the end of YOUR world, so all we have to do is sent the girls into MY world and the magic stops and they change back!”
“Fabulous!” James was excited as Aidan and both cats were purring louder than ever before.
“Quick, hang the bell up and let’s see if Mr. Warder is there.” Aidan dashed into the cottage followed by the others. He gave the bell a good hard and set it jangling. He put his mouth to the speaking tube and shouted. “Mr. Warder, are you there?”
After a few seconds agonising wait an irritable voice echoed round the room “You don't have to shout, I'm not deaf. Who is it?”
Aidan recognised the voice straight away, “Mr. Warder, it's me, Aidan.”
There was a loud sniff from the speaking tube. “So you say. What is your mother's name?”
“Rosemary,” Aidan said quieter this time.
“About time too,” grumbled Mr. Warder. “This 'thing' is getting stronger by the minute. We won't be able to keep it in the sacks for very much longer. Have you found Miya?”
Aidan quickly explained about Miya's and Verity's problem.
Aidan could almost hear Mr. Warder thinking on the other side of the Wall before there was an answer. “Yes, if you send them through the Door, the magic will stop and they will return to their true selves.”
Aidan and James cheered.
Mr. Warder ignored the interruption. “But you do realise that if you can only send two people through, one for each of these 'things'.”
That stopped the cheering.
Mr. Warder had not finished. “And if the two you send here, ever try to go back, they will immediately change back into the form they have on that side of the Wall.”
That message really sobered them all up.
“And, you will have to be quick in deciding. These sacks are not as strong as they used to be. And we have been lucky so far, the Wizards on this side have not arrived yet to try and get through, but it won't take them much longer.”
“The girls have to go through, there is no choice really. We will have to stop here.” Aidan said.
James nodded sadly. “But I don't want to spend the rest of my life here when she is over there,” he said.
“Well, I do not want to spend the rest of my life here either. My mother needs me,“ said Aidan.
Both cats stayed still and silent.
“Right!” Aidan became all businesslike to cover his feelings. “He spoke into the tube again. “Do we need to do anything when the 'things' come through?”
“No, they will be too weak from the crossover to do anything for a few weeks and anyway once they are in that world they have very little power. Just stand well out of the way of the open door in case they try to grab on as they go through. Give us five minutes for Mrs. Turnkey and me to carry the sacks to the Door, then open it from your side. The magic will do the rest.” There was a sigh and Mr. Warder added, “We really are getting too old for this sort of thing you know. We should have retired long ago.”
That final comment gave Aidan an idea, but he said nothing for the moment. Despite Verity cat’s protests she and Miya were put in front of the Door. Aidan opened it carefully, keeping well out of the way. There was a faint 'whooshing' noise and Aidan thought he heard a faint cry of “Nooo!” The Door slammed shut and Miya cat and Verity Cat were no longer to be seen.
Aidan and James rushed back into the cottage. Aidan rang the bell.
For ages, there was no answer then Mr. Warder spoke. “All right, all right, no need to get excited. They arrived safely.”
Aidan heaved a sigh of relief.
Mr. Warder went on. “Mrs. Turnkey says that girl is the image of her when she was that age. And got the same name too. Verity Turnkey. Would you believe that?”
Aidan said,” There is a young man here called James Warder.”
Before he could go on Mr. Warder interrupted with a chuckle. “Well, well, well, the same name as me. This is wonderful.”
Aidan smiled to himself. “When you said you and Mrs. Turnkey were too old for the job, did you mean it?”
Mr. Warder replied. “Yes. We would love to be able to hand over the job to someone new, but there has been no answer from your side of the Wall for as long as we can remember.”
“That's because they all ran away from the Witch,” shouted James. “I am sorry. The King and the Witch have gone to bring them back.”
“Idiots!” Mr. Warder muttered.
Aidan carried on. “If you and Mrs. Turnkey do not mind camping out in the ruin of the cottages until they arrive I am sure this James would be very happy to take over your job on that side of the Wall,”
James' face lit up and he nodded enthusiastically. “I would rather not be here when my parents and Verity's do arrive to be honest. They were very angry with us before we ran away and now well..........” He shuddered.
There was silence from Mr. Warder's side of the Wall. Aidan crossed his fingers. The silence dragged on.
When Mr. Warder finally spoke, both Aidan and James jumped. “We think that is a very good idea. Give us an hour to collect our things and some food and blankets and we will swap over.”
Aidan and James cheered and danced round the room.
The hour was the longest the Aidan could ever remember, but eventually Miya's voice came over the speaking tube. “They are stood by the Door. Open it from your side as their hands are very full. And be quick. Mr. Warder says that the Wizards are very close by.”
Aidan and James raced to the Door and opened it. There was that faint 'whoosh” and Aidan found himself back in the familiar scene of Wirl's End. Miya and Verity came rushing up. Verity through her arms round James. Miya smiled at Aidan. “Welcome home!”
Aidan turned to James. “Welcome to Wirl’s End. “
The End (or the beginning!)
A Quick note!
There are many places with names like World’s End or ones that sound like that, but unless there are four old houses, a Wall with a Door and four families, called Keeper, Warder, Turnkey and Custos, then they are not the REAL World’s End.
Away With The Fairies?
I
t all happened a long time ago in summer. I should have written it down then, but I was too young and upset at what happened. Now that I am a lot older I am going to try to tell as much of it as I can remember. Some of the details may be wrong, but the story is accurate as I can make it.
I was walking through the garden admiring the flowers and listening to the birds and the insects going about their business and enjoying the warm sunshine. Please do not ask me how it happened I have only a vague idea. I was carrying my binoculars as I was going to take a closer look at an odd looking bird that had flown into the garden. Being somewhat clumsy I managed to drop them. They fell so that anyone or thing looking through them from the ground would have seen me, not closer too, but farther away. Try it for yourself, look through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars, if you do not believe me!
Anyway, perhaps something or someone WAS looking through the wrong end, for suddenly I was smallified. Yes, I know there is no such word, but that is what happened.
Fortunately, my clothes were reduced in size otherwise it could have been very embarrassing. How small was I? Well, as I stood there wondering what on earth had happened, a piece of pollen fell from a flower on to the path beside me and a bee the size of an eagle buzzed off. I had to cover my ears as the noise from its wings was deafening. The rush of air knocked me backwards and into an open flower.
When I finally managed to claw my way out I was covered from head to foot in bright yellow pollen. It was in my eyes, up my nose and in my mouth. Actually, it tasted rather nice. I can fully understand why pollen beetles love to eat it. However, it is not the best stuff to get up your nose as any hay fever sufferer will tell you. I freely confess it I came out of that flower spitting and sneezing. Disgusting, I know, but you would have done the same.
Before my eyes were clear I felt myself being held tightly. A voice as light as the touch of gossamer said, “Oh, you poor thing. Here let me help you.” A hand as gentle as a mouse’s kiss began brushing the pollen from my face.”
As the pollen fell out of my ears I heard the sound of giggling, like the sound of a distant music box. It stopped and a voice full of laughter said, “I am really sorry, but you really do look sooooo funny.” Then it went off into another fit of giggling.
A third voice chimed in, as sensible sounding as an old fashioned grandmother. “Do stop being silly, what is needed is a good dusting down.”
Then I felt myself being brushed off with the fluffy end of a dandelion seed. “There, that is much better than cuddling or giggling.”
Since my eyes, nose, mouth and ears were now free from pollen I was able to see, hear and smell my helpers. Stood in front of me were three perfectly formed females just a little smaller than myself. They were scented like the evening breeze from a bed of roses. I have already described their voices. I will try to describe them to you. No, I think it better for you not to know. I will only to say that they were all prettier than a spring morning. However, there was one very puzzling thing, each of them had a pair of wings.
The one with the dandelion duster turned me round to brush down my back. I heard her give a gasp.
“What?” I cried, thinking perhaps I had ripped my coat or worse still my trousers.
“He has no wings!” Duster exclaimed (I still think of her under the nickname I gave her then).
Cuddles and Giggles (as I named them) rushed round to join her. “Oh, the poor thing,” I heard Cuddles say.
I swung round to face them. “But I am a human being, we don't have wings.”
All three of them squealed and with a flap of their wings disappeared. I did not know what to do. However, before I could make a decision, Duster returned.
“Are you really a human bean?” She sounded very nervous.
I nodded.
“One of the giants?” She asked.
I looked down at myself and said, “Not any more I'm not.”
She nodded. “It's all right,” she called. The other two returned.
“What are we going to do with him? You know we are not supposed to let the Giants see us.” said Cuddles
“We will have to take him to the King and let him decide, “said Duster who seemed to be the most sensible one.
“Follow us,” she ordered and the three of them flew away.
Well, I did my best, but it is hard to keep up with flying things when you can only walk. Soon they were well out of sight and I had a stitch in my side. I sat down on a rock to rest and catch my breath. I was not there for long before they came back, full of apologies.
Cuddles gave me a hug and said. “We will walk with you. It will be a lot slower.”
We had not gone far when there was a tremendous thud on the path and a huge shadow went over the top of us, followed by another loud crash in the undergrowth alongside.
“Look out!” shouted Duster. “Froglets.”
Before she could explain there was another thud, shadow and crash.
Next to the path was a small cave between two boulders. “In there” I shouted and we dashed in. Not a moment too soon, a huge 'thing' landed at the entrance.
Duster screamed, “Oh, my foot, it is sat on my foot.”
“What is it?” I wanted to know.
“Froglets,” said Giggles. “They leave the pond at this time of year and go off into the fields.”
“Is that all? Frogs are not dangerous.” I scoffed.
“They may not be to giants, but they eat anything, including US.” Cuddles was bent down near Duster, trying to pull her leg out from under the froglet’s rear end.
Fortunately, I always carried pockets full of useful things. I fished in left hand pocket and found the small torch that I always carried. It lit up the dark cave nicely.
“Oooh, a small firefly!” exclaimed Giggles.
I did not try to explain.
At the back of the cave I found just what I was looking for, a nice long thorn. It was too heavy for me to lift on my own. I called over Giggles and Cuddles and explained what I wanted them to do. Together we lifted the sharp pointed piece of plant and with me at the front aiming it, we ran at the froglet.
It gave a squeal and leapt away. I think you would have jumped too, if you had a thorn jabbed in your bottom. Duster's foot was free, but it looked very swollen. She could not walk on it. Even when flying she looked to be in pain.
“Do not worry, it will be made better when we get home,” Cuddles whispered.
A little farther along the path became very narrow and we had to go in single file. Giggles, led the way with Duster following, I was next and Cuddles brought up the rear. Giggles kept turning round to make sure we were following.
Suddenly Duster shouted, “Look out.” It was too late. Where the path was at its narrowest a spider had built its web and Giggles had walked backwards into it. She was stuck fast.
Fortunately, the spider did not seem to be at home or perhaps it was busy eating another victim. Again the contents of my pockets came in very handy. I always carried a penknife that my Father had given me. It was one of those with lots of different blades. It even had a spike on it, My Father said that it was for getting Boy Scouts out of horses' hooves, but I think he was joking. The silk of the web was very tough, but my knife was new and still sharp. It did not take long to cut her free from the web. I also cut a length of the silk. It was really strong.
The rescue was done not a moment too soon. The spider arrived. It hissed when it saw us, but soon moved away when we threw stones at it. Giggles was shaken by being caught, but she was not badly hurt. There was a tear in her wing. She was more concerned with the sticky silk that clung to her hair and would not come out.
Duster said “You can wash it when we get home.” To me she added. “This is the trouble with walking rather than flying. We are not used to it.”
“I am not used to being this size, so there are things that are dangerous to me too. “ I said. “We will just have to be very careful.”
For the next few minutes nothing happened to interrupt our trek. Duster flew slightly above the ground next to me, telling me the names they had for all the flowers that we passed I could see that her foot was causing her a lot of pain. Giggles could not fly properly with her torn wing so she walked alongside me. She had quite lost her laughter. Cuddles led the way.
As we turned a bend in the path I could see a faint glistening, shimmering on the path ahead. Before I could shout a warning, Cuddles walked straight into it. She slid a few steps forwards before falling flat on her face. We ran to help her up. She was covered in a clear gooey slime.
“Don't touch it,” warned Duster. “It is very hard to get it off. We have to get her out quickly though. It will set solid soon.”
“What is it?”
“Giant slimer.” replied Duster as she ran forward.
I did not know what she meant until I saw a huge snail disappearing down the path.
It was no easy task to pull the fairy from the slime, especially as we were trying hard not to get the horrible sticky stuff on ourselves. In the end I managed to tie the spider silk rope round Cuddles ankle and between us we managed to drag her out backwards. She was covered from head to foot in goo. It was all we could do to get it off her face so that she could breathe. By the time we had managed that the rest of it had set solid. Cuddles could neither walk nor flap her wings to fly.
“How far is it to your home?” I asked.
“We are very close,” said Duster.
“Good. In that case I shall carry her.” We tied Cuddles to my back with the spider silk rope and set off again. She was not heavy fortunately.
Soon we reached the base of a plant. Duster pointed upwards. ”We live up there. I could fly up and get some help, but........” She hesitated.
“A problem?” I asked.
“We are not supposed to let ourselves be seen by humans. I do not know what the King will decide, but the fewer of my people who see you or you see the better. I am sorry, but those are the rules.”
“I understand. No matter. You fly on up and warn your people. Giggles and I will climb up with Cuddles.”
Duster leant over and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, as light as the touch of a single soap bubble. She flew off upwards.
The climb was not too bad. Small branches and leaves grew out of the main trunk and made a kind of stairway. It was a bit awkward with Cuddles on my back, but Giggles either pulled me up or pushed me from behind. In that way we arrived at a large flower bud. Giggles touched the side and a door opened. We went in.
The flower had been hollowed out to make a large room, large enough for a lot of fairies. However, at present there were just two, Duster and a male. He beckoned me to come to him. Giggles led me across the floor. I felt I ought to bow or something, but Cuddles fastened to my back made it a little difficult.
The King, whom I called Nuff, just to myself you understand, for want of a better name, spoke quietly to Duster. She came and undid the spider silk and she and Giggles carried Cuddles out of the room. I was left facing the King.
“So, you are a human?”
“Yes, sire.”
“We have a law that prohibits fairies and humans from seeing each other.”
I nodded.
“The penalty is Death for the Human.”
I did not like to ask how something as small as a fairy could manage to kill a human. We were so many hundreds of times bigger. I had a horrible feeling that it was possible.
The King had not finished.
“However, my daughters tell me that you have saved each of their lives this afternoon.”
“Duster, Cuddles and Giggles are Fairy princess?” I blurted out.
“They are indeed. Their names are Larkspur, Cornflower and Lily. And there is another law that says that a good deed must be repaid by a good deed. This means that you cannot be executed until each of my daughters has saved your life.” The King smiled.
I can remember the feeling of relief even now,
Larkspur, Cornflower and Lily came rushing into the room I was amazed to see that Larkspur no longer limped, Cornflower was cleaned of the slime and Lily's wing was whole again.
Cornflower flung her arms round her father. “Thank-you Daddy.”
Larkspur threw her arms round me. “Thank-you human.”
Lily danced round us laughing.
It was all too much for me, the climb up to the Fairy Hall had exhausted me. I sat down on the floor with a bump.
Larkspur helped me up. “Oh, we have been selfish. Quick Lily, get him something to make him better.”
A minute later, Lily thrust a cup into my hand and ordered, “Drink this.”
I did so. Even now I do not have the words to describe the feelings that came over me as I swallowed. All I can say is that in an instant I felt better than I had ever done before.
“What is this? I demanded.
“That is our Elf drink,” said King Adonis, which was his real name. “It cures just about everything.
“It also makes whites stay whiter in the wash too,” laughed Larkspur.
“There are Elves here too? “ I asked.
“Alas, no more. They disappeared more years ago than I care to think about, but we still have the recipe for their Elixir.
“Now, I am sorry, but we really must see if we can find a way to send you back. Only me and these three may see you without breaking the Law and it is getting late. Those out in the garden will have to come in soon.”
Between us we put together a harness with the spider silk rope. Now that the Princesses were fit they and the King, flew me back to where I had dropped the binoculars. When we arrived I discovered that the other fairies had turned them the correct way up, so, now, looking through them made everything look bigger.
Sadly I said, “Goodbye!” to my three princesses and stood in front of the eyepiece.
“You will return one day, “ said Larkspur. “You will see.”
I have never seen a fairy since that day. Oh, yes I tried. I have spent almost all my life since that day looking through microscopes in the hope that I would find one. I have become one of the world's experts on insects in the process. I have never told anyone about this before. Who would believe me? My parents did not. I was punished twice, once for hiding in the garden and not coming when called and once for lying about where I had been.
I know they are still out there in the garden. On a clear, still summer's evening I have heard the laughter as quiet as a far distant music box, felt the faint touch of a kiss on my cheek, as light as the brush of a piece of gossamer, felt the waft of a dandelion duster, as light as a mouse's kiss. Oh, yes, I know they are there, waiting to repay their debt.
Well, this is the day when I try for the final time to get ‘smallified.’ All my affairs are in order and instructions for what to do are in the top drawer of my desk.
This document was found on the Desk of Professor H...........the distinguished Entomologist, who disappeared without trace on Midsummer’s Day. He was last seen leaving his house carrying his binoculars as if he was going Bird watching. A search of the Gardens and surrounding fields, turned up nothing, except the binoculars lying upside down on the Garden path.
His housekeeper said that he was his normal self, but that he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Signed. Det. Sergeant P.......S......
The Castle With Hiccups
Chapter 1
T
he Castle definitely hiccupped. It did it once on Monday, twice on Tuesday and again on Wednesday. It was a heavy old Castle so it did not jump too far into the air, but it was enough to send the pots and pans crashing to the floor in the kitchens. The oddest thing of all was that while the Castle moved, the surrounding countryside stayed as still as it always had done. King Oswald was not happy about it. The Tuesday jump bounced him straight out of bed and on to the floor. Queen Jessamy was not pleased either. The Wednesday hiccup had made her drop a whole line of stitches on her knitting. Thomas the kitchen boy was not pleased. He was the one who had to pick up the pots and pans in the kitchen and put them back on the shelves.
To make matters worse, before and after each hiccup there was the most dreadful noise coming from somewhere deep below the Castle. The before noise sounded like, “Hoooooooo!” The after noise was “Eeeeeeeeeeee””
They were all very pleased when there was no movement on Thursday or Friday. Everyone heaved a sigh of relief and hoped that the problem had gone away.
On Saturday morning the Castle hiccupped once again. All the pots and pans jumped off the shelves and a few slates fell off the Castle roof. King Oswald was bounced right off the throne and on to the floor. His morning tea spilt all over the place. As King Oswald tried to stand he slipped in the spillage and sprained his ankle. He was not pleased and said some very unkinglike words.
He was even less pleased when the Castle staff refused to stay in the Castle for a moment longer. They packed their bags and went off down the hill into the nearby town. Only Henry the Butler, Bertram, a footman and Thomas the kitchen boy stayed behind. Henry stopped because he had not even noticed that the Castle had moved at all. It wobbled slightly for him all the time, especially after a few glasses of the King's best Port. Bertram stayed because he thought that being the only Footman in the Palace would lead to his promotion to Head Footman. Thomas stayed because he was told to by Mary, one of the chambermaids. “Someone has to keep an eye on the Princess,” she said. The Princess stayed because it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to her so far. King Oswald stayed because he could not walk and he refused to be seen being pushed through the streets in a wheelchair. Queen Jessamy stayed because the King stayed.
There were two other people left in the Castle, the Court Magician and Princess Jasmine's old nurse. The Magician had stayed because one of the hiccups had spilt a spell which he had been working on. The result was that the poor man had forgotten everything including who and where he was. He had wandered off somewhere in the Castle and no-one had managed to find him. Nurse stayed because she did not want to leave the Princess all on her own.
Thomas and the Princess enjoyed themselves making toast and omelettes for lunch which they served in the throne room.
“It's like picnicking inside,” said the Princess.
Saturday went with no further movement as did Sunday. Hopes were raised that the disturbances were finally over. They were dashed early on Monday morning when the Castle hiccupped once again. Pots and pans went crashing in the kitchen, more slates fell from the roof. As before there were the strange noises before and after.
Henry Butler had just served the Royal family’s breakfast and gone back to his Pantry. Breakfast was toast and boiled eggs made by Thomas and the Princess. As you would expect, the sudden movement of the Castle made the breakfast dishes fall off the table. Thomas was sent for to clean up the mess.
Whilst he was busy with the brush and dust pan he muttered to himself.
"I do not know why someone does not go and look in the Dungeons, " He did not mean to say it out loud but he did.
The King heard, "What did you say?"
Thomas looked up, "I said, this is upsetting Nurse's bunions, sire."
"No you didn't, you muttered something about the Dungeons. Come on, don't be shy, spit it out, say it again," ordered the King.
Thomas said, "Someone ought to look in the Dungeons. After all that is where the noise is coming from."
"Good idea, my boy. Send for the Field Marshal." King Oswald ordered.
The Field Marshal was sent for. The kingdom was only small and there was little call for a large army. There were, in fact, only fifteen soldiers in it and all of them part time soldiers too. The Field Marshall was also the local fishmonger when he was not soldiering. He arrived, red in the face wearing his apron and still carrying the large fish which he had been filleting when the summons had arrived.
He bowed low, "Sire?"
The smell of fish was quite overpowering and King Oswald who was not very fond of fish at the best of times, had to hold his nose. He waved the fishmonger/soldier to stand further away.
"Find your men and examine the Dungeons." That is what he said, but with his nose blocked it sounded more like, "Fide yer meb add examid the Dudgods."
The Field Marshal had a small problem. He was slightly deaf. This had happened when one of the soldiers had accidentally fired his pistol next to his head. Normally he managed very well lip reading what people said to him. Also, the King usually shouted his orders so there was no problem there either. The trouble was he could not see the King's lips moving and he was too far back to hear what King Oswald said and it is hard to shout when you are holding your nose. The poor Field Marshall had no idea what the king had said.
He did not like to ask the king to repeat the orders, so he saluted, "Yes, sire. Straight away sire," and left the room to try to make sense of what he thought he had heard.
It was obvious that the King wanted the soldiers to march round the Castle. The Field Marshal, like all the townspeople knew that there was a problem with the Castle, so he assumed he and his men were to examine the walls. He rounded up the soldiers and the marched round the Castle and found nothing unusual.
He reported back to the king that they had searched without success. He saluted and went of home proud to have done his duty.
King Oswald sent for Thomas. "I have had the Dungeons searched and nothing has been found."
"Oh, that's strange." Thomas said. "May I ask a question, sire?"
"Of course," replied the king, in a good mood.
"Why did the Field Marshall and his men search round the OUTSIDE of the Castle, when the Dungeons are below the cellars, INSIDE the Castle?"
King Oswald's good mood left him. "The Field Marshall is so deaf it is hard to get him to hear anything. He will have to go, but he does sell such good fish and the Queen likes fish." He thought for a moment. "I know, I'll send Bertram, the footman."
Bertram arrived and bowed low to the King. He was one of those people who was very keen to please, but he was also very nervous.
King Oswald shouted at him which made him even more nervous. "Go and search the Dungeons."
"Yes, sire, straight away sire, right now sire!" Bertram said, but did not actually go anywhere.
"Well, go!" Oswald snapped.
"Yes, sire I am going sire, now sire."
"GO!" screamed Oswald.
Bertram fled. For a few moments the room was quiet, then there was a quiet knock on the door. It opened slowly and Bertram's head appeared round it. "Please sire, if I may be so bold, may I take a candle with me?"
King Oswald snatched a candle from the candlestick on the fireplace and flung it at the door.
"Oh, thank you sire, thank you." Bertram picked up the candle and left closing the door quietly behind him. The room was quiet once more.
Then there was a quiet knock on the door which opened slowly once again. Bertram peered round the door. "If it please your majesty, may I light the candle?"
King Oswald screamed and snatched a tinderbox from the mantelpiece and threw it at Bertram.
The door closed again behind Bertram. King Oswald slumped on his throne and ground his teeth.
The door opened again. King Oswald took of his crown and flung it at the opening door as hard as he could.
"Have I upset you my dear?" Queen Jessamy asked, picking up the battered headgear. Oswald often threw his crown at the door, so he usually wore a very simple one which could be easily knocked back into shape.
Oswald apologised and the Queen pushed in a trolley with the tea things on it. She was quite enjoying herself with all the servants away.
The castle hiccupped again, spilling the royal couple’s tea all over the nice clean white cloth. Thomas came to clean up the mess. He was doing this when the door opened and Bertram came rushing in. He was so agitated he did not even bother to knock. He was white faced and trembling. There were cobwebs hanging from his hair and a dirty smut on his nose. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He closed his moth and tried again. No sound came out.
"Don't just stand there like a goldfish opening and closing your mouth, say something." King Oswald was never a very patient man.
Bertram tried again. "Sire, your Majesty, highness, I resign. Now" With that he turned and ran out of the room before anyone could say anything or stop him.
King Oswald shouted, “Come back here this instant," It was too late Bertram had gone. Thomas was sent after him, but he could not catch up with the fleeing man. He was last seen running as fast as he could out the Town.
"And we still don't know if there is anything in the Dungeons," complained King Oswald. "Who else is there to go and look?"
"Henry, the Butler is still here," said the Queen. "Why don't you ask him to go and look dear? He spends most of his time down in the cellars. He ought to know what is going on down there."
The butler arrived. He had been sampling the King's brandy, which was very strong stuff, when he had been summoned. He stood swaying gently in the doorway.
"You sent for me sire??"
King Oswald said, "Yes, Go down into the Dungeons and see if you can find out why the castle has got hiccups."
"Yes sire," Henry turned carefully and left the room. King Oswald and Queen Jessamy settled themselves down to a game of Patience. The Queen actually played the game and King Oswald interfered. Half an hour went past without the butler reappearing.
Henry had started out for the Dungeons, but on the way he had to pass through the Wine Cellars and as he was an old man, he felt he needed something to give him the strength to climb down the steep stairs to the Dungeons. One glass led to another, then it seemed a shame not to finish the bottle, so he did. By then he had forgotten why he had been sent and did not remember until he was halfway through the next bottle. He staggered to the top of the stairs and looked down. It looked awfully dark and steep. He decided that he had gone far enough. He returned to the throne room and stood wobbling in the doorway. When he spoke it was very slowly and carefully.
"Your Majesty, I looked at the Dun, hic, the dun, hic...........cellar and I could not see anything."
He turned and made a stately exit before collapsing in a heap in his Pantry.
Thomas put a pillow under the sleeping butler's head and went up stairs to the throne room.
King Oswald said, "Ah there you are my boy. Henry has looked in the Dungeons and found nothing."
"Sorry sire, " said Thomas, who was not a shy sort of person. "But Mr. Henry only went as far as the top of the steps. He did not actually go into the Dungeons themselves."
King Oswald was not amused. "He will have to go."
Queen Jessamy agreed. "But he has been the butler here for many, many years, we cannot just get rid of him."
"We'll think about that later," sighed the king. "Now who is going to look in the Dungeons for us?"
"I think I am the only one left, sire," said Thomas. "So it looks as if it will have to be me."
"Right" said the King, "Off you go then."
Thomas bowed and left the room. The only person who normally took much notice of Thomas other than the kitchen maid, was Princess Jasmine. She met him coming out of the throne room.
"Hello Thomas. What is happening?" She smiled at him.
"I am going down to the Dungeons to see if I can find out why the Castle is jumping up and down." He replied.
"Do you think there is something down there?”
Thomas shrugged his shoulders. "I do not know, but it seems possible."
"Well, do be careful, no-one has been down there for years, if ever. It is supposed to be haunted."
Thomas promised to be careful and opened the throne room door for her to go and join her parents.
Thomas lit a candle and walked slowly down the dusty, narrow steep stairs which led to the Dungeons. He wondered what had upset Bertram so much, It was obvious that the footman had been down the stairs. Thomas could see footprints in the dust. Thomas walked slowly, not because he was afraid, but he did not want to bang his head on the ceiling. That is what he told himself, not noticing that the ceiling was high above his head. The door at the bottom of the stairs was not only unlocked, it was open. The smell of fish and cabbages was very strong.
The door opened on to a corridor with rooms on one side of it. They would not have made very good cells, none of them seemed to have doors.
Thomas went into the first room. It was empty. He went into the second one and almost jumped out of his skin. There was someone in it. He backed out and stood in the corridor breathing deeply, working up the courage to go back in. However, the figure came out first and spoke.
"Excuse me, can you tell me who I am?"
It was the Court Magician. Thomas heaved a sigh of relief and told him.
"Thank you," replied the Magician. "Er, what did I just ask you?"
Thomas shook his head and told the Magician to go back up the stairs. The magician turned to go, but just stood at the bottom of the stairs looking up. He turned back to Thomas, "Where was I going?"
Thomas sighed, "Never mind, just sit on the stairs and I'll deal with you in a minute."
The magician sat down, muttering to himself. "What did he say my name was? He told me to do something, but I cannot remember what it was. I had better sit here on the stairs until he comes back. I wonder who he is. Who am I?" The poor man scratched his head and tried to remember.
Meanwhile Thomas was exploring further on in the Dungeons. Here the dust lay thick and undisturbed. Bertram had not come this far. He had probably seen or heard the magician and fled. All the cells appeared to be empty. Thomas was about to give up the search when he came to the last door of all, right at the end of the passageway. He tried the handle. It turned but the door would not open. It was locked. Thomas sniffed and caught a whiff of fish mixed in with rotting seaweed. It smelt like the beach did when you kicked over the piles of stuff thrown up by the high tide, after it has dried out in the sun for a few months. He put his ear to the keyhole and listened. A weird bubbling, gurgling sound came through. It sounded like the great kettle boiling away in the kitchen, mixed in with the snores of the cook who spent the afternoons sleeping in front of the fire.
There was nothing Thomas could do without the keys. He went back upstairs, taking the poor confused magician with him. He delivered the man to Princess Jasmine's old nurse who promised to look after him and to see that he came to no harm. For her it was like having a baby again. The poor man could not even remember how to feed himself. She sat him at the Nursery table and fed him with a spoon, after of course first fastening a bib round his neck. Nurse was happier than she had been for years.
Thomas went to see the King to report. Oswald was sat on his throne, with his damaged leg on a small stool. He was in a very bad mood still.
"Well?" he shouted as Thomas came in.
"I have looked in all the Dungeons except one and there is something in there, but the door is locked. I'll go and look if anyone knows where the keys are."
King Oswald frowned. "The Captain of the Guard usually has the keys, but when everyone went to the Summer Palace he gave them to me. There are a lot on the bunch so they should not that hard to find."
Thomas helped the king search the throne, but there was no sign of the keys. Thomas looked carefully round the throne room. He failed to find them.
The Queen came in with another tray of tea and biscuits. "Have you lost something dear?"
"The Castle keys," said King Oswald. "I remember Captain Smirke giving them to me, but we cannot find them now."
"You threw them at the Magician when he accidentally changed your breakfast egg into a bunch of flowers. He took them away with him." The Queen bustled about setting out the tea things.
"Oh dear," said Thomas. "That may be a bit of a problem. The Magician is still not himself yet. He probably won't be able to remember where he put them."
"Well fetch him here and we’ll ask him." King Oswald ordered.
The magician arrived with Nurse close behind.
He still looked very confused. "Who am I?" He asked.
King Oswald was still in a bad mood. He snapped at the poor man. "You are the Court Magician and you have got the Castle Keys!"
To everyone's astonishment the Magician burst into tears. Nurse came bustling forward. "Now there is no need to be nasty to the poor little lamb." She told the king.
Nurse was the only person of whom King Oswald was afraid. "No nurse, I mean yes nurse.
She led the sobbing Magician out of the room.
"Now what do we do,!" asked the king of no-one in particular.
"I'll go and search his room," said Thomas.
"I'll come and help." said Princess Jasmine.
"Good idea," said the king.
The two young people left the room and climbed the spiral staircase which led to the Magician's room at the top of one of the Castle towers. The walls were lined with shelves full of books and glass jars. The Magician was a tidy man and every jar was neatly labelled. They looked but nowhere could they see any keys.
"We need a spell to give him back his memory," said Princess Jasmine. "You see what it says on those boxes on the table and I'll look at the books."
"I cannot read," Thomas said very quietly.
Princess Jasmine stared at him in surprise.
"Kitchen boys do not go to school," Thomas told her.
"Never mind," she said sympathetically. "When this is all over I will teach you."
She picked up a book from the work table in the centre of the room. It was open at a page which read, 'A spell to make things clear.'
"This must be the spell he was working on when the Castle hiccupped" she said. She read down the page. She read out the last line. "To break the spell, Invert."
"What does 'Invert' mean?" asked Thomas.
"Er, turn upside down." Princess Jasmine replied. She picked up the glass beaker which had been next to the book. In it was a greenish liquid. "But if we turn it upside down it will fall out."
"Not if we put this over it," said Thomas and he put a piece of card over the top of the beaker and turned it upside down. Not a drop leaked out.
"Very clever," said Princess Jasmine. "But now what?"
They waited for a few moments. Nothing happened. She turned the beaker back the correct way up. Nothing happened.
"Perhaps you have to get it out while it is upside down," suggested Thomas. "We need to turn the beaker over without turning the liquid over."
"There must be a spell to do it." Princess Jasmine quickly looked through the book in her hand. "Here's one 'How to turn a container over.' Quickly she read through the instructions. She picked up the Magician's wand. "Here goes!" she said. "I hope this does not turn the whole Castle upside down.!"
She tapped the beaker and muttered some words. Thomas did not quite hear what they were, except the last one which was "Invert"
The beaker flipped it self over while the liquid in it stayed still. There was a flash of blue light and a puff off orange smoke and the liquid disappeared leaving a solitary white pill lying in the bottom of the beaker.
Thomas emptied it into his hand. "Well I hope this works. We had better give it to him as soon as possible or your father is going to be even angrier."
They ran down the stairs to the old Nursery. Nurse was giving the Magician his tea. This was a boiled egg with toast cut into soldiers to dip in the yolk. When he had finished they gave him the pill, washed down with the warm milk Nurse had prepared for him. For a second nothing happened, then he looked surprised, then puzzled, then he hiccupped and looked up. He asked, "What's going on?"
Thomas quickly told him.
"Ah, yes I remember now," said the man.
Princess Jasmine clapped her hands. "Oh, good. Now quickly where are the Castle Keys?"
"They are in the best place for them," smiled the Magician.
"Where?" asked Thomas, "We have looked everywhere we can think of."
"They are in the lock in the front door." replied the Magician.
They ran through the corridors to the huge front doors. Sure enough there in the lock was the bunch of keys. Thomas took it and carried it to the King.
The King and Queen were having their afternoon tea. Princess Jasmine was required to join them. The reason for needing the keys was forgotten for the moment as Thomas did the work of footman, cook, kitchen maid, and of course his own job.
By the time he had finished the washing up, he was too tired to go climbing down the Dungeon stairs so he tidied up the Kitchen and put away the pots and pans and went to bed. At least the Castle had not hiccupped and the strange Hooooooooo and Eeeeeeeee sounds had not been heard. The smell of fish and rotting seaweed was a bit stronger, but Thomas thought that was because he had left the door to the cellar open.
Next morning Thomas got up early and made the King's breakfast. He had to serve it himself as Mr. Henry was feeling a bit under the weather. Now King Oswald was not the most even tempered of men in a morning before he had had his breakfast, but this morning he was in an especially bad mood. Now that almost all the servants had gone, he had been forced to find his own clothes and dress himself. It was not easy with one leg heavily bandaged up. Now he was eating his breakfast wearing odd socks and with his shirt on inside out. He was not happy. Thomas did not think it was a good time to remind the monarch about the keys.
When Thomas had cleared the breakfast dishes he went in search of Princess Jasmine. If anyone could was going to be able to ask the king for the keys it was her.
Halfway up the stairs he heard "Hooooooooo," The Castle hiccuped. From the kitchen came the sound of crashing dishes. Thomas sighed. "More tidying up," he thought. Then, as usual, came the sound of "Eeeeeeeeee."
Thomas ran up the rest of the stairs and into the throne room Poor King Oswald was sat on the floor surrounded by the cushions from the throne. Thomas helped him back up and made him comfortable. He found the crown where it had rolled under a table.
"I thought you were supposed to be finding out why that happens," snapped the king.
"Yes sire," said Thomas carefully
The King glared at him. "Then why haven't you done it?"
"You did not give me the keys, Sire," Thomas replied.
"Idiot!" King Oswald threw the bunch of keys at Thomas. Thomas caught them with a flourish. He had not spent years dodging the pans thrown by the cook without becoming very nimble footed.
"Thank-you Sire," he said sweetly and left the room before the king could find something else to throw.
He ran down towards the Dungeons, passing the Nursery on the way. The Magician was peeping out through the door. He was dressed in a blue sailor suit which was far too small for him. Thomas slowed down. The Magician whispered, "Help, get me out of here."
Thomas whispered back, "What is the matter?"
"It is the nurse. She has hidden my clothes and she won't let me go. And I have to take Cod liver oil. Please save me." The Magician looked desperate.
From inside the nursery a voice called, "Lambkin, where are you. It is time for your cod liver oil. If you are a good boy you can have a sweetie." It was Nurse.
"The worst part is, I loathe the sweets and she insists I have one." The magician pulled a face and shuddered.
"Never mind," said Thomas. "I will find a way to rescue you after I have looked in the Dungeons."
Then the poor Magician was whisked back through the door and Thomas heard Nurse say, "You are a naughty boy hiding from Nursy-wursy like that. You shall have a double dose of Cod Liver oil and no sweet."
Thomas smiled and continued his downward journey. He reached the Dungeons without further delay. The smell of rotting seaweed and fish was even stronger.
He made his way to the locked door. He tried all the keys until the very last one fitted. The lock was very stiff and difficult to undo. The door too was stiff. It probably had not been opened for many years. Thomas stepped inside. He stopped in horror. In front of him was a large greenish, scaly leg which ended in sharp wicked looking claws at the floor and went up into the darkness of the ceiling. Thomas gulped and backed quickly out and closed the door very quietly. He fled back up the stairs. He forgot all about rescuing the poor Magician.
Chapter 2
I
t was a long way from the Dungeons to the throne room and Thomas was very much out of breath when he arrived, so he could only stand and gasp when he went in. King Oswald stared at him.
After several deep gulps Thomas at last could speak. "Sire, I beg to report, there is a Dragon in the Dungeons."
"Very good Thom.......................WHAT!" King Oswald sat up straight.
"A dragon, Sire!" Thomas repeated.
"Are you sure?" The King asked.
Thomas described what he had seen.
"But this is terrible, "exclaimed the King. "What am I going to do. It will destroy the Castle and my kingdom. It might even eat me!" He slumped on the throne moaning quietly and wringing his hands.
Queen Jessamy, who had been sat quietly knitting came over and took charge, as she usually did when there was an emergency.
"Send for the Captain of the Guard" she ordered. Then quietly to Thomas she added, “The Field Marshall is not going to be much use I fear.”
Since there was no one else to do it, Thomas had to run down into the town to find the Captain.
By the time he arrived Oswald had recovered a little from his panic. "Ah, Captain Smirke, there appears to be a dragon in the Dungeons. Call out your men and deal with it, there's a good chap."
"Yes sire," The Captain of the guard saluted and half turned to go. He stopped and turned back. "Did you say Dragon sire?"
"Yes, I did," Oswald snapped. "Now jump to it, or whatever it is you military men do."
The Captain of the Guard did not jump to it. He stood still, obviously deep in thought, his lips moving slightly as if he was reading from something only he could see.
"Well, man what is it?" Oswald was getting impatient.
"I am very sorry, Sire, but my contract says that I am to defend the Kingdom from invasion by enemy soldiers. There is no mention of dealing with dragons."
"Are you refusing to fight the dragon?" Oswald asked.
"I am afraid so, sire," replied the soldier.
"You are removed from your command." Oswald was very angry.
"Thank-you!" said the ex Captain of the guard and left the room.
"Now what do we do?" Oswald asked plaintively.
"We issue a proclamation," said the Queen
"Saying what?"
"Whosoever rids the kingdom of the dragon will be rewarded with half the kingdom," she replied.
"Here, hang on minute. The place is not that big without giving half of it away," protested Oswald
"Then it has to be the other one then, " replied the Queen. "Whosoever rids the kingdom if the dragon shall be rewarded with the hand of the Princess Jessamy in marriage."
"That's better," said the King
He hobbled over to his desk and wrote out the proclamation. Thomas was sent to take it to the printers with orders for a hundred copies to be posted up in all the neighbouring kingdoms. Thomas, not being able to read did not know what the proclamation was about. When he returned to the Castle he met Princess Jessamy coming out of the throne room in tears.
"I do not want to marry someone just because they can use a sword and kill a dragon," she sniffed.
Thomas did not understand what she meant until she explained. He too was upset. He and the princess had been friends fro a long time. He did not want her to marry a stranger, unless she wanted to.
He had little time to do more than offer sympathy before he had to go and carry out his duties.
Next morning there was a thunderous knocking on the Castle gates. Thomas, as the only one available had to leave Princess Jasmine making the king's breakfast and answer it. He swung open the heavy door. In the doorway stood the biggest, broadest, strongest looking man he had ever seen.
"Fear, not, Your troubles are at an end. I Sir Roger, will defeat the dragon and save you from its fiery destruction."
The knight had a loud booming voice to match his physical size. Behind this knight was a slight figure, richly dressed in brightly coloured clothes. He removed his feathered had with a flourish and bowed low.
"Be so good as to escort us to King Oswald." He had a voice to match his appearance.
Thomas moved to one side and allowed them to enter. He was about to close the door when a third, rather chubby person came puffing up the path. He arrived, red faced and panting.
"The horses would not cross the Causeway to the Castle," He grumbled. It is a long way to walk too." He took a deep breath and went on. "Prince Bombo at your service."
Sir Roger snorted. "Fat oaf"
Prince Bombo ignored the insult. "I thought I saw your horses on the road."
Cedric bowed low. "Good day to you Prince Bombo, how pleasant to see you again, all of you indeed. Just a flying visit, one hopes?"
"I have come to rid the Castle of this Dragon and marry the princess," announced the Prince ignoring the other two.
"Ha!" snorted Sir Roger, who seemed to have a poor opinion of the latest arrival.
Thomas led the three men to the throne room, announced them and returned to making the breakfast. King Oswald was forced into being polite and he was not finding it very easy. Thomas brought in the tray and was sent for more, so the visitors could join the king.
When he had served them Thomas remembered about the Magician and went to see if he could rescue him from the Nurse. In the Magician's room he found some clothes, made a neat parcel of them and took them down to the old Nursery. Nurse was away, looking for a cuddly toy. The poor magician was lying in a cot.
Thomas had to laugh, the cot was not big enough and the poor man had to lie curled up. He was wearing a frilly nightie and a blue night cap. Swallowing his giggles Thomas gave the man his clothes. When the magician was dressed they fled to the Magician's room in the Tower. They leant, panting, against the locked door.
"That woman is impossible!" said the Magician. "You have no idea. Now what can I do for you?"
Thomas said, "What do you know about Dragons?" Quickly he explained all that had happened and about the three adventurers in the throne room.
"Let me see. I am sure there was a book about Dragons somewhere in here." He went to a shelf and took down a book called "Dragons. Truths and Myths.” He opened it and read out the first part.
"There are three types of Dragon. Royal Dragons which the most rare, Mountain Dragons, which are the type most commonly met and Sea dragons. These rarely come to shore. There are many myths................" The Magicians voice trailed off. I will have to read this through, but which kind do we have here, do you think?"
Thomas shook his head. "I only saw one leg and that was big," said Thomas.
"Any smell of smoke?" The Magician asked.
"The only smell down there was of dead fish and rotting seaweed." Thomas said.
The Magician scratched his head, "Well until we know for sure, we have to assume the worse. And anyway it does not matter all dragons are very hard to kill. That is only done by Saints, very brave knights and the occasional lucky squire."
“Cannot you use some magic against it?" Thomas wanted to know.
"Sorry, no. Dragons of all kinds are immune to magic. They are magic you see, so magic has no effect on them. It usually takes a very sharp sword."
Thomas left the room sadly. He wandered down the stairs to the Dungeons. He did not really know what he was going to do, but Princess Jasmine would not be happy married to any one of those three.
The smell of rotting fish was even stronger now. The little door was partly open. Thomas stuck his head round it. He found himself looking into a pale yellow eye. It stared unblinkingly at him. He swallowed nervously and tried to run. His legs would not obey. The Dragon spoke.
"Good morning, or at least I assume it is morning, it is difficult to tell down here."
"Er, good morning." Thomas stammered in reply. He had expected the dragon to eat him or breathe flames at him, not be polite.
The dragon went on." I saw you yesterday, but you left before I could speak. I was hoping you would return, you look like a sensible boy and I need your help."
Thomas was even more surprised. Dragons did not ask for help from kitchen boys, at least they did not in any stories he had ever heard.
"You won't eat me, will you?" Thomas was still very wary.
"The great big yellow eye opened even wider and Thomas could have sworn a look of pain crossed it.
The dragon sounded upset when it answered. "What an awful thing to accuse anybody of doing," it said with a shudder. The smell of rotting fish got stronger.
"Well, some dragons are supposed to eat people," said Thomas in a bit of a huff.
"I know they do," said the beast. "Some people kill other people, but one does not go around accusing all people of being murderers just because of that, does one?"
"No, I suppose not," Thomas said slowly.
The dragon gave a loud sniff. "And anyway it is only rogue mountain dragons who occasionally eat people and usually only when they are too old to hunt any more."
Thomas asked cautiously. "Well, what kind of dragon are you and what do you eat then?"
"I am a Sea dragon and we eat seaweed, luscious lovely green seaweed with just a little red on the side.......Oh, but please do not talk about food. I haven't eaten for 100 years and I am starving." It heaved a great big sigh and for a moment Thomas found himself choking on the smell of rotting fish. At least now he knew where that was coming from.
"Why have you not eaten for one hundred years?" Thomas was beginning to lose some of his fear.
"Well, you see we dragons tend to sleep for a hundred years at a time and I may have over slept a little," explained the creature. "When I woke up just now, I find some careless person has a castle round me"
"Why did they not see you when they built the Castle?"
"When I am asleep I look just like the rocks, clever really and a lot safer, usually." The dragon went on, "Now I am stuck and I cannot get down to the sea shore to eat. As you can see I am starting to go blue. When I am blue all over I shall die." A large tear rolled down its cheek and splashed on the floor. It reeked of rotting seaweed. Thomas leapt back.
"Sorry!" apologised the dragon. "I really should not feel sorry for myself. Now can you help?"
"I'll try, but what can I do?" asked Thomas.
"Get me out of here," said the Dragon.
"Why not just knock the wall down. Surely you are strong enough for that," suggested Thomas.
The dragon sighed. "Well, yes I am strong enough, but you see when they built the Castle, they built the wall right across the end of my tail and it is stuck. I can wriggle it a bit, but every time I do I hear the most awful crashing noises. I shout "Excuse me," before I do it and "Sorry" afterwards. but I feel awful breaking up people’s houses like that."
"I suppose not," agreed Thomas.
The dragon sniffed and another smelly tear splashed down. "I wish I had never left home," it said.
“The Magician said that Sea dragons are only ever seen at sea. Why DID you leave?" Thomas was curious.
"It is Grandfather's fault really. You see he snores and when he snores nobody sleeps," said the Dragon. "The Royal dragons on the next islands used to get really upset about it and they threatened to burn us out. So, as the youngest and best flier I was sent to see the Witch of the Dark Forest for a cure for Grandpa's snoring."
"Bad is it?" Thomas asked
"Have you ever stood on the battlements and listened to a thunderstorm in the distance and seen lightening flashes, and thought it was a storm at sea, but then wondered because it never arrives on shore?"
Thomas nodded.
"Well, that is Grandfather snoring and the Royal dragons getting upset about it and breathing flames into the air."
"Did the Witch give you anything?"
"Oh, yes, it is here in this pouch." The dragon lifted a wing and showed Thomas a pouch. "There is a bottle of stuff in here which she guarantees will work."
"I did not think the Witch helped any one," said Thomas.
"When she gets a dragon scale and a piece of Dragon claw in return, she helps" replied the Dragon.
"Well, I hope it works," said Thomas.
"Oh, it does. I tried some before I fell asleep here and I never woke myself up once which is what I used to do. We all snore you see, family problem."
Then a thought struck Thomas. "Oh dear."
Upstairs there were three men who had come to kill the dragon. He felt rather sorry for the creature. After all it was not its fault that the Castle had been built on its tail. Quickly he explained to the Dragon.
"Oh dear," exclaimed the dragon. "Well I won't fight. I refuse to fight anybody. It is not in my nature to fight. I am against violence."
"Could you not make an exception this time?" Thomas asked. He rather liked the thought of seeing those three fleeing in terror.
"No, positively not, never. You will have to protect me."
"Thank you very much," said Thomas.
"My pleasure!" said the Dragon graciously.
"That is not what..............Oh never mind. I will see what I can do."
"You, I er, hesitate to ask, could not manage a little seaweed, could you, even a small handful? No, I suppose not, silly of me to ask never mind, it is not that important really." The Dragon sounded very sad.
"I will try," promised Thomas.
Chapter 3
T
homas dashed up the stairs to the Magician's room with his news. The Magician was very interested and sympathetic. He agreed that the first thing to do was to get rid of the three would be heroes. “I will work on that while you go and find some seaweed for the dragon. It would be a shame if it died.”
Thomas went down to the seashore with a wheelbarrow that he found in the Gardener's shed. There was plenty of fresh green seaweed on the rocks and it did not take long for him to fill it up. He trundled the barrow down to the Dungeons. It was not easy to get it down the steps and in the end he had to abandon it and carry the green slimy weed in his arms. The Dragon was very grateful and tucked in. It lost a little of its blueness, but Thomas could see, even in the gloom, that it would take a lot more food to turn the dragon fully green. He sighed. “More work,” he thought.
After washing off as much of the green slime as he could, Thomas went back up to the Magician. “Ah, come in my boy. I have found some spells which are just the thing.” Thomas could see that the table in the middle of the room was full of bottles and boxes and open books.
“If those three want a dragon to deal with, then we must give them one. Can you find out exactly how each one intends to deal with the dragon?”
Thomas thought he could.
“Good. Now I have a spell that will make part of the Castle wall disappear for a few minutes, but it will take some time to be ready. It is up to us to protect it until then.”
Thomas nodded.
There was a noise on the stairs. The Magician shuddered. “Have you seen that dratted nurse woman?”
“She was wandering round down stairs before with a spoon and a bottle of cod liver oil shouting for her 'Lambkin'. Oh and she had a bag of sweets too.” grinned Thomas.
“Well, in that case I shall put spell on the door so that only you can enter. Pity I would like to have talked to the dragon. Now you had better go, the Kind was calling for you before.”
Thomas fled down the stairs to the Throne room.
“Where have you been?” King Oswald did not sound pleased.
“Sorry, Sire. I was preparing lunch,” said Thomas. He did not say from whom he had been preparing lunch though.
“Humph. Show these three gentlemen to their rooms, will you. They are going to begin ridding us of the dragon tomorrow,” ordered King Oswald.
Thomas showed the three adventurers to the guest rooms. Queen Jessamy and Princess Jasmine had been busy getting them ready. Sir Roger began polishing his armour. “Need a good sharp sword to cut off its head.”
Sir Cedric sniffed and said “Barbarian, I am going to put the beast to sleep with my music and then stab it through the heart with my knife.”
“Well, I am going to poison the beast,” announced Prince Bombo, producing a small purple bottle from his pocket.
Thomas was sent for tools for Sir Roger, lute strings for Sir Cedric whilst Prince Bombo demanded food. Thomas was very busy for the rest of the morning. He did manage to find time to go and tell the Magician of the visitors’ plans for the Dragon.
Princess Jasmine had been introduced to the three and then she went and locked herself in her room and refused to come out or speak to anyone.
Queen Jessamy left her to sulk and went down to the Kitchens to prepare the evening meal.
King Oswald fretted and fumed, but there was little he could do as his foot was even more painful than ever.
The Magician mixed and magicked, locked away in his room.
Nurse wandered the Castle corridors calling for her 'Little Lambkins' and promising the nicest of treats if he appeared and threatening the most terrible of punishments if he did not.
Mr. Henry the Butler, slept peacefully in his Pantry.
After lunch, which was simple but perfect, Thomas washed the dishes, took some seaweed to the dragon and went upstairs to talk to the Magician. King Oswald settled down for a nap. Queen Jessamy picked up her knitting and sat happily making whatever it was she was making. The three would be heroes wandered the Castle battlements arguing about who was to go first to deal with the dragon. Princess Jasmine stayed in her room. Nurse had given up her search and was sat in the Nursery feeding cod liver oil to the cat and singing it a lullaby. The cat enjoyed the cod liver oil and was purring loudly enough to hide the strange noises coming from the Nurse.
The Magician had finished his spell making. “That was an interesting challenge, but I think I am ready to deal with those three.” He gave Thomas three boxes. He went on, “This is for Sir Roger, this for Sir Cedric and this for Prince Bombo. See I have drawn a picture of each man on the lid. You must make sure that you are the one who takes each one down to the Dungeons. Put the box on the floor outside the door and then run. Oh, and you had better warn the dragon to keep very still and not speak whatever happens after that.”
Thomas nodded and carefully took the boxes. He went down to the Dungeon with some more seaweed and told the Dragon what was happening.
“I am very grateful,” said the Dragon. “I am sorry to be such a bother.”
“Never mind,” said Thomas. “It is not your fault they built a Castle wall over your tail.
“I wish I had never left the Islands,” snuffed the dragon. “I can tell you now that if I get free from this I am going straight home. And if anyone wants any other errands doing they can ask someone else.” A tear trickled down its cheek.
Thomas asked, “Where are these Islands then?”
The dragon sighed. “They are straight out across the bay, just below the horizon. I was on my way there when I stopped for this little nap. They are very beautiful, but best of all there are no people on them. Sorry and all that, but you know we DO have problems with you humans.”
Thomas nodded. “I understand. There are some unpleasant kinds of people. Why are there none on the Islands? Have the Royal Dragons eaten them?”
“Bless you no. There are no people on the Islands because you can only reach them if you are magic creatures, like dragons. They are peaceful and safe and the beaches are covered in every kind of seaweed you can imagine. And talking of seaweed,” The dragon gave a little cough, “I don't suppose you could manage some more could you, please?”
“I will bring you some more as soon as I can,“ promised Thomas. “But I have to go and help get the food ready for King Oswald and the others.”
Hard work was not new to Thomas and perhaps a good job too as there was plenty to do. He helped the Queen prepare a simple meal, helped Henry Butler serve it and took some seaweed down to the dragon.
“The three dragon slayers, whoops sorry!” Thomas said as the dragon winced. He tried again. “The three idiots are arguing about who should go first.”
“They should draw cards and the one who gets the highest goes first, “said the dragon. “I just wish they would all go home. I will not fight. I hope your Magician's ideas work.”
So did Thomas.
After washing the dishes, Thomas went up to the Throne room. He listened at the door. The three were still discussing the fairest way to decide who was to have the honour of being the first.
“After all,“ said Sir Cedric. “The first person to go in might just get lucky and kill the beast before the others get a chance.”
“Especially if it is I,” boasted Sir Roger. “My sword will pierce even the toughest scales.”
Prince Bombo, waved the chocolate éclair that he was eating and protested. “My poison is guaranteed to kill any beast, even magic ones like a dragon.”
Sir Cedric sneered. “You idiots do not stand any chance. Everyone knows that music can send even the fiercest of wild animals to sleep. Then my knife will find its throat.”
Through the keyhole Thomas could see that King Oswald was sat on his throne, leg up on a stool and looking as bored as could be. Thomas knocked on the door and went in. Queen Jessamy was playing Patience at the table.
Thomas bowed, “I believe our heroes are having trouble deciding on who is to go first. May I suggest they choose a card each and that the one with the highest wins?”
King Oswald seemed glad of the interruption and as the Queen's Patience was not going to work, she lent them her pack of cards. She shuffled them. Sir Roger picked out the Three of Spades, Sir Cedric drew the Queen of Diamonds and Prince Bombo the Ten of Clubs. So it was decided that Sir Cedric would go first, followed by Prince Bombo and Sir Roger last.
“Now, announced the King. “I think you three had better have an early night so as to be ready for the dragon slaying in the morning.”
Sir Roger agreed. “A good night's sleep is what is needed before a battle.”
Sir Cedric nodded. “Yes and a good hot bath first to help one relax, I think.”
“I say,” protested Prince Bombo. “What about supper?”
“Thomas will bring hot water and Supper will be served in your room.” King Oswald had had enough from the tone of his voice. The three adventurers had no choice but to bow and make their exits.
Thomas bowed and followed. As he closed the door he heard the King remark. “You know, I almost prefer a hiccupping Castle to anyone of those idiots.”
When Sir Roger was tucked up in bed and Sir Cedric had bathed and been wrapped in big fluffy towels and Prince Bombo fed, Thomas had a few minutes to go and see Princess Jasmine. She refused to open her door even for him, but he managed to explain the Magician's plan to her through the keyhole. Finally he went to talk to the Magician.
“Ah, Thomas, come in. I was just having a bite of supper, Will you join me?” He waved to his table where there was a large plate full of roast duck and green peas.
Thomas looked surprised. He did not remember anyone cooking that.
“Magic has got some uses,” smiled the Magician.
Thomas agreed and sat down to eat.
When they had finished the Magician gave Thomas a message for the dragon. “Tell him to wait for about ten minutes after each of them has left, before giving its tail a good waggle.”
Thomas nodded and made his way down to the Dungeons once again.
The Dragon nodded, “But I really do not like the noises of things falling over when I do it,”
“Don't worry,” Thomas told him. “It is me that has to tidy up and I don't mind.”
Then with a tired sigh, Thomas went to his own bed.
Chapter 4
A
fter breakfast, Thomas watched Sir Cedric getting ready. The lute was tuned and the throat oiled. Sir Cedric practised a few chords and sang some scales. His voice kept on going squeaky and his fingers trembled on the strings. The poor man looked rather pale, but he declared himself ready. Thomas led him down to the Dungeons.
He complained all the way down that Thomas was walking too quickly. When they reached the dragon's Dungeon, he complained about the smell of rotting seaweed. Thomas opened the door and stood back to let the hero enter. Sir Cedric went in. Thomas put the box inside the door, opened the lid, closed the Dungeon door and left.
Sir Cedric began to strum on his lute and to sing a soft soothing lullaby. No doubt he expected to be roasted and eaten at any moment. When nothing happened he got a little more adventurous and advanced further into the room. He played and sang better too as he got less nervous. Over the top of his playing he could hear a sound like a very large cat purring. He crept forward. In the centre of the room was a large red dragon head, eyes closed and snoring gently. Carefully Sir Cedric stopped singing. The dragon continued to sleep. Sir Cedric stopped playing. The dragon did not stir. Gently Sir Cedric put the lute on the floor and drew his dagger. The dragon slept on. Sir Cedric crept up close and prepared to plunge his dagger into the sleeping beast.
As he drew his arm back a red dragon head appeared over his shoulder and said “Boo!”
Horrified, Sir Cedric looked at the two yellow eyes only inches away from his face. His nervous gaze followed the head down the neck to where it joined the dragon’s body. This was a two headed dragon.
The last thing anyone saw of Sir Cedric was his back as he rode madly away from the Castle. He did not even stop to pack his clothes or say 'Goodbye.”
A few minutes later the Castle hiccupped.
King Oswald sighed and turned to Prince Bombo. “Your turn!”
The Prince turned white and stammered, “Perhaps I should wait 'til after lunch”
“No time like the present, “ said King Oswald. “You can have a jolly good feast after you have killed the dragon.”
So the Prince had to go. He asked for a piece of meat, which Thomas brought from the Pantry. Thomas led him down to the Dungeons and as before opened the lid of the box and fled.
Prince Bombo crept quietly into the Dungeon. When his eyes got used to the gloom, he could see a large purple dragon sleeping peacefully in the centre of the room. Quietly the Prince took out the bottle of poison and sprinkled it all over the meat. He pushed the meat under the dragon’s nose and hid behind the door. Sounds of messy eating drifted out to him, then silence. He waited for the poison to work then he went back into the Dungeon. The dragon lay on its side seemingly dead. Bombo crept closer to make sure. He stood by its side. A purple scaly leg folded him in its grasp and the head turned towards him. Bombo gave a squeak and turned white.
“My dear boy, what a delightful surprise. How pleasant to see you,” drawled the dragon in a very posh voice.
“And what a tasty piece of meat that was. The sauce was quite, quite delicious. It had a certain something about it, a tongue tingling sharpness that I really enjoyed. A pity you did not serve a nice crisp green salad with it, but never mind. These Castles often have very poor kitchens, eh what?”
“Yes, er no er..” Prince Bombo did not know what to say.
“Quite,” went on the dragon. “Still I must not detain you, I am sure you have other fish to fry.” It laughed at its own rather weak joke, sending two plumes of smoke billowing from its nostrils. “I wonder what I should have for seconds,” added the dragon thoughtfully.
Prince Bombo wriggled from its grasp and the last anyone saw of him was his back as he fled the Castle. He did not even stop for lunch.
Ten minutes later the Castle hiccupped. King Oswald spilt his tea.
Now it was Sir Roger's turn. “Fear not Sire, the dragon has not been born which can face the strength of my right arm.”
All went as before. This time it was an orange dragon which lay in the Dungeons. Sir Roger gripped his sword firmly and advanced. To his astonishment, the dragon burst into tears. Sir Roger stopped.
The dragon went on snivelling. “It's not fair, “ it wept, while great orange tears dripped down its face. “Everyone picks on me just because I am a dragon. I mean I cannot help being what I am. I did not ask to be born a dragon. I did not ask to be born at all. “
Come now,” said Sir Roger. “Bear up, take it like a man.”
“But I am not a man,” replied the dragon as the tears flowed faster. “I do not see why big bullies of knights should pick on little dragons like me, just because I got trapped in this deep, dark, horrid little dungeon. I have never done you any harm I have never done anyone any harm.
When Sir Roger began to speak the dragon, help up a claw to stop him. “Oh, yes, I know there are some dragons which are supposed to have eaten humans. Well, maybe they have when there was nothing else left to eat, but why do ALL dragons have to suffer because of it? I mean, how many of your family have been eaten by a dragon?”
Sir Roger had to admit that no-one in his family had suffered that fate. “I have read about it in books.”
“Oh, yes BOOKS! I have read about evil knights who attack and kill innocent humans in books, but people do not go round trying to kill ALL knights because of what they have read in books, now do they?” The dragon sniffed.
“But that is different,” protested Sir Roger weakly.
“No it isn't. How would you like it if you got locked in a dungeon and armoured dragons came to try and kill you?”
Sir Roger shook his head. “No, I suppose I would not like that at all.” He was beginning to feel sorry for the dragon.
The dragon sighed. “Ah, well! I suppose we had better get on with it. May I say my prayers first?”
“Yes, of course,” said Sir Roger. He was no longer looking forward to killing this dragon.
The dragon folded its wings in front of its face and mumbled a few quiet words, then it stretched out its neck. Sir Roger raised his sword. The dragon looked up at him with tearful eyes.
“One last request please?”
Sir Roger nodded. He could not bring himself to speak.
“Could you get a message to my poor old widowed mother and tell her that my last thoughts were of her?” A single tear trickled down the dragon's cheek.
Sir Roger raised his sword again but he could no longer see where to strike. His eyes were too misty and dim. A single tear ran down his cheek, soon followed by a whole stream of them.
He was still sobbing when he left the Castle vowing never to fight again.
Five minutes later the Castle hiccupped. King Oswald's bad leg slipped off the stool. He swore. Thomas, who was busy making sandwiches for lunch smiled. He took them up to the Throne room.
“Ah, Thomas. The Queen and I have decided that enough is enough. We are moving into the town this afternoon. Pack the bags please.” King Oswald sounded thoroughly fed up.
“Oh, there is no need for that, Sire. I will get rid of the dragon for you.”
“You?”
“Yes. Sire!”
“You have until teatime!”
Thomas went up to the Magician's room. The spell was ready. Thomas took it down to the Dungeons. The Dragon told him of what had gone on with the three would be dragon killers. He had enjoyed it very much.
Thomas painted the Castle wall with the spell as he had been instructed. The wall disappeared. The dragon slipped quickly through the hole and the wall reappeared.
Thomas ran quickly up stairs to the Throne room and asked the King and Queen to go out on to the battlements to watch. The dragon cart-wheeled round the sky. It swooped low over Thomas's head and shouted
“Thank-you and goodbye.” Then with a final flourish it sped out across the Bay towards the distant horizon.
“Now I suppose you will want to marry the Princess,” said King Oswald to Thomas.
“If Princess Jasmine does not mind, your Highness, I would rather not. Kitchen boys do not marry Princesses except in Fairy stories.”
Princess Jasmine, who had left her room when Sir Roger went, shook her head. “I do not mind at all.”
“You must have some reward though,” smiled Queen Jessamy.
Thomas took a deep breath. “Well, actually your majesties, there is something. I would like to go to School. There is one where you learn how to be a Butler. Then I could take over from Mr. Henry in a few years time.”
King Oswald nodded. “That is a very sensible request. It shall be done.”
“Besides, it was more the Magician who finally got rid of the dragon than me.” Thomas had to be honest.
“Then I suppose he will want to marry the Princess,” sighed the King.
The Magician was leaning out of his window. “If Princess Jasmine does not mind, I would rather not. I think I am a bit old for her really.”
Princess Jasmine did not mind in the least.
“But you must have some reward, “ protested the King.
“Well, you could stop Nurse from trying to feed me those awful sweets,” said the Magician.
“Done!” said King Oswald.
Sir Jelly
Chapter 1
The Gargoyle
S
ir Jellincourt de Basssinfer was fed up and miserable.
“Enough is enough!” He said to his horse. The horse flicked its ears and carried on plodding along the track. You would not have recognised this dusty traveller as a knight. He wore no armour and carried no sword, neither did he have a squire with him. His armour and weapons he had sent on ahead by cart and no self respecting youth would have chosen to be the squire to this particular knight.
Sir Jellincourt lived at a time when the whole Kingdom was at peace and had been for many years. This left a problem, the knights. They were fighters and used to fighting. However, there was no-one to fight except each other. There could have been trouble, but a wise King found the answer. He did not want to get rid of the knights altogether. They would be needed if there ever was a war and it was cheaper to have the knights who paid for themselves than to have an army sitting round doing nothing.
The King came up with the idea of Tournaments. These were occasions where the knights could meet up and fight each other without any innocent bystanders getting hurt. Since it was rather expensive to be a knight what with the cost of armour and horses and squires and such like, the King offered prize money to the winners. Soon every town and city wanted to have a Tournament.
The Tournaments became very popular. Crowds turned up to watch the knights fight. There were stalls selling food and drink and souvenirs. There were side shows and acrobats and other entertainers. Boys dashed about copying their heroes, fighting with wooden swords. Girls argued as to which was the most handsome knight and bought ribbons in the colour of their particular favourites. Men bet on who would win. Mothers kept a close eye on their daughters and mended the cuts and scrapes of their playful sons. All in all a Tournament was a really good day out for nearly every one.
There were all kinds of different contests. Some knights fought on foot with swords, others with maces. There were individual contests where knight fought against knight and there were pitched battles where teams fought against each other.
The highlights of the day, though, were the Jousts. Here the knights in full armour charged at each other, riding their equally armoured horses. Each knight carried a long lance. The idea was to knock the other knight from his horse. The winner was the knight who at the end of the contest was still sat on his horse. Since knights fought only other knights most of them knew each other well and both winners and losers attended the big party after the tournament finished.
Each knight had at least one squire. The squire’s job was to look after the armour and the horse and find food and drink for his master. In return a knight would teach the squire how to fight. Squires were usually the sons of other knights.
They were not trying to kill each other. Indeed, once they had their armour on it was not that easy to kill a knight. Accidents did happen, but usually the day ended with no more than bruises and the occasional broken limb.
The knights themselves introduced one other thing. The prizes were not enough to pay all their expenses, so they came up with the idea of Ransom. Very simply, the winning knight took the loser as his prisoner. The prisoner, or his family, had to pay a ransom to be released. The better a knight became the higher the ransom that could be asked.
Sir Jellincourt was not a famous knight. He was timid. He was scared of everything, horses, spiders, mice, even his own shadow, but above all he hated fighting. His name was shortened to Sir Jelly, because he shook so much. He had never won a duel, even young knights at their first Tournament beat Sir Jelly.
You may wonder why he fought at all if he was so scared and such a poor fighter. The reason is simple, Sir Jelly was too well brought up to refuse. So, he had to pay many ransoms. Soon all he had left was one rusty set of armour, as had no squire to clean it for him, and one broken down old horse. Sir Jelly liked this horse because it was as timid as he.
Sir Jelly decided that the only thing he could do was to retire to the one castle that he had left. The castle was so old and battered nobody would accept it as a ransom. There at least nobody could challenge him. Behind the pulled up drawbridge Sir Jelly felt safe. There were no servants so he had to make his own supper. He had some cheese and bread and retired to bed.
That night there was the worst storm in many a long year. There was thunder and lightning and rain. If there was one thing Sir Jelly detested it was thunder. He tried hiding his head under the pillows, but that was no use, he could still hear it. A peculiar sight it must have been, Sir Jelly with his head under the pillows and his bottom stuck up in the air shaking with fear.
Then, a good idea struck him. Quickly he fled to the cupboard under the stairs. He could no longer hear the storm. True, something kept rustling behind the wooden panels, but as scared of mice as he was, it was still better than the thunder. There Sir Jelly stayed until morning, the only thing to disturb him was a very loud bump that he did not dare investigate.
When Sir Jelly realised that it was light he crept out to have a look around. Sooner or later he would have to find out what had gone bump in the night. He looked in the kitchen, nothing unusual there. He looked in the bedroom, it was undisturbed. He looked in every room and found nothing. There was only the courtyard left. Taking a deep breath Sir Jelly opened the door and stepped out. He was ready to flee at the first sign of danger.
It was a fine, bright, sunny morning. The only signs of the night’s storm were pools of rainwater lying round the Courtyard glistening in the sun. Sir Jelly looked round, it seemed all right. Then, he saw it, the ugliest creature that he had ever seen. So horrible was its face that Sir Jelly’s stomach turned over and he fled in panic back behind the door, panting with fear
He stood and trembled for five whole minutes before he took a deep breath, turned, opened the door and peeped round. The thing had not stirred. Sir Jelly watched it for a long time, it lay without moving. He opened the door and tiptoed across the courtyard. Round the hideous object he crept, puzzled as to what it could be and from where it had come.
It spoke. Sir Jelly jumped three feet in the air, turned white, and gave a little strangled squeak. When he landed he was so scared he could not move a muscle. It spoke again. The voice was deep, harsh and stony. It sounded as if it came from the depths of the earth.
“For heaven's sake,” it grated. “There’s no need to be scared of me, for one thing I can’t move and for another I’m supposed to protect you, not harm you.”
The voice hurt Sir Jelly’s ears. He tried to reply, but his voice would not obey him. All that came out was a tiny squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again.
“Wh, wh, who are you?”
“If you look up on your castle roof,” replied the thing, “You’ll see quite a few of my relatives.”
Sir Jelly looked up and sure enough at the top of all the drainpipes was a thing. Each one was as grotesque as the one on the ground. The sight made him quake and turn pale.
“Don’t worry,” said the one on the ground. “They can’t hurt you, they’re made from stone.”
“What are you?” Sir Jelly asked, curiosity getting the better of fear.
“We are gargoyles” answered the statue, sounding a little annoyed at Sir Jelly’s ignorance. “Our job is to frighten away evil spirits, and to send rain water down the spout.
“Well, in that case, why are you on the ground?” snapped Sir Jelly, getting upset himself at the gargoyle's tone of voice.
“Don’t get shirty,” said the gargoyle. “Last night was Midsummer’s Eve. On that day while the clock strikes twelve we are allowed to come alive and to have a stretch. You get terrible cramp sitting up there for a whole year without moving you know. Anyway, while I was having a yawn and a stretch there was a great flash of lightning. It made me jump and I fell off. Now I want to go back.”
“That should be easy,” Sir Jelly told it. “I’ll lift you up myself.” “Try it,” advised the gargoyle.
Sir Jelly did. He tugged and pushed and shored till he was red in the face. The gargoyle lay there unmoved with a smug look on its ugly face.
“I give up,” panted Sir Jelly.
“You don’t know very much, do you?” smirked the gargoyle.
Sir Jelly, nettled, retorted. “It’s not everyday you find a gargoyle lying in your front garden. Anyway, if you are going to carry on being rude about me I shall leave you lying there.”
“No! No! I’m sorry,” the gargoyle called as Sir Jelly started to move away. “Please help me.”
“All right.” Sir Jelly came back. “Now why can’t I move you?”
The gargoyle said, “When the clock stops striking we become part of whatever we are touching, so now I’m part of the ground. The only thing that can move me is a magic spell.” The gargoyle’s voice had grown steadily fainter during this speech and Sir Jelly had to kneel down with his ear right next to its mouth to hear it say.
“Can’t speak, turning to stone.”
“Where do I find a magic spell?” Sir Jelly called desperately but there was no answer.
Sir Jelly stood up and scratched his head. He was a kindly, tender-hearted man. That was one of the reasons why he was such a poor fighter. He was always worried about hurting the other chap. He wanted very much, to help the gargoyle, but he did not like the sound of magic. He also knew that the only people who dabbled in that sort of thing were witches and magicians. They were usually most unpleasant types or so he had heard. Worse still he did not know anybody who could even be faintly described as magical. It was very puzzling.
Chapter 2
The Eagle
S
ir Jelly wandered slowly back inside and made himself some breakfast, bread and cheese again. Sir Jelly was no cook. While he was eating he glanced round the room, it was the castle library, there were very few books. Sir Jelly’s father, a very fierce knight, had won all his battles and made himself very rich, had never learnt to read. Sir Jelly’s mother had insisted that her son did learn and now he began to look at the few books left lying around, dusty and unused. The first one he picked up was called ‘Tales of the Dark Forest,’ He looked at the first story. It was all about a rather evil Witch who lived in the forest. Sir Jelly stopped reading. It was rather frightening reading that kind of story all alone in the Castle even though it was the middle of the morning.
The Dark Forest, that was a name to make the bravest knight shudder. It was a huge area of pine forest full of unknown dangers. Few travellers went in and those who did stayed carefully on the paths
Sir Jelly knew that the Dark Forest was just a few miles down the road. If he was to help the gargoyle he would have to go there. He did not like the idea very much, but what else could he do?
He rounded up his horse, put on his armour and started out. It did not take long for him to reach the edge of the forest. It looked very dark and unpleasant. Sir Jelly rode in. If there had been anything unpleasant awaiting him it would have run away in fright. Sir Jelly was shaking so much that his armour rattled like a dustbin full of empty sardine tins.
The path wandered between tall pine trees that seemed to Sir Jelly to be leaning over to try to snare him. The tops grew so close together and so thickly that the sun was unable to shine on the forest floor. The path was covered in thick drifts of old pine needles that muffled the horse’s hooves. The air was still and had a musty smell. There was a taste of decay. Where the sun did manage to break through the gloom, patches of sickly yellow herbs grew.
Sir Jelly was now so frightened that he could not even shake. Now he could hear the whisperings and rustlings in the trees. He shut his eyes and let the horse take him on, deeper and deeper into the forest.
Then, he heard a noise that made him jerk his eyes open. The horse stopped suddenly and pricked its ears. Sir Jelly almost fell off, from somewhere to one side of the path came the most awful rattling of chains and a loud screeching.
Sir Jelly did fall off the horse and crawled to hide behind a tree. The noise continued, but it did not seem to be coming any closer. Sir Jelly knew he would have to find out what it was. He came out from behind his tree, tied the horse to a low branch and crept towards the sound. Soon he came to a clearing.
The screeching and flapping was an Eagle. The largest, fiercest Eagle Sir Jelly had ever seen. It had huge sharp looking talons and a cruelly hooked beak. Sir Jelly could not move. He shrank behind a bush and watched.
The Eagle was shrieking and cursing and trying to fly up in the air. It only managed to rise a few feet before it fell back to the ground. Then it pecked at its leg and tried again. Sir Jelly could see that it was fastened to the ground by a chain. It was in a trap. Immediately Sir Jelly felt sorry for the bird and without thinking he stepped from behind his bush to help. The bird stopped struggling and glared at him.
“If you come any closer, I’ll have your eyes out,” hissed the bird.
“No, No” protested Sir Jelly quickly and stepped back out of reach of its beak. “I was only going to help.”
“Ha” snapped the bird.
“If you promise not to peck me,” encouraged Sir Jelly. “I’ll undo the trap, if you don’t trust me you can still peck me while I’m doing it.”
“Go ahead,” said the bird. “But one false move and I’ll have your arm off.”
Sir Jelly came slowly forward and using all his strength pulled open the jaws of the trap. Quickly the bird snatched its leg out. It hopped around saying some very rude things. The leg was bruised and bleeding. Sir Jelly took out his only handkerchief and wrapped it round the leg. The bird looked grateful.
“Thank you, Sir Knight,” said the Eagle, “Sorry about the threats, but I thought you had set the trap. Now, can I do anything for you in return?”
Sir Jelly thought for a moment, “You don’t know of any witches who live round here do you?”
The bird looked at Sir Jelly with a peculiar expression in its eyes. “As a matter of fact I do, but she’s the last person I’d want to meet. She’s a real nasty creature, turn you into a frog as look at you.
Sir Jelly explained all about the gargoyle and the bird agreed that a magic spell from the Witch was the only answer. He gave Sir Jelly careful directions.
“If you ever need any help just whistle,” concluded the bird as it flew into the sky.
Sir Jelly watched the bird until it was just a tiny dot high up in the sky. He retraced his steps to the path, mounted his horse and rode on.
After a few miles the path divided into two. He turned to the left as the Eagle had said. A short distance along the path the way was barred by a wooden gate.
Chapter 3
The Witch
S
ir Jelly dismounted and pushed open the gate. His horse refused to go through so Sir Jelly tied it to a tree a little way off the path. He walked carefully down the path ready to turn and run at the first sign of a magic spell. The path led to a thatched cottage.
Swallowing twice, Sir Jelly knocked timidly on the door. He did not want to upset the Witch. There was no answer. He knocked again, louder, still there was no answer.
“Oh dear,” he thought and knocked for the third time. The door swung open. Sir Jelly turned and fled. He stopped by the garden gate and waited. Nobody spoke, nothing happened, so he went stealthily back to the open door. He looked in. There appeared to be no-one at home.
Inside, the room was dark and musty. In one corner was an open fire with a cauldron hung over it. A green, evil smelling steam was rising from it. Everywhere huge dusty cobwebs hung down. The floor looked as if it had never been swept. By the light of the fire, Sir Jelly could see a wall with shelves full of bottles and packets of strange shapes. There appeared to be no-one at home. He went in.
At the back of the room was a ragged, dusty curtain. Sir Jelly cautiously peeped round it. There was a large cage and in it, to Sir Jelly’s utter astonishment, was a young woman. She was sat calmly reading a book taking no notice of him at all. Sir Jelly stared at her.
She was small and plump with a plain but pleasant face. Her hair was short and straight and brownish. She looked up and smiled at Sir Jelly.
“Good morning,” she said, “Can I help you?”
Sir Jelly was flabbergasted. He stood with his mouth open.
“If you’re looking for the Witch she’s out for the moment,” continued the girl, “And if she returns and finds you in here she will probably do something particularly unpleasant to you.” She carefully put the book down, stood up and walked to the bars of the cage.
“Oh” was all that the astonished knight could manage, “Are you her prisoner?”
“That’s right,” said the girl. “Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Princess Alison.” She curtsied very gracefully.
Sir Jelly remembered his manners, bowed and introduced himself. “Do you need any help?” he asked.
“Not really,” answered Princess Alison. “The Witch is always trying to catch me and turn me into a frog. She can’t succeed while I have this bracelet.” She showed him a plain gold band about her wrist. “This time she has put a spell on the Cottage so I cannot leave, but not to worry I will find a way out eventually. Why are you visiting the Witch?”
Sir Jelly explained about the gargoyle.
The Princess nodded and told him. “The Witch can easily manage that, but she will want something from you in return.”
Fear made Sir Jelly rather impolite. “What?”
“Oh, she’ll probably ask you to capture my brother, Prince Christian, because she wants to turn him into a toad,“ replied the Princess not noticing Sir Jelly’s rudeness.
Sir Jelly turned pale. “Is he a good fighter?”
“The best in the Kingdom,” Princess Alison replied proudly.
“Oh dear,” said Sir Jelly and explained that he was not very good at Jousting.
“Never mind,” the kindly Princess consoled him, “Give him this ring and tell him I said he was to come with you.” She took a small gold signet ring from her little finger and gave it to him. “Now you’d better go and wait outside for the Witch.”
“But,” stammered Sir Jelly.
“Don’t worry,” Princess Alison calmed Sir Jelly. “Everything will turn out nicely, now go on.”
Sir Jelly went outside and shut the door. He did not like the thought of leaving the Princess in the cage but she seemed to know what she was doing. He went down the path and hid with his horse until he saw the Witch arrive.
Sir Jelly realised straight away that this was the Witch. She wore a tall black pointed hat and a long black cloak. Her face was wrinkled and dirty. Her nose was long and hooked and on the end of it trembled a drop of water. Behind her stalked a black cat and over her shoulder flew a huge black crow.
Sir Jelly waited a few minutes then he knocked on the door. It opened and he was face to face with the old crone.
“Yes?” she demanded. Her voice was like a piece of cinder being crushed under a door. Sir Jelly shuddered.
“Well?” she asked again.” Sir Jelly answered quickly in case she lost her temper.
“I wonder,” he began as politely as he could, “I wonder, if you could help me? I need a spell to lift a gargoyle back onto the roof of my castle. I have been told that you are brilliant at this sort of thing.” Flattery might please her, thought Sir Jelly.
“Hmm, come in,” grated the Witch and led the way. Sir Jelly went in for the second time. He was careful not to stare too hard at the curtain
“Now” said the Witch, “I can help you of course, but you will have to pay for the spell.”
“Naturally,” said Sir Jelly, sounding more confident than he felt.
“I will also need some things that you will have to get.” “Yes?” asked Sir Jelly with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
“I need a feather from the tail of an Eagle.” Sir Jelly’s hopes rose.
“And a hair from the tail of an elephant.” Sir Jelly’s hopes sank.
“Er, what’s an elephant?” He asked, feeling rather foolish.
“Idiot,” muttered the Witch, “It’s a large animal with a long tail at one end and a short one at the other. I need a hair from the small one. “
Sir Jelly’s hopes disappeared. He felt even more silly. “Where will I find one?” he asked
“Good grief! Don’t you know anything?” grumbled the Witch. “Go out of here, turn south and keep going until you find an elephant.”
“Right” said Sir Jelly and turned to go.
“Hang on, wait a minute,” said the Witch, “We haven’t discussed the price yet.”
“I’ve no money” confessed Sir Jelly turning back.
“Humph” snorted the Witch, “Money’s not what I want. If you really want the spell then you can bring Prince Christian to me as a prisoner.
Sadly remembering what Princess Alison had said, Sir Jelly agreed to the Witch’s demand.
He left the cottage mounted his horse and rode off to the South.
When he reached the place where the road split the way was barred. Sat on a white horse, in shining armour was a knight. Sir Jelly knew what was coming.
“Halt false knight. I challenge thee to prove thy manliness in honourable combat.” The stranger issued the standard challenge.
“Oh help”, thought Sir Jelly. “This is the last thing I need.” He closed the visor of his helmet and raised his lance to show he accepted the challenge, wishing desperately there was some way out of it. The stranger signalled that he too was ready.
Then it happened, a large, unfriendly wasp objected to Sir Jelly’s horse whisking its tail. With an angry hum it stung the horse on its bottom. With a shrill neigh of pain and surprise the horse took off like a streak of lightning. Sir Jelly hardly had time to close his eyes, as he usually did, before he met the other knight. Sir Jelly’s horse was moving so fast that the stranger had no time to take the proper aim. The two knights clashed. Sir Jelly’s lance caught the other knight’s shield right in the centre. With a bone-shuddering thud the knight fell from his horse and lay spread-eagled on the ground, winded. Sir Jelly’s lance shattered and he dropped the piece he had left in his hand.
“Sorry,” he shouted as his horse stampeded past. Sir Jelly clutched at the reins and tried desperately to slow his panic-stricken horse. He thought about jumping off but the ground was flashing past at such a rate that he felt safer where he was.
The horse completely ignored Sir Jelly’s pleadings, all he wanted to do was to get away from the pain behind. Sir Jelly could only hold on tight and close his eyes.
So it was that he did not see the branch that stretched across the path. The horse ducked, Sir Jelly did not. The branch swept him from the saddle and left him lying dazed on the path. When he had the breath to open his eyes he saw a strange bearded face looking down at him. He reached for his sword while the face spoke.
“Are you all right Sir? I’m sorry about the branch. I was supposed to cut it off last week, but I forgot.”
Sir Jelly’s eyes began to work properly and he could see that the man was wearing the green jacket of a forester.
“Help me up” he said angrily.
The man did so, apologising all the time. Sir Jelly calmed him down and accepted an invitation to supper.
The Forester’s wife gave him a good supper which Sir Jelly had to eat standing up because his bruises hurt. They offered him a bed for the night which Sir Jelly accepted gratefully. However, he found it difficult to sleep because of his sore chest and sore back.
He also had thought of a very large problem. He knew he could ask the Eagle for a feather. It would come if he whistled but Sir Jelly had never learnt to whistle and was not sure if he knew how. Eventually, he fell asleep, exhausted.
Next morning Sir Jelly felt very stiff and sore, but a good hot breakfast made him feel a lot happier. While the knight ate, the forester groomed the horse that he had found in the forest. As he did so he whistled a happy tune. Sir Jelly went outside.
“Can you teach me to do that?” he asked the forester.
“What, groom a horse?” replied the forester sounding rather astonished.
“No, you great oaf, whistle” growled Sir Jelly.
“Certainly,” said the forester looking even more astonished.
Sir Jelly spent the morning learning how to whistle.
After lunch Sir Jelly thanked his hosts and rode off south again. After a short distance, he stopped and prepared to call the Eagle.
He put his fingers in his mouth, curled his tongue the way he had been shown and blew. He was so surprised at the shriek that followed, that he fell off his horse, again. The horse ran off down the path. As Sir Jelly sat on the ground he saw a small dark speck in the sky. It grew bigger as he sat and watched. He realised it was not one bird but a flock. Sir Jelly closed his eyes again. When he opened them he was surrounded by Eagles. The largest of them sat staring at him, unblinking. It was the Eagle that he had rescued.
“You whistled,” said the Eagle
“Er, yes” said Sir Jelly looking nervously round, “I, er, um, need some help.” Sir Jelly was rather worried, one Eagle was bad enough, but twenty was too much.
“Obviously” said the Eagle, “Or you wouldn’t have whistled. Well, what can I do for you?”
“I have to go south to get a hair from the tail of an Elephant,” said Sir Jelly, and in a lowered voice, “I need a feather from an Eagle's tail.”
“Don’t mumble,” said the Eagle.
“A feather from an Eagles1 tail,” Sir Jelly said quickly and shut his eyes, just in case the Eagle was annoyed.
“Is that all?” replied the bird, and with that it reached behind it and produced a feather. “I always keep a few handy for situations like this. They’re from when I moult. Pulling them out is too painful. How about the trip south, have you ever flown?”
“No!” burst out Sir Jelly.
“No, perhaps not, not with those puny things,” said the Eagle looking scornfully at Sir Jelly’s arms and spreading his wings out proudly.
“Me and the lads will give you a lift. Do us good, a few days in the sun, away from the wife.”
With that and not giving Sir Jelly the chance to say anything, the Eagles seized him and lifted him into the sky. Sir Jelly was flying, his stomach dropped like a stone, he closed his eyes and felt sick. The leader of the Eagles flew alongside and pointed out details of the scenery below. Sir Jelly did not see many at first because every time he opened his eyes he felt dizzy.
Eventually, he became used to it and began to look round him. Below him stretched a huge blue sea, which quickly gave way to high rocky mountains, then a stretch of sandy desert. The desert slowly changed to the green of a forest that stretched as far as he could see. The eagles began to circle lower and lower, aiming for a clearing in the Jungle near to a village. Sir Jelly found the sight of the ground coming up at him very disconcerting. By now the Eagles were tiring and this let to a most unfortunate accident. Their grip slackened and they dropped Sir Jelly. Down he went, he only had time for a quick shriek before he was in the greenery. The leaves of the trees were large and soft and broke his fall but even so he landed with a nasty bump in the clearing.
When Sir Jelly collected his scattered wits and looked up he found a group of men kneeling in front of him. They had buried their faces in the soil of the clearing. Sir Jelly found himself looking at a row of bottoms. He stood up painfully and realised he had a few more bruises. This business was altogether too painful.
One of the men raised his head and spoke in a solemn voice. “Welcome oh mighty warrior. Our wise men told us of the man of Iron who would fall from the sky. Welcome oh great and wise Warrior.”
Sir Jelly was rather surprised at this greeting and was just about to deny everything when he stopped and decided to play along.
He brushed the soil from his armour and lifted the chief to his feet. “Thank you for your kind welcome,” said Sir Jelly gravely. He was wondering what had happened to the Eagles. He need not have bothered for they had seen him rise and had gone off to hunt.
“We are preparing a feast in your honour,” the chief informed Sir Jelly. “Please come to the hut we have built especially for you.”
Sir Jelly bowed and allowed the chief to lead the way. The other villagers followed singing and dancing. At the village a huge feast was indeed being made ready.
When it was ready, Sir Jelly and the whole village sat down to eat. Laughing, giggling girls served leaves full of steaming food. Sir Jelly did not know what it was but he did not think it would be polite to refuse to eat it. He ate and hoped it would not give him indigestion or bad dreams. Everybody had a good time, except that is, one man who was dressed, or undressed thought Sir Jelly, in an animal head and little else. He looked thoroughly fed up.
Sir Jelly nudged the chief and pointed to the man. “Who’s he?”
“That’s our Witch doctor,” replied the chief when he could, a poke in the ribs from an armour plated elbow tends to be a bit painful. “He’s a bit put out by your arrival. He’s spent all week making a very powerful spell to help us win the battle tomorrow. Now of course we won’t need it because you’ll win the battle for us.”
Sir Jelly choked on a piece of fruit. Unfortunately, nobody liked to punch him on the back and he coughed and spluttered while the chief went on.
“There’s only fifty of them so you should have no difficulty beating them while we prepare the Victory Feast.”
Although he had stopped spluttering, Sir Jelly was speechless and quite happy to retire to his hut for the night. He did not sleep at all that night. He sat and thought and thought about what he was going to do. Absent mindedly he drew his sword. It was a bit dirty and rusty. Sir Jelly did not clean it as often as a good knight should, because he was frightened of cutting himself. He began idly pushing it in the sandy floor of the hut. When he looked at the tip it was bright and shiny. Sir Jelly pushed the sword its full length into the sand. After a few goes the whole blade shone like silver.
Then Sir Jelly had a brilliant idea. He locked the door of the hut and took off his armour. He took a handful of sand and began rubbing.
Next morning, the chief led the villagers in procession to the hut. They knocked and Sir Jelly emerged. The effect was instant and very gratifying to Sir Jelly. All the villagers gasped and dropped flat on the ground with their hands over their eyes.
Sir Jelly called for them to rise.
The chief was the first to get to his feet. “See,” he called “The Man of Iron shines like silver to strike fear into the hearts of our enemies. “ He led the villagers in a wild dance round the rather pleased Sir Jelly.
“Lead me to the battle ground” ordered Sir Jelly. The men obeyed. When they arrived the large clear space in the forest was empty. Sir Jelly ordered his new friends to cover his armour in leaves. Then he and they waited quietly in the bushes until the other people arrived.
Fifty screaming men waving spears came out of the bushes. They stopped when they saw that the clearing was empty. Sir Jelly brushed off the leaves, stepped forward waving his sword over his head and shouting.
The attackers took one look and fell to the ground screaming for mercy. Sir Jelly waved to his followers to collect up all the weapons. Then he made the two chiefs promise to keep the peace. Both tribes then went to the village for the feast. Sir Jelly was happy to see that both sides seemed friendly.
After the feast the chiefs came to Sir Jelly, “Now, your honour, you have brought peace to our villages, how can we repay you?”
“I need the hair from an Elephant’s tail,” replied Sir Jelly.
The chiefs’ faces lit up. “An Elephant Hunt they cried. There was great excitement. “The Man of Iron is going to kill an elephant,” they told each other. Sir Jelly tried to protest but nobody listened, they were too busy planning the hunt.
Chapter 4
The Elephant
L
ater that morning, Sir Jelly was led out into the jungle and the villagers went off to drive an elephant towards him. The poor knight stood knees knocking, sword in hand waiting.
It did not take long for them to find a big bull elephant. Shouting and banging pots, they drove it towards Sir Jelly’s position. He took one look at it charging towards him and closed his eyes. Nobody had told him just how big it was nor that it had huge teeth sticking out in front like spears.
The enraged elephant saw Sir Jelly and charged straight at him fully intending to trample him into the dust.
Just then the sun came out from behind a cloud and Sir Jelly's armour gleamed. With a squeal of fear the Elephant veered to the left, Sir Jelly heard its thundering feet and vaguely waved his sword in the air. Then with a rush of air and a squeal of pain the elephant had gone past. Sir Jelly was surrounded by dancing and singing natives.
“Never before,” declared the Chief, “Has any man cut off an elephant's tail without first killing the elephant.”
The wild swing of Sir Jelly’s sword had done just that. The rather confused, but pleased knight took the hair that he needed and presented the rest of the tail to the Witch Doctor.
“Keep this as a sign of peace between your two people. If there is any war between your two villages, it will call to me and I will return to punish the war-makers.” warned Sir Jelly. “But now I must leave you.”
The villagers were very upset but Sir Jelly insisted. He waved farewell and went into the forest to the clearing where the eagles had first dropped him.
They were there waiting for him. “Get what you wanted?” asked their leader.
“Yes, thank you”
“Good,” said the Eagle. “We’ll have to get a move on, the wife will carry on something scandalous.”
With that the Eagles seized Sir Jelly and rose into the sky. This time Sir Jelly enjoyed the flight and it seemed to take far less time. The Eagles brought Sir Jelly to the path near the Foresters hut. He thanked them courteously and waved as they flew away.
Sir Jelly walked down the path to the forester's hut. The Forester came out and welcomed Sir Jelly.
“We were worried when I found your horse in the forest and no sign of you. He’s in the stables.”
“Thank you,” said Sir Jelly. “Could you direct me to the King’s castle, please.” “Certainly,” replied the Forester.
Sir Jelly set off on his quest to find Prince Christian. He came to the crossroads where he had knocked the knight from his horse. To his great surprise, the knight was still out there on the grass. When he saw Sir Jelly, he jumped to his feet.
“Oh not again” thought Sir Jelly, but instead of challenging him the strange knight presented his sword to Sir Jelly, handle first.
“I am your prisoner sir,” the knight declared.
“Oh, yes, certainly,” stammered Sir Jelly. He had not taken any one prisoner before and he was not really sure what to do.
“I have waited for you to return,” said the Knight.
“Sorry,” apologised Sir Jelly, I was in a hit of a hurry.”
“Allow me to introduce myself,” said the younger knight. “I, am Prince Christian, my father is King of this country and will pay any ransom you care to name.” He bowed.
Sir Jelly returned the bow and introduced himself. “I’m afraid, however,” said Sir Jelly, “A ransom is not what I want, I have to deliver you to the Witch.”
“I say,” protested the knight, “That’s a bit ungentlemanly isn’t it?”
Sir Jelly agreed sadly, and explained about the gargoyle, the eagle’s feather, the hair from the elephant's tail and finally gave Prince Christian his sister's ring and message.
“Why didn’t you say?” cried the Prince. “If Alison says it’s all right, then lets go.”
They rode to the witches cave and Sir Jelly told of his adventures. Prince Christian was very impressed and told Sir Jelly how brave he was.
It did not take long to reach the care. Sir Jelly knocked. The door creaked open and the Witch cackled with glee when she saw Prince Christian. She uttered some foul sounding words and Prince Christian turned instantly into a toad.
“Not again” the toad croaked, “It gives me awful indigestion.”
Sir Jelly was rather upset, but trusting in Princess Alison he said nothing. He gave the Witch the things that he had collected. She mixed them together with some other ingredients that she took from a shelf and finally poured on some drops of bright orange liquid. The mixture bubbled and gave off a purple smoke. The Witch gabbled some words over the pot and then poured the liquid into a small bottle.
“Pour that on its tail” she hissed, “then it will be able to fly back to its place, now get out.”
Then Sir Jelly did the bravest thing in his life. He strode over to the curtain that covered the cage and threw; it aside, uncovering the Princess.
“I’m not leaving without the Prince and Princess,” he declared.
The Witch stared at him in horrible amusement. “Then stay” she chuckled. “Forever!”
“Silly boy,” hissed the Princess, “Take this” and she thrust her bracelet into his hand.
The Witch cast her spell and it flew through the air at Sir Jelly. The magic bracelet prevented it from working and his shining armour reflected it back to the Witch.
In the corner of the room was a large, full length mirror. With a shriek that turned to a surprised croak the Witch melted into the glass. In a few seconds she had completely disappeared.
Prince Christian re-appeared, the cage disappeared, the black cat howled and gradually disappeared in a plume of smoke, the crow grew larger and larger until it burst in a silent explosion of light.
Sir Jelly stood blinking at the results of his interference. The Princess spoke, “I think we would be safer outside.”
She led the two knights outside and not a moment too soon for with a horrendous crack the roof of the cottage collapsed.
That's the end of the Witch” said Prince Christian.
“I am not so sure,” said Princess Alison. “Look over there.”
The mirror had survived the fall of the roof. The glass was covered in dust and cobwebs, but inside the mirror could be seen the face of the Witch.
“What happened” asked the bemused Sir Jelly.
“Once you turn a Witch’s spell against her, all her evil spells are destroyed,” explained Princess Alison.
“What about my spell?” asked Sir Jelly worriedly.
“That will be all right, because it is a potion rather than a spell and once made, they always work.” replied the Princess. “Now I would like to go home.”
They mounted their horses, Princess Alison riding behind her brother. Off they set and once again Sir Jelly had to tell of his adventures.
When they reached the Castle, they were welcomed by the King and Queen who threw a party to celebrate the end of the Witch.
Prince Christian insisted that Sir Jelly name a ransom, but Sir Jelly did not want one.
“I did not really beat you in fair fight, “ he explained. “It was my horse who was running away.”
“All the same, you did knock me off mine and you did rescue Alison, so you must have some reward,” insisted Prince Christian.
“You could teach me how to fight, so I can win back some of my lands and things,” said Sir Jelly.
“Agreed!”
Prince Christian was as good as his word and Sir Jelly soon became almost as good a fighter as the Prince himself. Once the knight had won back his lands and money he asked for the hand of Princess Alison in marriage. He gave up fighting which he did not really enjoy. He became such a happy man that he was no longer known as Sir Jelly, rather Sir Jolly.
The mirror was collected from the ruins of the Cottage. It was carefully sealed in a room in a tower in the King's Castle. The window was bricked up so no light could shine on it and the only key to the door was melted down by the Castle armourer.
“There it can stay forever,” said the King.
“I am not so sure of that, but we can hope.” said Princess Alison.
The Gardener's Boy
CHAPTER 1
THE GARDENER'S BOY
T
he Kingdom of Bolonia lay on the edge of the Dark Forest. The King lived in a very pretty palace surrounded by small, but very pretty and well cared for gardens. An old gardener and a boy looked after the gardens. The boy's name was Albert. He seemed to be rather stupid. Amongst the many silly things that did was to plant the daffodil bulbs upside down. Another time he pulled up the flowers and left the weeds. However, he tried very hard and was a pleasant lad. Everyone liked him and so his mistakes did not cost him his job.
In the palace the King lived with his only daughter, Princess Esme, a beautiful girl who was in love with the gardener’s boy. He was in love with her. In fact, many of mistakes that he made were because he was thinking of her instead of his work. He knew very well that a gardener’s boy would never be allowed to marry a Princess,
One day the Princess fell ill, Doctors and Physicians came from all over the land but not one could find a cure. It was a strange illness that meant that every time anyone spoke to the Princess she fell asleep. It was very inconvenient really. When she was called for tea, she fell asleep. Her poor teacher could not give her lessons. Worst of all her father, King Haliman, had no one to talk to in the evenings.
In the end, in desperation, the King issued a proclamation.
"Any person who can cure the Princess Esme of Bolonia of sleeping when spoken to, will be rewarded by the hand of the Princess in marriage."
Albert, of course, was very interested when he heard the herald read the proclamation. If he could cure the Princess of this illness then everything would be perfect. While he was puzzling about it, Princess Esme came to see him.
"Don't speak," she said. "You must find the cure and then we can be married."
"How?" asked Albert.
"Stupid boy, yawn" cried the Princess and sank down on the path asleep.
While Albert stood and scratched his head, Princess Esme's ladies-in-waiting came and took her to bed. Albert had no idea how to cure the Princess. Then suddenly, he had an idea. Albert was an orphan. He had been brought up by an old woman whom Albert called Granny. She knew a lot about herbs. She might be able to help. He went to see her.
The old lady shook her head. "There’s no herb I know of which will cure this illness, you will have to find the Tree of Knowledge, and ask its advice." Albert's ears pricked up.
"Where is the Tree of Knowledge?" he demanded.
"In the Dark Forest" replied Granny. "But,"
It was too late. Albert had gone.
"Stupid boy," she grumbled and shook her head sadly.
Albert had dashed straight off into the forest. He ran and ran until he was quite lost. Only then did he realise that he had forgotten to ask whereabouts in the Dark Forest he would find the Tree of Knowledge. He walked slowly on wondering what he was going to do when, in between two trees, he saw a light.
Now Albert was not so silly as to walk straight up to a light in the Dark Forest. Many strange people and things live in the forest. Albert crept carefully through the trees towards the light. It came from the window of a small cottage. He crept quietly up and peeped in at the window. In the room, he could see a table and a couple of chairs. On the table was a plate of bread and cheese. Albert’s stomach rumbled. He was hungry. As he stood looking in, not quite knowing what to do, he was grabbed from behind.
"Got you, you young thief," growled an angry voice. "Inside where I can look at you," it went on.
Albert found himself propelled through the door of the cottage. He was spun round and came face to face with an old man who was obviously very angry. He had a red face. Worse still, he carried a large stick that he looked ready to use. Albert shrank away. "Please," he gasped, "I'm not a thief," Albert stammered and blurted out the whole story.
"Humph" grunted the old man, "Well, now you are here, you can make yourself useful, sweep the floor."
Therefore, it was that Albert found himself cleaning the floor. He swept and swept until his arms and his back ached. All the while the old man kept up a string of complaints about how badly Albert was doing the job. When the floor was clean enough to the old man's satisfaction Albert had to dust, wash the dishes, clean the pans and lay the fire and all the time the old man criticised.
Finally, when Albert was more tired than he had ever been before, the old man allowed him to stop and gave him some bread and cheese. After they had eaten, Albert had to tidy away the supper dishes.
"You can sleep in that corner," snarled the old man.
Albert was only to glad to crawl away and sleep.
Next morning he was woken up by a rough hand shaking him.
"Would you sleep all day?" There's work to be done." It was the old man.
Albert protested that it was still dark, but he had no choice. He got up, cleaned the house from top to bottom, fetched water, chopped wood and all the time the old man kept up a stream of complaints. Eventually, Albert was allowed to have breakfast. During the meal, he got his breath back enough to ask about the tree of Knowledge.
"Oh, I know where that is," said the old man. "It's just down the road however, you’ll never get to it. The Enchanted Wood is always one mile away from you. N matter how far you walk towards it, the Enchanted Wood remains one mile away from you. Now that's enough talking, clear the table, wash the dishes and then you can start on the garden.
For the rest of the day, Albert dug, weeded, planted, hoed, raked and forked. He hardly had the energy to eat the meagre rations the old man allowed him. The thing that really upset Albert was the old man's constant fault finding. That night he collapsed into bed without a sound and slept.
Next morning he awoke early. He could hear the old man still snoring. Albert decided he would show the old man. He got up quietly and did all the jobs that he had been forced to do the previous morning. He did not notice the old man watching him. When the house was as clean as a new pin and the water bubbling in the pot and the breakfast table laid, Albert went outside to chop wood.
When he had finished he went back inside, on the table were two plates of bacon and eggs, a loaf of bread, a pot of honey and two mugs of steaming coffee. The old man had made breakfast, Albert was surprised but only said, "Thank you." He sat down and ate quietly. Before the old man could start complaining, Albert rose from the table, washed the dishes and went out to start work in the garden. He worked even harder than he had done the previous day. He did not notice the old man watching him from the window. Albert was so determined to please the old man that he thought very carefully about what he was doing and made no stupid mistakes.
During the evening meal, the old man announced.
"You've worked very will today; I'm going to help you." He gave Albert a leather jacket.
"If you wear this you will be able to get into the Enchanted Wood. Once inside you must take it off before you question the tree. To leave the Enchanted Wood you must put the jacket back on. Bring it back when you have finished with it"
Albert was very grateful, but the old man only told him to clear the table and wash the dishes. It was very difficult to sleep that night. Next morning he was again up early. He wanted to go straight away, but he was patient, did his jobs and ate breakfast. Then he asked if there were any more jobs that he needed to do. The old man seemed very pleased, but said that Albert had better go.
Albert took the jacket and went on his way. It did not take him long to reach the edge of the Enchanted Forest. He knew he was there for he could see a tree in the distance, which no matter how hard he walked towards he never got any closer to it. He put on the jacket. Sure enough as the old man had said, he could enter. Before long, he found himself in a small clearing. There in the middle was a small silver leafed tree, which tinkled softly as the gentle breeze blew through the branches. Albert was a little disappointed. He bad expected a huge oak or a towering pine. Still, he approached it.
Beneath the tree carved on a rock were these words:-
'Approach bold traveller. Questions ask but three.For of knowledge this is the tree.When questions asked are answered thee, Depart,For then the knight will come for thee.'
Albert was not certain what it meant, but he put his first question, "How can Princess Esme be cured of the sleeping illness?"
There was no answer.
Albert was disappointed and puzzled. He tried again, still no answer. Even more disappointed he wandered round the clearing until he came to a clear mossy sided pool. He sat and looked in the water. Idly he skimmed a pebble across the clear still water. When the ripples cleared, he saw the old man's face in the pool.
"Take the jacket off," the face said and disappeared.
Albert jumped to his feet.
"Stupid boy," he thought and did has he had been told. He went back to the tree and asked the question again.
A tinkly voice, spoke. Albert was not certain where it came from.
"I know not the answer to your question."
Albert was disappointed. "Who does?" he asked rudely.
The tree did not seem to notice. "The pearl of wisdom may help you."
"Where will I find it?" demanded Albert.
"In the Southern Sea."
"How can I find it?" asked Albert, but the tree did not answer.
Albert realised he had asked three questions. Then he heard a thundering of hooves. He looked round, charging across the clearing was a knight on horseback.
Albert turned and fled. He dodged in and out of the trees, trying to escape the Enchanted Forest, but he never seemed to get any nearer to the edge. A bird on the branch of a tree screamed at him, as he ran past.
"Put the Jacket on."
Albert gasped in horror. He had left the jacket near the pool. He would have to go back for it. Quickly Albert ran into the bushes. The knight went charging past. Albert took his chance and ran back to the clearing. The jacket was where he had left it. It only took a moment to put it on, but it was long enough for the knight to return. Albert fled with the knight in hot pursuit.
Albert was finding breathing more and more painful. He slipped on a patch of leaves and fell. He lay there waiting for the lance. Nothing happened. Cautiously he sat up and looked round. There one mile behind him sat the knight on his horse.
Albert heaved a sigh of relief and slumped down on the grass to recover. After a short rest, he set off down the path. The old man's cottage was empty, so Albert hung the jacket on a nail and wrote a note of thanks. Before he left, he washed the dishes, chopped some wood and filled the kettle with water.
CHAPTER 2
THE PEARL
D
own the Great South road, he journeyed and a long and weary trip it was, until at last he reached the sea. He walked along the sand towards a small town. There was one problem that had been worrying him all the journey. Where did one find pearls?
As Albert walked along the beach he saw a fisherman hauling his boat from the water.
"Good morning," called Albert and went to help.
"Aye, it is," replied the man,” A calm sea and a light breeze, just right for fishing. If you've nothing to do perhaps you'd like to help unload the boat."
Albert nodded. Perhaps the Fisherman would know where to find pearls.
Albert found himself unloading fish, and a smelly job it was too. Then he helped the fisherman to hang up the nets to dry. They carried the fish into the nearby town and soon they had sold them all in the busy market. The fisherman invited Albert to stay the night. Albert was very grateful.
After eating some lunch, the fisherman taught Albert how to mend the nets, and showed him the rock pools where eels and crabs lived under the rocks.
The fisherman's face seemed familiar to Albert, but he could not think who it was.
At supper that night, Albert asked where pearls might be found. The fisherman laughed at his ignorance. "You find pearls in oysters," he explained.
"What's an oyster?" puzzled Albert.
The fisherman looked annoyed and went to a cupboard. He brought out a shell.
"That’s an oyster shell, pearls grow inside them. You have to fish them out of the sea, open them up and inside a few of them, you will find pearls. This is a 'pearl and he held up a small white bead.
"Thank you" said Albert.
Next morning, he went out in the boat and learnt how to row, steer and fish.
In the afternoon Albert was free to wander down the beach. He saw the fisherman's boat and decided to go and look for oysters. He set off and when he was a little way out he cast the net as he had been taught. The net sank down and then Albert began to haul it in. He seemed to have made a large catch for the net was heavy. The side of the boat dipped alarmingly as Albert hauled the net over it. He was very surprised when a whiskered face appeared followed by a sleek shiny black body with flippers. Albert had caught a seal.
It flopped into the boat entangled in the net. Albert was not quite certain what to do and nearly fell overboard when it spoke.
"Don't stand there gaping, get this net off me," it barked.
Albert was so surprised that he did as he was told. It took a long time and did a lot of damage to the net. Eventually, however, the seal was free.
"Thank you" said the seal. "Sorry about the net," it went on. "It's my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going."
"That's all right," said Albert, "I can mend it."
"Good" said the seal, "Now what can I do for you?"
Albert explained that he had been looking for the Pearl of Wisdom.
"Ah" said the seal. "You won't find it round here. You will have to sail towards the setting sun until you can see the Isle of the Winds. You will not be able to get any nearer for the Isles are always one mile away from where you are. When you can see the Isles take this silver chain and throw it into the water. Then you can land. There, in a rock pool beneath a seal-shaped rock, you will find the Pearl of Wisdom. I must warn you that you must leave the Isle before the moon begins to rise or you will have to stay there forever. Also do not try to remove the pearl or you will be turned into stone. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get on with catching my supper.
Albert took the silver chain from round the seals neck and thanked the seal. The seal slid gracefully over the side.
A moment later its head re-appeared.” Don’t forget about the rising moon."
Albert rowed back to shore. He hung up the nets and worked very hard repairing them before the fisherman returned.
Next morning they fished again and when they had finished, Albert asked if he could borrow the boat for the rest of the day. The fisherman willingly agreed provided Albert promised to return the boat in time for the next morning's fishing.
Albert set off, rowing in the direction of the setting sum. The wind was against him so he could not use the sails. He pulled for hour after hour until his hands were blistered and raw, and his back felt as if it was broken in two.
Eventually, he could see an island in the distance. He took the chain and threw it into the sea. He rowed again and in a few minutes his boat ground up onto a sandy shore.
Albert jumped out and pulled the boat out of the water. By now the sun was starting to go down. He set out to explore. In the distance he saw some rocks. He ran towards them. There was a rock shaped like a seal and below it a rock pool. Carved into the stone, were these words.
"Approach bold travellerQuestions ask but three.This is the pearl all-knowing and wiseQuestions asked and answered theeThen leave before the moon doth rise."
Albert looked into the clear, still water of the pool. Resting on the sand was a large oyster shell. It opened to reveal a huge gleaming white pearl. Albert was about to put his hand in and take it when his eyes fell on a stone figure lying with its hand outstretched towards the water. He looked carefully at it. It was the figure of a young man. Prom the crown on its head Albert guessed it was a prince.
Then he remembered the seal's warning. This young prince had obviously tried to steal the pearl and had been changed to stone. Albert shuddered and looked at the Prince's face. He was a pleasant looking person and Albert felt sorry for him. Still he had his own problems. Albert put his face close to the water and asked his question.
"How can I cure Princess Esme of the sleeping illness?"
A thin watery voice answered from somewhere in the pool.
"You must make the princess sneeze with a feather from the Golden Cuckoo."
"Where will I find the Golden Cuckoo?"
"He lives on the highest peak of the Wild Mountains."
Albert thought for a moment about the third question. His eyes moved round the pool. They rested on the stone Prince.
"I wonder if I can restore this statue to life?" he said. He had not intended to say this out loud, but he spoke without thinking
The pearl answered, "You must bathe his face in sea water taken from the light of a moonbeam.
Albert had not really meant to have this as his third question, but it was as good as any other.
The mention of moonlight made him think about the seal's warning to leave before the moon rose. He stood up to go. He looked down at the Prince. For a second he was undecided, then, he bent down and heaved the stone figure on to his shoulder. He could only just manage to stagger down the beach to the boat. All the while the sun was sinking lower and lower.
Then behind him he heard a noise, he looked back, advancing towards him, its pincers opening and closing with a loud snap was a huge crab. Albert fled as fast as he could, with the figure. He began to regret bringing it, but the crab was too close to stop and leave it. He reached the boat, dropped the statue in and pushed the boat out into the water. The crab was nipping at his heels.
Albert jumped in and began to row as hard as he could, leaving the crab on the sand. The last piece of the sun was beginning to disappear beneath the horizon. Albert rowed as hard as he could. He did not want to be a prisoner on the Isle of the Wind.
Then a head popped up out of the sea.
"Hello," said the seal.
"Can't stop," gasped Albert.
"Look at the island," advised the seal.
Albert did as he was told and sure enough the Isles were far in the distance. He heaved a sigh of relief.
"You did not warn me about the giant crab," complained Albert.
"Some things you have to find out for yourself," said the seal. "Anyway you only just escaped in time, look."
At that moment the moon appeared, bathing the sea in its silvery glow.
"What about your silver chain?" asked Albert.
"I’ve got it," replied the seal.
Albert looked and he could see the silver chain back in place round the seals neck.
"Now," said the seal, "You had better wake up the Prince or you will never get the boat back to the fisherman."
Albert cupped his hands, took some seawater from the light of a moonbeam and poured on the figure's face. Immediately, a pink glow spread over the Prince’s face and across his body.
"Excellent" said the seal and sank beneath the waves.
"Thank you" called Albert and turned to watch the figure.
It sat up and said, "The pearl."
"Careful" shouted Albert as the boat rocked alarmingly.
"Where am I?" demanded the Prince looking round him.
Albert explained all that he knew.
"You tried to steal the pearl," accused Albert.
The Prince looked shamefaced. "Yes" he muttered, "It was so lovely, I'm sorry."
"So you should be" said Albert, forgetting that he too had almost done the same.
"Can you row?" asked Albert.
"Yes, why?" replied the Prince.
Albert showed his blistered hands. The Prince sympathised and took the oars. There was no wind at all and so they had to row all the way back. As he pulled the Prince told his story.
His name was Egbert and he had been put under a spell by the Witch of the Dark Forest. The spell meant that he was unable to go into his own Kingdom without hiccupping constantly. He had, had to live with relations. When he was old enough to go he had set off to find a way to break the spell. After many adventures he had found the Pearl of Wisdom. It had given him the answer before touching the water had turned him to stone.
"I have to find my long lost brother," concluded Egbert. "I did not even know I had a brother. When the witch put me under the spell she kidnapped him, and he has never, been seen since."
"Did the Pearl tell you where to find him?" asked Albert.
"In the Wild Mountains," replied Prince Egbert.
"I have to go there too," said Albert. "We can go together."
"Why are you going there?" asked Prince Egbert.
Albert explained about Princess Esme.
Soon they arrived back on the mainland. They pulled boat up onto the sand. They went to the fisherman’s hut where Albert's hands were treated and bandaged. Both boys needed a good night’s rest.
CHAPTER 3
THE WILD MOUNTAINS
N
ext morning they thanked the fisherman and set off for the North. In the nearby town Prince Egbert bought horses and supplies. During the journey the two talked and talked becoming firm friends.
After a long hard journey they arrived in the foothills of the Wild Mountains. There were no towns and villages, only wild desolate lands. In the distance they could see the Mountains themselves. Tall, mist covered peaks, jagged rocks and high cliffs made both adventurers shudder at the thought of climbing in those forbidding heights.
They saw a building in the distance. It turned out to be an Inn. Prince Egbert suggested that they stayed there until they could find a guide, Albert readily agreed.
The Inn was warm and comfortable, the landlord, large and jolly, with a booming voice. He seemed familiar to Albert, but he could not place him. They had a good meal and sat in front of a large roaring log fire toasting marsh-mellows.
Albert asked the landlord, "Where can we find a guide to take us into the Wild Mountains?"
The landlord shook his head. "No-body from round here goes into the Mountains. They're afraid of the bears and wolves that live there. Why do you ask?"
Egbert explained that they had to find a feather from the Golden Cuckoo.
The landlord nodded. "He lives in the highest peak. As I said you'll find no guide, but I can tell you the way."
"Please do," answered both.
"Right" said the landlord, "After breakfast."
Next morning, after a huge breakfast the landlord called the two into the sitting room. He gave them each a haversack.
"You'll need this food," he told them, "For you will find nothing wholesome to eat in the mountains. There is a flask of water also. The only stream on your way is the River of Forgetfulness. Do not drink from it or you will forget everything and wander forever in the Mountains. The path is difficult to follow, but you must keep to it or you will get lost. The way is marked with stones, white ones shaped like skulls. Make sure you know exactly where the next stone is before you move. Now off you go.”
Prince Egbert was instantly out of the door, but Albert who had grown a little wiser and lot more careful in his travels, had some questions to ask.
"We are very grateful," he said. "But how do we get a feather from the Golden Cuckoo? And whereabouts on the highest peak will we find him?"
"Bless you," smiled the landlord, "You're a sharp lad."
Albert was pleased, he was more used to being called stupid.
“The Golden Cuckoo will find you. He likes visitors and if you are polite to him he will gladly give you a feather. He gets lonely up there and he'll be glad of your company. Now you'd better catch up with your friend."
Albert thanked the landlord again and turned after Prince Egbert. He was waiting by the path that led up into the Mountains.
"I've found the first and second stones" he said, "What held you up?"
"I was just making certain that I knew where we were going," replied Albert. "If I've learnt anything in my travels it’s to take things easy and carefully."
Egbert nodded. "You're right. Anyway shall we go?"
They started up the path. The first few stones were about thirty paces apart. After that it became a game to see who would be the first to spot the next stone, and they travelled a fair distance up into the Mountains. By dinnertime they were well on their way.
They sat on the path to eat and rest. In the distance they could hear the sound of water. It must be the River of Forgetfulness. The thought of wandering forever in the Mountains made them finish their meal and hurry on their way. It was their eagerness that led to an unpleasant disagreement. They came to a place where the path led off to the left, but Albert thought that the stone was straight ahead. The argument led to blows and they decided to go their separate ways. Albert stepped off the path towards the stone. Egbert went along the other path.
Suddenly from behind a bush near the path leapt a huge black bear growling fiercely. Egbert took one look and fled after Albert who was standing next to a white skull shaped stone.
"I think I'll go this way," said Egbert, rather shaken. However, the bear did not follow them.
After that they took even more care to find and agree on the position of the stones. The agreement lasted until they came to a place where two stones could be seen, one to the left and one to the right.
Egbert said, "Right"
Albert said "Left".
Again an argument broke out. This time it was Albert who stormed away. He had not gone two steps when a huge grey wolf leapt from behind a rock and snarled viciously. Albert turned and ran back to Egbert.
"Perhaps you are right," he gasped. However, the wolf did not follow him.
By now it was mid-afternoon and they found themselves on the crest of a hill. The stones were easy to see, leading upwards towards the base of a huge peak. They climbed on. The way got rockier and steeper. By now they were very tired and it was only their hopes that kept them going. Then they could no longer find the next stone. They searched desperately but without success.
Albert threw himself on the rocky hillside on to a patch of wiry grass. "There are no stones anywhere^" declared Albert and Egbert sitting on a rock with his head in his hands, agreed.
"You are right," said a voice, "There aren't any more stones, unless you start going down again."
Both travellers jumped to their feet and looked round. They could see nothing.
"But, it would be a shame to go when you've only just arrived and I haven't had any visitors for simply ages."
Both looked up and there sat on a rock was a beautiful golden bird.
"How nice of you to come and see me," it said. "I get terribly lonely up here in the Mountains."
"Why do you live here then?" asked Egbert.
"I have to," explained the bird. "When I lived down in the valley, people kept coming and pulling my feathers out."
Albert looked downcast for a feather was what he needed, but the bird added quickly.
"I don't mind giving one now and then, but it is rather cold when they are all pulled out."
Albert looked relieved. Egbert meanwhile was looking round. The bird noticed and asked.
"What are you looking for?”
"Is there anyone else here? I was supposed to find my brother in these mountains."
The bird flew up into the sky and circled round three times, then he landed.
"There's nobody in the mountains except me and you, and Albert."
The two looked at each other.
"Then" said Egbert,
"That’s right," said the bird, “Egbert, this is your brother Albert."
The two boys shook hands and laughed. "Hello brother" they said.
"Now said the bird, "I believe Albert needs a feather. Take one from my tail, but be gentle please."
Albert did as he was told.
The bird sighed and said, "And now I suppose you had better be on your way. It has been very nice talking to you. I wish you could stay longer."
Egbert had been looking thoughtful. "If you like company," he said. “Why don't you come and live with me? I have a nice tall tower with a room at the top and I can protect you from feather hunters."
"That's a very kind offer," cried the bird. "I believe I will, and now we had better get you out of these mountains before night fall.
With that the Golden Cuckoo flew off down the mountain. The brothers followed. Light hearts made for light steps and with the cuckoo showing the way the return journey took much less time than the c1imb.
Before nightfall they were being made welcome at the Inn with a huge meal, after which they had a bath and went to bed.
The next morning, the three set off on the homeward journey, leaving the landlord an invitation to Albert's wedding. He said he would try to come. Prince Egbert's kingdom lay next to the one where Albert had been the gardener’s boy. Egbert was going to help Albert cure Princess Esme and stay for the wedding. Then Albert was going to bring his bride to Egbert's palace.
CHAPTER 4
HOME AGAIN
T
he journey was dull and uneventful. They passed the fisherman's hut, which was empty and left an invitation to the wedding. They called in at the old man's cottage in the forest. He too, was not at home, so an invitation was pinned to his fireplace.
Soon they arrived at the palace. Albert was amazed to see a long queue outside the gates.
"What's happening," he asked the last man in the queue.
"We are all here to try to cure Princess Esme," replied the man. "If you want to have a go, you'd better join the queue."
Albert and Egbert joined the queue.
Inside the palace Princess Esme sat in a chair, propped up with cushions for every time some one tried to cure her she fell asleep and had to be woken up. All the suitors had cures, pills, medicines, charms, magic bracelets, rings, spells and herbs. None of them worked.
After hours of waiting it was Albert’s turn. No one recognised him as he strode into the throne room. Prince Egbert had bought him a fine set of clothes and he walked in. He looked a handsome, intelligent looking young prince. He was no longer a dull and ragged gardener’s boy.
He strode up to the throne and bowed to the King. He turned to Princess Esme and drew out the golden feather. It shone brightly. Princess Esme looked at him with sleepy, bored eyes. He waved it gently on the very tip of her nose. The Princess took a deep breath. Everyone groaned quietly for Albert was last in the queue. He did it again. Princess Esme sniffed. Everyone sighed. A third time the feather was gently waved under Princess Esme's nose. She took a deeper breath. Her nose wrinkled up and she sneezed, very loudly. Everybody jumped.
Very quietly Albert said. "Good afternoon Princess." "Oh good afternoon" she replied.
There was silence in the throne room as every breath was held. The Princess did not fall asleep. Albert took her by the hand and led her to her father. He bowed low.
"Your daughter is cured, Sire, and I claim her hand in marriage."
All the people in the room clapped and cheered. They crowded round Albert slapping him on the back and congratulating him. Indeed the only person who did not look happy was Princess Esme.
The King called for silence. "The wedding of my daughter, the Princess Esme" and this young man will take place tomorrow morning."
Princess Esme burst into tears and fled the room.
The King looked puzzled and rather upset.
Albert was quick to put him at ease.
"Permit me to speak to the Princess alone," begged Albert. "I am sure I can put her mind at rest, and if I fail then I will not force her to marry me."
The King could only agree.
Albert went into the Princesses room where she lay sobbing on the bed.
"I won't marry you" she wept, "I want Albert."
"Esme" Albert said quietly, "Look at me."
Princess Esme turned slowly.
“Who planted the daffodil bulbs upside down? Who pulled up the flowers and left the weeds? Who spoke to you in the garden when you said not to and made you fall asleep?"
"Albert" sniffed the Princess, "But how do you know?"
"I know because I am Albert," replied he, "Look carefully at me."
"Albert, you silly boy, you've changed."
When she had dried her eyes and brushed her hair, Albert led her back to the throne room. He father, the King, was sat talking to Prince Egbert and the Golden Cuckoo. Egbert was explaining the whole of their adventures.
They turned and smiled when Princess Esme and Albert came in. The wedding could go ahead.
Albert and Egbert were chased away while Princess Esme fussed about her wedding gown. Albert took Egbert off to look round the gardens and to meet his old granny.
When they reached her hut there was a surprise for them, for there sitting, with the old lady was a magician who looked familiar to both of them.
"Welcome home," said the magician and they went in. Albert’s granny wept happy tears when she saw how handsome he had become. Both Princes were puzzled.
"What's it all about?" they demanded to know.
The magician explained. "Many years ago, when you were one year old Prince Egbert and you had just been born Prince Albert, your father and mother asked me to keep an eye on you for the wicked witch had threatened you both. Unfortunately, she managed to put a spell on me and by the time I had escaped she had carried out her threat. You, Prince Egbert, could no longer go into your fathers Kingdom without hiccupping. Prince Albert had disappeared without trace. I found out that the only way to cure he hiccupping was to find your brother and that took a long time. Your granny can tell your part of the story.
Granny began. "One day as I was walking in the forest a black horse came dashing past me. As it did a bundle fell from the saddle. I ran to pick it up. Inside the bundle was a baby. I had never had children of my own so I thought I would take it home. I burnt the fine clothes he was dressed in and brought him up as my own. The only thing I kept was a little rattle with the name Albert on it."
Albert jumped.
The magician spoke again. "Your old granny saved your life, for the witch would certainly have killed you. However, it took me many years to find you. When I did I decided you needed an adventure to brighten you up, so I arranged it. I put the spell on Princess Esme."
Albert looked closely at the magician. "You were the old man in the forest?"
The magician nodded.
"And the fisherman, and the landlord," went on Albert.
"And the bird and the crab," added the magician.
"And the bear and the wolf?" put in Egbert.
The magician laughed, "Yes, I was all those, but you've got to admit the adventure has done you the world of good." "And,” went on the magician, "I have another surprise for you. Your parents will be arriving later today to attend the wedding."
As you can imagine Albert was very pleased, he had found a mother, and father and a wife all in one day.
Prince Egbert was pleased for now he could go home.
Back in the palace Princess Esme hummed a little tune as she tried on her wedding dress. She was going to marry Albert. In the throne room her father the King was pleased, his daughter was to marry the son of his old friends from the next Kingdom.
All in all you would have to travel a long way to find a happier group of people.
Rosie's Goats
Chapter One
B
etween the Lonely Mountains and the Dark Forest was a long narrow valley. It was a good place to live, there was plenty of water and crops grew well in the rich soil. There were a good number of farms, both large and small. Right in the centre where the King's Road crossed the Wild River was the market town of Quonk. The valley folk brought their produce here to sell. Merchants from all over the Kingdom braved the Dark forest to buy what the valley folks grew.
The most famous and sought after of these things was Valley cheese. The best of this cheese was made by one family in particular, the Farmers. Farmer Farmer and his family had their land at the top end of the Valley right up against the Mountain side. Here they had a herd of goats and made the best goat's milk cheese.
All of the family was involved. Father looked after the land so that there was plenty of grass for the goats to eat in summer with enough left over to make hay for the winter. There were other crops too so that the animals had a good varied diet. The older boys looked after the goats as the animals wandered the fields and hillsides. They kept them safe from the wolves which sometimes wandered down from the high mountain passes and stopped the silly goats from wandering off into the Dark Forest. Mrs. Farmer milked the goats, twice a day, with the help of a couple of girls from the village. When this was done they set about turning the milk into cheese. Mrs. Farmer also kept hens and geese and grew lots of different vegetables in the Kitchen garden. Everyone worked hard.
The youngest member of the family was Rosie. Even she had jobs to do. The main one was to keep watch over the kids whilst their mothers were being milked. These kids were important. Some would be taken to market to be sold. The best were kept, to replace the old nannies as they got too old to produce milk.
The problem was that Rosie had discovered reading. Like all the children in the valley she went to one of the small schools in the villages. There she had learnt to read. She read everything that she could find. When she had read every book in the school her teacher had suggested that on Market days she went to the Library in Quonk. Rosie was entranced and set out to read every book in the Library.
On this particular morning, Rosie had a whole new set of books to read. The Farmers had had a very good day at the Market, selling all their Cheeses straight away, so Rosie had been able to spend much longer than usual in choosing her books.
The Market was unusually full of people. Almost everyone who could get into Quonk was there in the Market Square. The Farmer family joined the crowds round the Town Crier to find out what was happening. He announced that the King's youngest son, Prince Colin had disappeared without trace. There was a big reward offered for any information. The Valley folk spent a lot of time talking about this news, but as no-one even knew what the Prince looked like they agreed that it would be hard for them to help find him.
Rosie paid very little attention to the news. She was more interested in getting to the Library and choosing her books.
Now she was sat in the little field, next to the Dairy with her nose stuck deep between the pages of a book. She was supposed to be watching the kids, but the book was much too exciting.
The kids danced around the field, standing up against the fences, trying to get out, to go back to their mothers. They rushed about and jumped over each other, squealed and butted and generally went wild. Rosie ignored them. She only paid any attention when they came over and started to eat her hair. She waved them away, but she did not take her eyes from the book. One of them tried to eat her dress. She shooed it away. Then one of them committed the worst sin of all. It tried to eat her book.
There was obviously something rather nice about the smell of the paper, since whenever Rosie waved the kid away, it soon returned. The other kids came to see what was going on. They too seemed to think that a book would make a nice change from grass.
Rosie got very cross with them. “Oh, I wish you would all disappear!”
The kids ran away at the sound of her angry voice and she settled down to begin reading again. The loud voice obviously worked, she was not disturbed by them again until she reached the last page. The final line in the book read. “So it just goes to show that one should be careful what one wishes for, as you never know, one may just get it.”
Rosie closed the book and jumped to her feet. “Mother must have finished the milking by now,” she thought. She looked round the paddock. There was not a kid to be seen. Worse still, the gate was wide open. For a moment Rosie did not know what to do. She could hear the noises coming from the Milking Parlour, so her Mother was still in there. In a panic Rosie ran to the gate. She listened and she was certain that could hear the sound of tiny hooves and faint bleats coming from the farm road. However, she could not actually see a kid.
She remembered the last words of the book and what she had said “I wish you would all disappear!” Her heart sank to her boots.
Now, she knew, as every child in the Valley knew, that in the Dark Forest lived the Evil Witch. Ever since the Forest first grew there had been an Evil Witch living in it somewhere. It was not the same Witch, obviously, but as one grew old and died or was dealt with by some brave hero another one soon took her place. Some of them were evil beyond belief and some on them merely bad. The present Witch was bad enough, but she was known more for her wicked sense of humour than for downright nastiness.
Rosie's first thought was that the Witch must have heard her wish and out of spite made it come true. The kids had disappeared and now were probably wandering the Valley, lost and invisible. For a moment Rosie was not quite sure what she should do. She stood tapping her fingers on the cover of the book, then she made a decision. She had lost the kids and she had to be the one to go and find them.
Chapter Two
R
osie knew that it would be very silly to go to the Witch empty handed. So, she went quietly into the Store Room next to the Dairy. There was a large cheese left over from Market Day and a small churn of fresh milk. The library book was wrapped in her apron and put carefully on a shelf. Rosie set off down the Farm track in the direction from which she thought she had heard the kids. She had lost the kids and it was up to her to find them again.
The farm track led to the road. Most of the time the road had some traffic on it, farmers on carts carrying various things, merchants wagons and so on, but this was the day after Market so the road was empty. Rosie took a deep breath and started to walk towards the Dark Forest. That was very brave of her, really, people had been known to disappear forever in there.
There were houses along side the road, but the nearest to the Farmer's farm was a good half hours walk. In the garden of the first one that Rosie passed a woman was spraying some rose bushes. Rosie was surprised to hear her muttering “I will exterminate them. I WILL exterminate them,” as she passed by the gate. When she saw Rosie, the woman stopped and smiled, “Good morning,” she called cheerfully.
Being a polite and friendly child, Rosie stopped and spoke. “Good morning. Er, have you heard any goats going past your garden today?”
The woman looked puzzled. “Not today, no. There were some yesterday, going to market. Why?”
Rosie explained about the wish and the Witch. She did not say that she was heading for the Witch's Cottage to rescue the kids. She had a feeling that she would not be allowed to do that.
“Well, I hope you find them,” said Cheerful woman, as Rosie christened her to herself. Just then an insect flew past Rosie's face and the woman stopped smiling and muttered. “Dratted thing!” She dashed off and began spraying her plants again. Rosie walked on. The last thing she heard was a faint “Exterminate!”
A little way on down the road Rosie came to another cottage. The garden here was full of plants. There hardly seemed room to walk form the gate to the front door. A man was stood with a trowel in one hand and a plant in the other. He looked very puzzled. Rosie stopped and politely said “Good morning,”
The man looked up. “Oh, yes, good morning. Er, you cannot see a space anywhere can you? I bought this at the Market yesterday and I need to plant it, but there is not much room left.”
Rosie looked hard and pointed out a tiny spot where she could see some bare soil.
“Oh, good, “ said the man, “Now I can put this one in.”
“You have a lot of plants,” commented Rosie.
“Yes, I am very fond of them. Mad on them you might say.” The man put the plant down on the patch of soil and came to the gate.
“Have you heard any goats going past? Rosie asked and explained again about her wish and the Witch.
The man shook his head. “Not since yesterday, sorry.”
Rosie thanked him and carried on down the road.
At the next cottage a man was leaning on the garden gate. He looked very tired and kept on yawning. Rosie immediately gave him the name Sleepy, in her head of course.
“Good morning,” she said.
The man yawned. “Morning, Pardon me, but I am very tired. I have been working most of the night.”
Rosie nodded. “Have you heard any goats going past your house today?”
Sleepy shook his head. “Sorry, but I have been shut up in my workroom. It is not very big, only the size of a cupboard really, so it has no windows. Why?”
Rosie explained about her wish and the Witch once again.
It was obvious that the man was so tired he could hardly stand up so Rosie went on her way.
By now Rosie was getting very close to where the road entered the Dark Forest. The last house was just on the edge of it. The garden was shaded by the first of the trees in the Forest. There was no-one in the front garden, but Rosie could hear the most dreadful squawking and screeching coming from the back garden. Bravely she pushed open the front gate and went round the side of the house. Perhaps the invisible goats had managed to get into this person's back garden.
As she went round the corner of the cottage, Rosie was almost knocked down by a large hen. Then, she was knocked down by a woman chasing the hen.
“Whoops, sorry.” The woman was very much out of breath.
Rosie picked herself up.
“I am trying to move the hens from one run to another,” explained the woman. “But they have managed to escape and now they are all over the place.”
Rosie could see that the garden was full of hens. “Would you like some help?”
“Oh, yes please.”
With two of them and with a handful of corn it did not take long to round up the hens and put them in their new pen.
“Oooh thank-you,” said the woman as she sank down on to a bench outside her back door. “Eeeh. I am all of a doodah after that. I need a cuppa.” Then she looked at Rosie. “You are Mr. Farmer's youngest aren't you?”
Rosie nodded.
“What can I do for you then?”
Rosie explained about the goats and the Witch.
“No, I cannot say I have heard anything, but then the hens have been very noisy all day. And listen, there they go again.”
It was true, the hens were clucking and squawking loudly. Rosie said, “Thank-you,” and went on her way.
It was dim and cool in the Forest. The deeper in she went the darker and cooler it got. She began to wish that she had brought a coat with her. After she had walked for half an hour and was deep in the Forest, though still on the Forest road, Rosie suddenly realised that the one thing she did not know was where the Witch lived. All she knew was that somewhere in the Forest was a cottage where all the Witches for hundreds of years had lived. She sat down on a moss covered log to think.
Without thinking she reached out and stroked the head of the cat which had appeared from the side of the path. It sat down in front of her and stared at her with unblinking green eyes. She broke off a little of the Cheese and offered it. The cat nosed delicately at it, then took it from her hand and ate it.
Rosie sniffed. “I bet you know where the Witch lives,” she said. “She is supposed to have lots of cats.”
“Well, yes I do, and no, she has only one cat at present,” answered the cat, much to Rosie's astonishment. “And that is me, Colin Albert Thomas, or Cat for short, at your service for some more of the cheese.”
Even Rosie who had read many books about almost every subject had not expected the cat to reply. For a moment she was far too taken aback to do or say anything.
The cat or Cat as he should be known, reached out a paw and gently prodded the cheese.
“Oh, sorry, yes, of course.” Rosie broke off a larger piece and gave it to Cat. “But you know it is not good for you, don't you?”
Cat was too busy chewing to answer.
“Why are you the only cat the Witch has?” Rosie was a bit stuck for something to say to a cat.
Cat finished the piece of cheese and replied. “I chased them all away. I am not that fond of cats, more of a dog person myself.”
“Oh!” Rosie was a bit puzzled at that reply. “A cat who likes dogs is a bit odd,” she said.
Cat licked a paw. “Things are not always what they seem round here, you know!”
Rosie wondered what Cat meant by that remark. For want of something better to say she said, “Colin Albert Thomas seems a strange set of names for anyone to give a cat.”
Cat wagged his tail. “It is a family thing, we all have at least three names, some have five. But no-one else’s spell anything.”
“Colin, hmmmmm,” thought Rosie out loud. “I have heard that name somewhere before. I wonder if it was in one of my books.”
Cat hissed.
Rosie thought back over the books that she had read recently. She could not remember one in which there was a character called Colin. Then it struck her. The name of the missing prince was Colin.
She blurted out, “You are not Prince Colin are you?”
Cat purred loudly. “Yes, yes, yes.”
“Well why did you not say so in the first place?” Rosie asked.
“That is part of the spell, I was not allowed to tell anyone who I was, they had to guess.”
“What happened?” Rosie was fascinated. This was better than any book.
“I was having an argument with my father about why I had to have initials which spelt CAT and I said, ' I wish I was a cat'. Then all of a sudden I was a cat. Before I could do anything, the Palace dogs chased me, so I had to run for my life. I came here because it seemed the best thing to do. If it was the Witch who changed me then she was the one who could change me back.”
“Can she?” Rosie felt sorry for the Prince.
“She laughed when I asked her to do it and said that I should be more careful about making wishes. The only thing she did say was that a cat I am and a cat I will stay until I find the way. I have been trying to work that out ever since.”
Rosie sat and thought for a minute. She had read a fair number of books about Witches and as far as she could remember all of their spells had a way of being broken. She knew that one way was to be kissed by a Princess or a Prince. She leant over and kissed the top of Cat's head.
“Gerroff,” he said.
Nothing happened. Cat remained a cat.
He sat with his head on one side looking at Rosie. “Tell me why do you want to pay her a visit? She is not the friendliest of humans you know.”
Rosie explained about her wish and how she thought that the Witch may have had something to do with the disappearance of the goats.
Cat nodded. “That is certainly the sort of thing she WOULD do, if she heard you make a wish like that. She does have a wicked sense of humour.”
Absent mindedly Rosie broke off a piece of a piece of cheese and popped it in her mouth.
“Huh hum,” coughed Cat.
“Sorry,” said Rosie and gave him a piece too.
When he had finished this piece he stood up and walked off into the Forest, away from the road. Rosie stayed where she was. It was bad enough going into the Forest on the Road, but everyone was always warned in the strongest way never, ever to wander off into the trees.
Cat came back. “I thought you wanted to go and see the Witch.”
Rosie said, “I do, but I was told never to leave the road.”
“Good advice,” said Cat, sitting down again. “But if you want to see the Witch you have to.”
Rosie came to a decision. “I suppose if I am to see her then I will have to leave the road. Lead on, if you please.”
Cat walked off into the Forest with Rosie following behind.
Chapter Three
V
ery soon Rosie found herself on a narrow path which wandered through tall dark trees. Very soon they came to a Cottage in a clearing. A flock of rooks flew up into the tree tops cawing and screeching.
“Early warning system,” commented Cat. “No-one sneaks up on this Witch.”
Now that she was here Rosie began to seriously wonder if it was a good idea. She took a deep breath, straightened her hair and knocked on the door. The woman who answered was not at all like any witch Rosie had ever read about. She was tall and thin and dressed in browns and greens. Rosie had expected a black dress and perhaps even a pointed hat. This witch had no hat and long blond hair.
The Witch looked familiar. Rosie was certain that she had seen this woman before. However, before Rosie could remember, the Witch spoke. “Ah, you are one of the Farmer children aren't you?”
“Yes ma'am,” said Rosie who had been taught that this was the correct way to speak to a customer. Now she remembered where she had seen the Witch before. Mr. Farmer always kept a special cheese wrapped up for the Witch on Market day. Mrs. Farmer always complained to Mr. Farmer that the Witch got the best cheese and never paid for it. Mr. Farmer said that it was worth one cheese to keep on the good side of the Witch. Thinking back, Rosie realised that she had not seen the Witch at the Market the previous day.
“You did not come for your cheese yesterday,” said Rosie. “So I thought I ought to deliver it for you.”
“I was a little busy yesterday,” replied the Witch and turned to go back into her Cottage.
“Er,” said Rosie.
The Witch turned back. “You wanted something? Your father is kind enough to give me the cheese.” She smiled and Rosie shivered. It was not at all a pleasant smile.
“If it pleases you, ma’am. I was wondering if you had seen our baby goats this morning. Only they have disappeared and if I cannot find them, then there won't be any cheese in a couple of years’ time.”
The Witch did not reply immediately. She looked down at Rosie. “And you think perhaps that I had something to do with these disappearing kids do you?” She reached down and took Rosie's chin between her finger and thumb.
Cat hissed and raised a warning paw, with five very sharp looking claws sticking out.
The Witch kept hold of Rosie and looked down at Cat. “So you two have met have you? Hmmm. Interesting.” She squeezed Rosie's chin, hard, then let go.
Rosie rubbed the spots. “That hurt,” she said. “I have been asking everyone I have met if they had seen our kids.”
“Well, I have not left this Cottage for two days,” said the Witch. “So, no, I have not seen your dratted kids. Now you may leave and take that dratted cat with you. He has chased away all of mine and I need them. Now go, the pair of you before I change you both into something nasty.”
Rosie and Cat fled.
The Witch watched them leave the clearing. As they did, four cats came out of the trees and rubbed themselves round her ankles. The Witch pointed her finger at the path where Rosie and Cat were almost out of sight. “Should I?” she asked her cats. They hissed. “No? Oh well then if you say so. Now let me get back to making this spell work. Where was I? Ah, yes. Windows and mice.” She turned and went into her home followed by her cats.
When they reached the Forest road Rosie and Cat stopped running. Rosie sat down on the same log as before. “She is not nice.”
Cat agreed. “And we are still no nearer finding your kids.”
“Nor changing you back to a Prince,” sighed Rosie. “I wonder what it means, 'find the way'?”
Cat shook his head. “I do not know. I have tried every path I can find in the Forest and none of them seem to be the way.”
“I suppose I had better be making my way home,” said Rosie, sadly. “You are most welcome to come with me. Unless you had rather go back to the Palace?”
“Not the Palace,” shuddered Cat. “The dogs would tear me to pieces. I will come with you and help you look for the goats. They must be somewhere if the Witch did not make them disappear.”
Rosie bent down and picked up the churn of goat's milk. “Drat, I meant to give this to her as well.”
“What is in it?” asked Cat
“Milk.” Rosie told him.
“Oooh, I would love some of that,” purred Cat.
Rosie nodded. She was feeling rather thirsty herself. She opened the lid. “Oh, I must have picked up the wrong churn. This is not milk.”
She showed Cat the contents of the churn.
“What is it then?”
“Mother adds something to the milk to make it go like this. Then she takes out the solid bits and gives the liquid to the kids.” Rosie gave a sudden laugh. “The solids are curds and the liquid is called whey.”
“What?” Cat stood up.
“Perhaps this is your whey?” Rosie said.
Cat dipped his paw in the liquid and licked it. There was a flash of blue light and then Cat was not longer a cat, but a rather ordinary looking boy, for a Prince.
The two children danced round each other in glee until they heard voices. They stopped and looked, coming along the Forest road was a large party of people.
“It is my Father,” shouted Rosie and ran towards him. Prince Colin followed.
Rosie's father swept her up into his arms. “Thank goodness you are safe. We have been worried stiff about you.”
Behind him Rosie could see all the people from the Farm and those she had asked about the Goats on the way.
“Where on earth have you been?” Rosie's mother came bustling up from the back of the crowd.
Rosie's father put her down and Rosie stood in front of them, drawing a circle in the dust with her toe, not daring to look up. “The kids disappeared and it was my fault 'cos I wished they would, so I went to look for them.”
“Silly girl,” said her mother. “The kids did not disappear. You were so deep in your book you did not even look up when I let them back into the field with the Nannies. If you had looked you would have seen them.”
Rosie could think of nothing to say.
Prince Colin came and stood next to her. “Please do not shout at her. She has saved me.”
“I wish I” began Rosie. Quick as a flash Colin put his hand over her mouth.
“I think it should be a long time before we make any other wishes.” he said.
The Jackdaw
Chapter One
The Crippled Fairy
“I
don’t know which is worse, the other boys picking on me because I am different or NOT picking on me because they think it is wrong to bully a cripple!” Willowby grumbled to me. I am Professor Shovelock Ellis Hewletts, by the way. I was sat at my desk writing the English to Fairy Dictionary. This was the book that I had been working on since I had joined the Fairies nearly a year ago. Willowby was stood next to the desk. He had just come in from the Fairy Nest after delivering a load of pollen and nectar to the winter store.
Willowby was an unusual Fairy, for he could not fly. Worst of all he had no wings at all. This made him a cripple in the eyes of his fellow Fairies. True he did have the wing buds on his shoulders where the wings should come from. The Doctors had examined him carefully and rubbed in the almost magical Elf Gift. This was a liquid which the Fairies made in different strengths for different uses. At full strength it could cure every known illness. At the weakest, it helped to wash clothes as clean as could be. The way to make it had been given to the Fairies by the Elves many thousands of years before.
They shook their heads and sadly told him that there was nothing more they could do to help.
“You will be earthbound I am sorry to say, “ said the eldest and thus most learned of them.
“I thought I would never fit in, but not being able to fly makes it even harder,” went on the miserable boy. “I don’t know what to do.”
I put down my pen. I had managed to reduce this in size when I had joined the Fairies.
I looked at the boy over the top of my reading glasses. “Hmmmm!”
What I saw, was a fairly ordinary Fairy youth, quite good looking in a way, I supposed, not being a judge of Fairy looks. I had looked after Willowby since the lad had arrived in the Honeysuckle Nest.
Willowby had been born elsewhere, in another Fairy Nest. A week or so after I arrived there had been a terrible kafuffle in the Honeysuckle Nest. All the babies had begun to cry at once. People dropped things they were carrying. Old grannies fainted and the women began to cry. All the men folk stopped what they were doing and rushed out of the Nest. King Adonis explained to me that all Fairies feel the death of a related Fairy in their hearts. Something dreadful had happened to a whole Nest of Fairies, most of whom had relatives in this Nest.
When the men folk returned they brought Willowby with them He was the only survivor they could find from the Willow Nest. This was another colony of Fairies some distance down the Garden. The returning Fairies explained that they had found the Nest torn to shreds. Willowby was under the remains. Of the other Fairies, there was no sign.
“They must all be dead,” said King Adonis with great sorrow, “Or we wouldn't have felt so much pain.”
They had gently questioned Willowby, but he couldn't or wouldn't remember what had happened. He shook his head when asked and became very upset. “The only thing I can remember is waking up here.”
The Fairies had brought the orphan to stay with me. Willowby had joined the other Fairy boys of his age in School. He did well, but the others did bully him a little, because he was different. I found out about this when Willowby started having bad nightmares.
“All I can tell you is that in my dream, this great big black, pointed thing is coming out of the sky towards me. Next to it is a hole in the grey sky. Then I start to fall and I wake up screaming.” Willowby had explained.
The bullying had stopped when I mentioned it to the teacher. The nightmares also stopped for a while until the other boys began to get their wings.
Fairies are not born winged. Girl fairies get theirs once they reach the age of five, but boys get theirs much later. The younger a boy gets his wings the more ‘flighty’ they are. Indeed, the very youngest are called’ Sprites’ and they often do not grow up at all. Most of them do not live very long as they have so little sense. The older a male Fairy is, when his wings appear, the more sober and sensible they are. These boys are often the ones who become Doctors or teachers or Nest leaders. Even so, all Fairies are winged by the time they are 16. Willowby was reckoned to be at the right age to have grown his wings.
If he had shown signs of being clever or sensible then he might have been regarded as a very late developer and been destined for greatness. However, whilst neither dull nor stupid, he was no great or deep thinker.
I did my best to reassure the youth. “It is probably something to do with what happened to you. When we can find out exactly what it was, you may well grow your wings. In the mean time, you are almost as good as your classmates at collecting food. Possibly even better than some as you try harder.”
It was true. Willowby had learnt how to make ropes from the silk of spider’s webs. He attached them to hooks made from Teasel flower spines. With these climbing tools he could get to the top of any flower and collect the pollen and nectar. This was very important work. The Nest depended on a good harvest to last them through winter months.
“You have won the heart of Princess Holly. That alone makes you special. I know all the other Fairy boys wanted to do that.”
It was true. Willowby may not have been able to fly. However, that didn't stop Princess Holly from falling in love with him.
Willowby nodded.” I shouldn't complain really, but it is so hard to be pitied sometimes.”
Before I could say any more there was a loud knocking at the door. Willowby went and opened it. Two of the King’s guards pushed him back into the room and came in.
“Willowby of Willow Nest, you are under arrest for the theft of the Crown Jewels.”
Chapter Two
A Terrible Crime
K
ing Adonis followed his guards into the room He looked very angry and for once he was not wearing the crown. I couldn't remember ever seeing the King without his badge of office before.
The guards positioned themselves on either side of Willowby and held on to his arms. He could hardly move. He opened his mouth to protest, but all that came out was a squeak.
I did manage to overcome my surprise and ask. “What is the meaning of this? What is going on?”
“The Crown Jewels have gone missing, probably stolen and we have good reasons to believe that this person is the culprit,” said King Adonis.
That made me frown. “I doubt that very much. Willowby has always struck me as an honest boy”
“Well, yes, up to now that is so. “ King Adonis agreed. “But the Crown Jewels are missing and his ropes and hooks were found at the scene.”
“Oh!” I turned to Willowby. “Well?”
“I haven't stolen anything.” Willowby said.
“Then how do you explain your ropes being right next to the Jewel room?” King Adonis demanded.
Willowby shook his head. “I can't!”
“And everyone knows you have been collecting every shiny thing you can lay your hands on for the last few weeks. How do you explain that?”
“I can't”
“Then you will be cast out of the Nest!” King Adonis shouted.
The guards began to drag Willowby towards the door.
“Slow down, “I said. “Being cast out of the Nest is as good as a death sentence and we haven't proved him guilty yet. And If he did steal the Jewels.”
“I didn't. I didn't” Willowby was almost in tears.
“Hah!” sniffed King Adonis.
I waved both my hands, “Just calm down, calm down. Let me finish. If and I mean if, Willowby did steal the Jewels then before you cast him out, I would have thought you would want him to tell you where they are. “
“But I didn't and I don't know where they are.” Willowby protested.
“All right, all right.” I went on in a calm voice. “We shall get to the bottom of this mystery.”
King Adonis took a deep breath. “Perhaps I have been a little hasty.” Then, he turned to me. “What do you suggest we do then?”
“In all the Detective stories I have read, the first thing they do is to examine the scene of the crime,” I answered.
“Detective stories?” Kind Adonis's anger turned to puzzlement.
“Yes, of course, never mind I will explain another time. We need to go and look at the Jewel room to see if we can find out what happened.”
King Adonis nodded. “Yes, that seems sensible. And bring the prisoner.” He pushed past the guards and led the way out of the room. I picked up a magnifying glass from my desk and followed. The King led the way to the Jewel room high up in the roof of the Nest. In deference to the human who couldn't fly and the wingless fairy, they used the stairs rather than flying up.
The Jewel room was a small chamber that led off the throne room. Willowby and the guards stopped in the Throne room and King Adonis showed me into the room.
There certainly had been a crime. The shelves were empty. There was also a large gaping hole in the ceiling.
“I assume there used to be a lot of things in here?” I asked.
King Adonis nodded. “There were lots of things. You humans are very careless at times and my people pick up all kinds of pretty things that you lose. They are no use really. The lad could have them, but not my Crown. I feel undressed without it.
The King made as if to enter the Jewel Room. I gently stopped him. "Excuse me, sire but please allow me to examine the room from here before we go in."
King Adonis stood still. "Why?" He asked.
"We may be able to see who has been in the room," I explained. I looked carefully around. "This is very odd, there are only one set of footprints. I assume they are yours from when you went to look for your crown."
King Adonis nodded.
"Then whoever stole the Jewels can't have come in through the door and walked across the room without leaving footprints. Perhaps it is a good job you do not dust the room very often."
King Adonis had the grace to blush. "I don't go in there very often. The crown is hung up on the hook by the door. No one else is allowed in there at all.
I nodded. "I see. The thief then must have come in through the hole in the ceiling."
The King nodded.
"I would have thought that the thief would need wings to do that," I commented.
The King shook his head. "All the thief would need to do is to lie on the roof and hook the Jewels out, or dangle on a rope and pick them up without touching the floor."
"Hmmmm, yes that is a possibility. Can we get up onto the roof?" I began to feel a little worried.
"There is a little used stairway up, yes. It is a bit rickety so I will fly up while you walk. Do be careful please," said King Adonis.
We met up on the roof. Near to the hole I found two coils of spider’s silk rope and some hooks.
"They are what make me think it is the boy who stole my crown," said King Adonis as he landed next to me. "Only he uses ropes and hooks like that."
"It certainly begins to look very bad for him. But I still find it hard to believe that he is a thief." I took out my magnifying glass and examined the area carefully. I picked up a small piece of black fluff from the edge of the hole and wrapped it carefully in my handkerchief. "Interesting."
Next I peered closely at the rope and hook. I found another piece of fluff on top of the rope. "Very interesting."
King Adonis looked puzzled.
"I think we can move the rope and hook now and go and talk to Willowby." I went back down the stairs carrying Willowby's ropes and hooks.
"Are these yours? I asked.
Sadly Willowby, still held tightly by the guards, nodded.
"Why are they on the roof of the Throne room?"
"I can't tell you, but I didn't steal anything." Willowby sounded very distressed.
"Well, did you put them there?"
"Yes, no one else will touch them."
"When?"
They have been up there for over a week now. And that is the last time I went up there," he added.
I turned to the King. "Perhaps we can establish when this theft took place. I assume you would have noticed the hole in the roof when you hung up the Crown. So the break in must have happened while you were asleep."
King Adonis nodded. "I usually have half an hours nap straight after lunch. I am a heavy sleeper so I heard nothing and I woke up at my normal time."
"Good, then the theft must have happened during your nap. So, about how long did it take you to call the guards, decide it was Willowby, find out where he was and get down to my room?"
King Adonis thought for a moment. "No more than ten minutes. Why?"
"Well," I said. "I had lunch at the same time as you did and Willowby came to talk to me about half an hour after that."
"So he could have stolen the Crown in that half hour. He was not in the Nest all morning that I do know." King Adonis said with a sniff.
I turned to Willowby. "Where did you spend the morning then?"
Willowby thought for a moment. "I was collecting pollen and Nectar from the lupins in the Garden."
"There you are, that shows he is a liar," broke in King Adonis. "No fairy has ever managed to collect pollen from Lupins. You need to be as heavy as a bumble bee to open the flowers!"
"If you go and look in the Food store you will find bags of lupin pollen. It is easy to open the flowers if you know how," said Willowby.
"I hope you do not damage them!"
Willowby was indignant. "Certainly not. I lever them open with a blackthorn spike. If you put it in just the right spot the flower opens easily. I have stronger arms than most because of using the ropes to climb. And I always leave a little pollen behind for the bumblebees. And I take some to the other lupins. I look after the flowers which is more than some of the other boys do."
"Then, surely someone in the Food store must have seen you. There are almost always people working in there." I said.
Willowby shook his head. "I do not remember seeing anyone. It was lunchtime and I think they were all away, eating"
"It would be easy enough to check if there is lupin pollen in the Food store," said King Adonis. "You, Mahonia, go and look."
One of the guards left.
"I think you will find that I can prove just from what we have here that Willowby didn't steal the jewels. One. He probably didn't have time if he was delivering pollen; Two. His rope has dust on it, but not underneath it so it can't have been moved and Three, these bits of fluff may well have been left by the thief and one was on top of the rope. It wouldn't have been there if the rope had been moved." I have to say I felt really pleased with myself for that price of detective work.
I took the pieces of fluff from my handkerchief and showed them to King Adonis with a flourish.
Before he could say anything the door burst open and a wild-eyed female Fairy rushed in. She stopped when she saw me, Willowby and the guard.
Chapter Three
A Kidnapped Queen
"Y
ou, OUT and you,” she shouted to the guard and Willowby. When they hesitated she screamed. "Now!"
King Adonis nodded at the guard who fled taking Willowby with him.
"Now Larkspur," said the King in a soothing voice. ”What is the matter?"
Instead of answering, the Fairy went to the throne room door and closed it.
"The human can stay, we might need his advice." She said as she walked back into the middle of the room. "Princess Holly has disappeared. She was out on the Roof Terrace and she is not there now."
King Adonis sat down on the throne. "Are you sure she didn't come back through the door?"
"I locked the door so no one could see her. She was trying on the Gown of Light, so she couldn't be seen. She was supposed to shout when she was ready to come in. I gave her fifteen minutes then I opened the door. She was nowhere in sight."
King Adonis groaned. "And no-one can go and look for her either, except you."
I had to ask. "What is this Gown of Light and why can no one go looking for her?"
"You explain, your Highness while I go and have another look on the roof"
"Of course. You were too ill to notice the Festival of the Light when you came to join us last year. The thing that was growing inside you made you very sick, until the Elf Gift and Larkspur's nursing cured it. Well, the Festival of the Light happens every year on the morning of the longest day. A Queen of Light is chosen by the women folk. She then has to design and make the Gown of Light. No one else except her and the previous Queen are allowed to see it before dawn.”
“Dawn?”
“Yes the Queen of the Light declares that the Day has begun and then the fun begins.
“I must write all this down later on for the book on Fairy history.” I was writing a series of books about all parts of Fairy life. The Fairies did not understand why I wanted to do this, as they never forgot anything and lived forever unless killed. I did explain that when a Nest like the Willow one was destroyed everything the Nest knew was lost with it. If there were written records then at least they might survive. I do not think they understood. Fairies tend not to worry about things like that.
“The Queen of the Light MUST appear at dawn or there will be no light for the year.”
Larkspur had come back. “And she is definitely not on the roof. She wouldn't have flown off, the Gown was too heavy. She would not have taken it off and left it on the roof since that would mean someone might see it.”
“You don’t mean to say that you believe that the light will disappear just because the Queen does not appear.” I was surprised, the Fairies were usually a very practical people.
“The Light will fail,” said the King firmly.
“But the Earth will still go round the Sun,” I protested.
“Yes,” said the King. “But there will be no Light for us.”
“Well then we had better find Princess Holly. May I go and look at the Roof Terrace?”
King Adonis nodded. “As long as she is not up there then we can go and search it.” He led me up another set of stairs.
The Roof Terrace was a long narrow balcony over looking the garden. It gave a fine view of the whole area. It was very private, anyone on the Terrace could watch without being seen either from the ground or from the sky. I searched the whole length. All I found was a tiny piece of silver foil and another small bit of black fluff. I showed them to the King and Larkspur.
Both shook their heads. “The shiny stuff is from the gown,” said Larkspur. “But what the feather is from I do not know.”
We made our way back to the Throne Room. Willowby and the guard came in. I couldn't help noticing that the guard was no longer keeping tight hold of Willowby. I guessed that he agreed that the lad was innocent.
“There is indeed a bag of fresh lupin pollen in the Food Store and Daisy remembers seeing the lad taking it in at about the middle of lunch time.”
“Thank- you, Juniper. You can go now.”
The guard left the room.
“Now!” I said without thinking. “What are we going to do about this missing Princess Holly?”
“Shhhh!” Larkspur said, but it was too late. Willowby had heard.
“The Princess is missing? When, where, how?” He rushed over to the King.
“I suppose we had better tell him, since I know that Princess Holly was going to chose him as her life partner at the Ball,” sighed King Adonis.
“Another one of your customs?” I asked.
“Yes,” replied the King. “Fairies from all over the garden from every Nest come to the Ball. Only the old and the babies stop at home. It is a time when the whole of Fairydom meets up to renew friendships and to choose life partners. It is usually a very happy and in some ways a sad time.”
“Happy I can see, but why sad?” I asked.
“Well, when a couple are paired up, and we believe that is for life, then the girl moves to her partner’s Nest to live. So, it is a time of both ‘Hellos and Goodbyes.”
“Oh never mind all, that” shouted Willowby. “What has happened to Holly?”
“If I tell you what is going on then you must promise not to mention it outside of this room to anyone, ever. Do you understand?” King Adonis thrust his face right up to Willowby and looked very fierce.
Willowby stepped back and stammered. “Yes of course, but please won’t some one explain?”
Larkspur did as Willowby asked. “She went out on to the roof to try on the gown for which you have been collecting shiny things and she just didn't come back.”
“I must go and find her,” shouted Willowby. “She can't fly in that gown. It is too heavy.”
King Adonis blew through his lips. “How do you know? You haven't seen it have you?”
“No, Holly told me that I had collected so many shiny things that by the time she had sewn them all on it was too heavy to fly. That is why my ropes and hooks were on the throne room roof. She is supposed to fly down into the main hall to declare the Day begun. I had rigged up a harness and I was going to lower her down to the floor. Once the Day was under way she takes off the Gown of Light so it wouldn't have mattered after that.
“Why didn't you say?”
“She made me promise not to tell anyone, in case it wasn't allowed.”
“Hmmmm, the rule says that the Queen must descend to into the main hall in her Gown of Lights. It does not say ‘fly’ down, so, I think it will be all right,” said the King
“Yes, but only if we find her,” pointed out Larkspur.
I thought it was time for me to join in. “There is a problem here. King Adonis can't go looking for her as that would immediately rouse suspicion. I can't go because I can't fly and Larkspur can't go either. I am sorry to say this Willowby, but if, and I mean IF, and nothing else, something dreadful has happened to Holly, you are the only one who can go looking for her.”
Willowby danced up and down in worry.
“Larkspur will have to quickly make a Gown of Lights and take over as Queen. Is there any rule which say someone can't be Queen for two years?”
She shook her head. “Not that I know of, but no one has ever been Queen twice before. It would cause some talk.”
“Better than no Light for the year,” said Adonis.
“Right so we are agreed the only one who can possibly go and search then is Willowby.”
The two Fairies nodded.
“Good, now all we need to do is to decide where to begin searching.”
“One thing I do have to say,” broke in King Adonis. “Sorry Willowby, I know you love Holly and will do anything for her and I am glad you are not a thief. But I do have to tell you, that if you see her in the Gown of Lights before the Ball then you will have to be blinded and thrown out of the Nest?”
“I don’t care, I just want her to be back safe and if that means I never see her again then so be it. But where do I look?” Willowby sounded frantic.
Chapter Four
Deductions
S
uddenly something, which Larkspur had said, struck me. I turned to her. “What did you say that fluff was?”
“It looks like a piece of feather. Why?”
“Hang on a minute.” I took the other two pieces of fluff from my pocket. “And what do you think these are then?”
“They look like feathers too.”
Willowby looked at them. He shuddered. “I have seen feathers like that before somewhere,” he said. “And they make me very, very frightened.”
“Now we are getting somewhere. I know you want to rush off and go searching and yes I know we have only the rest of today to find the Princess and get her back, but if we think about what we are doing then we WILL be successful.” I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt.
“Now we know then that a bird was on the roof of the Jewel Room and on the Roof Terrace too. What we need to do is figure out why it was in both places and what kind of birds it is.”
“Yes, but why would a bird want to pinch a load of shining jewels and my crown and kidnap the Princess in her Gown of Lights?” King Adonis scratched his head.
I walked up and down, hands behind my back. This was my favourite way to think.
“Ah ha! Got it. It was not the Princess it wanted, it was the Gown. The bird was after shining things. Now quickly what kind of black bird likes to collect shining things?”
There are only four black feathered birds in the garden,” said Larkspur. “The Crows who live in the big Ash tree down the garden. They don’t come into the garden at all. Then there are the rooks that nest altogether in the Woods. They don’t usually come down either. Then there are blackbirds. They are all over the place and very dangerous to us they are, but I have never heard of them liking shiny things.”
“That just leaves one, the Jackdaw. They love to collect shiny things,” I said in triumph. “That is what has stolen the Jewels and Princess Holly.”
“But, but Jackdaws eat Fairies,” worried King Adonis. “We have been very lucky there have been no Jackdaws in the garden for as long as I can remember.”
“I didn't realise that they were dangerous to you or I would have said. There was some flying around the garden just before I came to live with you,” I said. “I am sorry, I was glad to see them, they are interesting birds to a human.”
“We must hurry then. If it has taken Holly because she was shining, it may not have discovered she can be eaten yet.” Willowby was eager to go. “Do you know where they were nesting?”
“This was over a year ago,” I said, “But they were building in the very tall pear tree at the bottom of the garden. The nests were at least 60 feet up the tree.”
“I am not scared of heights,” declared Willowby. “I just wish I could fly and get there quicker.”
“Wait a moment, I have an idea,” said Larkspur. She left the throne room.
“I will go and get my best ropes and hooks,” said Willowby and also left.
King Adonis slumped on his throne. “I do not think there is much hope really do you?”
“There is always hope,” I told him. “And she must still be alive or you would have known it since she is your niece. You said that Fairies felt it in their heart when a relative was killed.”
“True.” The King thought for a moment. “You know I don’t like that lad going off into danger like this I wish I could help.”
“Me too,” I said.
“Actually!” King Adonis said. “There is something I can do.” He went into his bedroom and fished under the bed. He came out carrying a long thin parcel. “You know I haven't looked at this for years.” He unwrapped the parcel, to reveal a shiny sword. He waved it round his head. “Never had much need of one myself. We are a peaceful folk.”
I took the sword from his hand as he was in danger of chopping off his own head and laughed. “This belonged to one of my toy soldiers. I lost it in the garden when I was a child. How fortunate is that?”
Before the King could answer both Larkspur and Willowby came back in. Willowby had dressed himself in green and grey. He would disappear once he was climbing the bark of a tree. Larkspur carried a parcel.
“I have wrapped up some clothes for Holly. She must change out of the Gown and then she can wrap it up so you do not see it. This is a blindfold for you to put on while she changes.” She handed Willowby a scarf and a parcel.
“If you can't manage the Gown, then leave it behind. I will turn Holly’s Ball gown into a Gown of Lights for her. That will have to do in an emergency.”
“And I have this for you,” said King Adonis. “I hope you do not need to use it, but I would feel better if you had something to stick in the Jackdaws if it attacks you.” He handed over the sword
“I think that we could ask Mahonia and Juniper to fly you down to the Pear tree. They could fly you up to the nests, but that would be too risky. They might see the Gown or be eaten by the Jackdaws if it sees them.”
“Won’t they wonder what is going on?” I asked.
“Yes, but they are soldiers and they will do as they are ordered.”
The two guards were called for and given their instructions. “No matter what happens you are to come straight back here. Is that clear?” The guards saluted and grabbed Willowby and flew off.
“Good luck, my boy!” I called after him.
Chapter Five
Willowby to the Rescue
T
he rest of this story I have written down as it was told to me by Willowby. He never did learn to write.
“Mahonia and Juniper were good strong fliers and it didn't take long for us to reach the Pear tree. As ordered, they left me there and flew away as quickly as they could. I think they perhaps knew about the Jackdaws, but they didn't say anything. The King's sword was a bit of a nuisance so I made a belt from a piece of my rope and hung it over my back. It stuck out a bit over my head, but it was the best I could do. Then I began to climb. Pear trees of this age are simple for a Fairy to climb, as the bark is full of cracks and crannies. I hardly needed my ropes and hooks. Mind it was a long way up to the first branch and I was glad to sit and rest for a few minutes.
I couldn't rest for long. If the Jackdaw discovered that its shiny toy had something good to eat inside it then Holly would be killed. I carried on climbing. When I reached half way up the tree I needed to rest again. There were no branches, so I wedged myself in a deep crack to catch my breath.
It was a mistake. The crack was not empty, a large black beetle sat in it. Its antenna waved in my direction. Then, it decided I was good to eat. It levered itself up the crack towards me. I inched myself upwards away from it, but the crack ended. I had nowhere to go. I tried to reach for the sword from where I had slung it on my back, but it was jammed against the bark. I couldn't get it free. The beetle reared up ready to snatch me in its jaws. I confess I shut my eyes and said, “I am sorry Holly!”
There was a sudden rush of wings and a heavy thud on the tree next to where I was hiding. I opened my eyes to see what this new danger could be. The beetle crouched down, but it was no good, the bird had seen it and with a snap of its beak, the beetle was gone. I kept very still fearing that I had gone from the jaws of a beetle to the beak of a bird. I can only think that my grey and green clothes confused it, for the woodpecker, which is what the bird was, pecked for a few seconds all round me, then flew away.
Birds are one of the greatest dangers to us Fairies after shrews and rats, but I have to say I was never so pleased to see one as I was then, especially now that it had flown away.
After a few moments rest while my heart went back to beating normally I carried on climbing. Nothing else attacked me and eventually, very much out of breath and with sore hands and aching shoulders I reached the branches where the Jackdaws nested.
There were three nests on this branch and four more on another one. I hope Holly was in one of the ones on this branch. Fortunately three were no birds to be seen or heard. I shouted “Holly.” There was no answer. Now Fairies are only small so we do not have loud voices, but we have learned another way of keeping in touch over long distances. We have a very, very loud whistle. The Professor tells me that humans can't hear it, but we can. We have a whistled language, which all Fairies learn at school.
I will translate for you, but please understand this conversation was not in words.
“Princess Holly, please answer if you can. It is me, Willowby.”
“Willowby?”
The whistle was faint and it sounded as if she was holding back tears.
“Yes, are you hurt?”
“Oh, Willowby, it is good to hear you. No, but I am stuck. The Jackdaw has jammed me into the nest and I can't get my feet free.”
She really did sound very close to tears.
“I can't see which nest you are in, but I will find you as soon as I can. Keep whistling. There are no Jackdaws around for the moment.”
Holly whistled again. It was still faint. I stood on the branch, hoping no birds would see me. By sheer bad luck, I had climbed the wrong side of the tree. Holly’s whistle was coming from one of the nests on the other branch.
I knew I didn't have the strength to climb down to where her branch started and back up again. More than ever before, I hated that I couldn't fly. I unrolled all my spider ropes. Tied together they were just long enough to reach the other branch. One end I tied round my waist. The other I fastened round the strongest looking one of my teasel hooks.
I swung the hook round and round my head and let go when I hoped it was pointing towards the other branch. It flew across the gap and landed on the branch. For a second it stayed where it was then it slipped off.I hauled the rope back up and tried again. This time I let go at the wrong time and the hook sailed off into space. Again, I hauled the hook up and coiled the rope.
Holly had stopped whistling by now. I hoped she was still all right.
I knew I only had the strength for one more throw. It had to work. I swung the hook round as hard as I could and let go. It went right over the branch. Gently I hauled on the rope until it was tight, the hook caught on the branch and as hard as I pulled, I couldn't move it.
I took a deep breath and jumped off my branch. Backwards and forwards I swung, hoping that the hook would stay stuck to the tree. At the same time, I started climb. It was hard at first because of the swinging, but when that stopped, it did become a little easier.
My shoulders ached and my hands were now very sore indeed. Sweat trickled down my face and stung my eyes, but I couldn't let go to wipe them. Nor could I whistle to tell Holly that I was coming.
After what seemed like hours, but can only have been a few minutes I reached the branch. Thankfully, I clambered on to it and coiled up my rope. When I got my breath back, I whistled. Holly answered. You can imagine how relieved to I was to hear her.
The sound came from the second nest. Quickly I ran along the branch. The first nest filled the branch, but it was empty. I climbed across and ran along the branch to the next one. The whistle was so loud it almost deafened me. I had found my Holly.
Chapter Six
Holly to the rescue
“H
olly!” I shouted. There was no need to whistle now.
In my excitement, I almost made a fatal error. It was Holly who saved me from being blinded and cast out.
“Willowby,” she shouted. “Stop where you are. You hear me. Stop NOW.”
I did as she ordered and remembered. I sighed with relief.
“I am wearing the Gown of Light you must NOT see me.”
“I have brought you a change of clothing. I have a blindfold. If I put it on and climb in, I can give it to you. Will that be all right, do you think?”
“Yes, but do hurry, the Jackdaws may come back at any time.”
I tied the scarf round my eyes and climbed up onto the edge of the nest. Holly gave me directions and soon I was stood next to her. The temptation to reach out and touch was very strong, but I was not sure if even that was allowed. I took the parcel from my backpack and she took it.
“Can you get changed?” I asked, hoping she could, as I didn't think there was anyway I would be able to help her.
“Just about. My hands are free, only my feet are stuck and when the stupid bird jammed me in here it burst all the buttons off the back. I will have to spend all night mending it if I am to wear it at dawn.” She sniffed.
There came the sounds of material moving and buttons being fastened, then joy of joys the blindfold was removed. My precious Princess was there by my side.
We didn't have time to spend hugging each other. The sword came in very handy for cutting the twigs that held her feet tight. All round her were the jewels and hung on a twig was the King’s crown.
Together we made a hole in the floor of the nest and pushed all the jewels through it so they fell down top the base of the tree. Holly put the crown on so it was not damaged by dropping down to the floor.
“You know”, she remarked. “I do not remember here being this many shiny things in the Jewel room.”
“Perhaps the Jackdaw has stolen them from somewhere else.” I said
She nodded. “That is the last of them anyway. I have wrapped up the Gown so you can't see it. Can you carry it down to the ground, or do I have to drop it?”
“Better not drop it; if the parcel bursts open then someone may see it.”
“True. I can't fly with it. It is far too heavy. I will put it in your backpack to be on the safe side.”
She did so.
“Now,” I said, “We really must be away from here. We have been very lucky so far. You fly home and get your uncle to send help to collect the jewels. I will climb down. They must not come and help in case the Jackdaws see them or if I fall and the sack bursts open.”
“No, I am not going to leave you alone.”
“You must, The Ball must have a Queen and even without this Dress you can do that. Please, I will feel much happier once I know you are safe. Fly very close to the tree and you should be safe. Oh and watch out for the woodpecker.”
Holly sighed and agreed. I watched her fly off, and then as I prepared to climb out of the nest to go along the branch, the Jackdaw returned.
Even now, I can remember it. I was so busy worrying about Holly I didn't hear it arrive so the first thing I saw was a black pointed thing coming out of the sky and a empty hole in the gray sky next to it. I must have backed away from it. I found myself falling. It was so like my nightmares and like when I had them, I began to scream. I know I did, I could hear myself as I fell.
This time I didn't wake up with the Professor and Larkspur standing over me. I carried on falling until I landed on my back on something soft.
Whatever it was went up and down a few times. Then I realised I had landed right in the middle of a spider’s web. I couldn't move. Spider’s webs are sticky. Now I knew I was in real trouble.
I knew that I must not struggle as that is what attracts the Spider to its prey. Gently I reach up to try to free the sword. I couldn't do it.
Then, I heard the sweetest sound in all the world.
“I heard you scream,” said Holly. “So I came back. What do I do? The spider will soon come to see what she has caught. You are lucky she is still building the web.”
“Do not touch the Web for a start or you will get stuck. Can you get the sword out from behind me without touching the web?”
“I think so!”
“Good, but first you go to the edge of the web and shake one of the ropes which goes in to the middle. You do that until you see the spider coming towards you. It won't move fast as it will think you are dangerous. Then come back and see if you can get the sword.”
Holly went to the edge of the web and shook with all her strength. The spider stopped spinning and moved slowly towards her. As quickly as she could, Holly flew over to me. The sword was trapped between the web and me and hard to pull out. She managed to get it loose before the spider reached the place where she had been shaking the ropes.
She flew off and rattled the web from where the spider had come. When the spider turned and began to move in that direction Holly raced back.
This time the sword came free. Carefully she cut some of the strands of the web. It was enough for me to get one hand loose. The problem was that we were now shaking the web and the spider had turned to come into the middle.
Desperately Holly swung the sword over and over again, chopping at the strands which held me, narrowly missing me on a couple of swings. I said nothing. I thought it would be better to be cut than poisoned. We could both hear the spider hissing as it crossed the web. Fortunately, it was moving very slowly as the amount of shaking suggested that it had caught something big.
I stopped Holly from cutting the last strand, as I didn't want to fall from the web to the floor. It was still a long way down. That left me dangling in the middle of the now badly damaged web, but at least my arms were free.
“Give me the sword and fly away. I will be all right. Please.”
Holly handed over the weapon and flew to the edge of the web. I wished she would go home, but I knew that she wouldn't leave me to face the spider alone.
It was now close enough for me to feel its breath on my hair as it examined the hole we had made in its web. I didn't give it chance to discover me. I poked upwards with the sword. It was a good sharp point and it must have stung. It gave an angry hiss and ran to the edge of the web.
I pulled my self up on to the web and stood on one of the threads that had no sticky blobs on it. I cut the last thread which held me. Spiders are very clever they only make part of their webs sticky, so that they can move across it without getting stuck themselves. Using these strands, I quickly ran to where the web was fastened to the Pear Tree.
Unfortunately, the spider had made her home at this point and there she sat, stroking the wound that I had given her. I hoped I could get past her without hurting her again. Fairies do not kill other creatures, unless they really have to, even when that creature is trying to kill a Fairy. They have to eat too.
The spider sat very still staring at me with both her black jeweled eyes. I waved the sword. She backed away. I walked on. She back further away. Then, she leapt. Not as you suppose at me, no, she jumped off the web altogether, spinning a thread as she went. She was getting out of the way of this nasty stinging creature.
Quickly I stepped off the web and on to the tree. Climbing down was much less tiring than climbing up, and perhaps a good job too, I was getting very weary now and my hands and shoulders ached. The backpack with the Gown in it was very heavy. No wonder Holly was unable fly in it.
She was waiting for me at the base of the tree. We covered the jewels with moss in case the Jackdaw came and took them back to its nest.
“We should not stop here for long. That bird may come looking for the jewels.” I said.
Holly agreed. “Hopefully it is busy re-building its nest and won’t come looking for us for a while.”
“Now, will you please go back to the Nest? I know there are lots of things you have to do before the Festival of the Light. Get King Adonis to send people to collect the jewels. I will start walking, carefully. All right?”
This time Holly did as she was asked.
Mahonia, Juniper, Spruce and Rowan met me half way back and carried me home. I was very glad to see them.”
Chapter Seven
An Adoption
P
rofessor Hewletts takes up the story again.
Since there was little we could do to help Holly and Willowby, King Adonis and I spent the time searching for shiny things for the replacement Gown. We had to do this for ourselves, so that no other Fairy could even guess that the Gown was missing. It was not easy. Willowby must have scoured the whole garden in his search for things.
Larkspur could not use the things from the Gown that she wore last year. King Adonis explained. “The Gown is brought out from its hiding place at Midwinter and buried at the spot where the sun sets on the shortest day. We have to do that to remind the sun to come back again,” finished the King.
It took us all afternoon to find enough to satisfy Larkspur. It kept us busy, but it didn't stop me from worrying about Willowby. I had grown very fond of him over the last eleven months or so. I was very, very relieved when Holly flew home.
“Willowby is safe and on his way back,” she told us. “Please can you send help to bring him home and to collect up the jewels? The Gown is safely wrapped up in his back pack, so no one will see it.”
Larkspur had to ask. “Did he see it?”
“No, we were very careful. The blindfold was a great idea.” Holly embraced Larkspur. “Thank-you.”
“Is the Gown damaged?” She wanted to know.
“Not much, the buttons have come off, but we can mend them in next to no time.”
“Good, now if you are up to it we really must start getting ready for the Festival. Can you manage?”
“I would rather wait for Willowby, but yes I know I have to do this. All I need is some Elf Gift and a quick nap and I will be ready for anything,” sighed Holly.
The two ladies left the Throne room.
Soon after that, Mahonia and Juniper brought the exhausted looking Willowby into the throne room. They bowed to the King and left him there. Quickly King Adonis helped the lad to sit on the throne.
“I have delivered the Gown to the ladies,” Willowby said. “And then they chased us away.”
“Did the guards have any idea what was going on.” King Adonis worried.
Willowby shook his head. “I do not think so. I said nothing and just pushed my backpack into the room. If they think anything it will be that I had brought more shiny things for Holly.”
“Good. Now I think you need some looking after or you won't be fit enough for the ceremony at dawn.”
“Something to eat and a drink of Elf Gift will do me the world of good, but first I have some news for you both,” said Willowby.
I warned him, “Be quick or you will be asleep where you sit.”
“I remember what happened to my Nest,” the lad said quietly. “I remember everything, even my name. You got it right, you know, Willow was my given name.”
I started to speak, but he held up a hand. “Please, let me get it all out in one go. It is very painful for me.”
I nodded.
“It was the Jackdaw which destroyed the Willow Nest. I think it was probably looking for nesting stuff. Certainly, there were twigs from the Nest roof in its nest. When it saw the shiny things it carried on pulling our home to pieces. Then it must have realised there were things to eat and so it killed everyone. I remember seeing its beak coming down towards me and one eye staring at me. Then the floor must have given way and I fell to the ground and was covered in twigs. That is where you found me.”
King Adonis asked, “But why did no one see the bird coming and give warning?”
“As you know it was the day after the Festival of the Light. Everyone was exhausted. Those who had been here for the Ceremony and the Ball had been up all night. Me and the other stop at homes had held our own party that had gone on until dawn. Everyone in the Nest was fast asleep.”
A single tear trickled down the poor lad’s face. Irritably he brushed it away.
I asked gently, “Why did you stop at home?”
“I had no wings so I was still a baby and babies do not go to the Ceremony.”
King Adonis gasped and put his face in his hands. Then he gave a groan.
“What is it Sire?” asked the lad and myself together.
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear,” sighed the King. “I had forgotten about that. Male fairies do not become adults until they get their wings. Until then they are classed as ‘babies’ even if they are as old as fifteen. And as Willowby has said, ‘babies’ are not allowed to go to the Ceremony nor to the Ball afterwards.
I was puzzled. “So, Willowby misses them. Does it matter?”
“Very much so,” went on the stricken King. “If he is not at the Ball then Holly can't choose him as her life partner. Indeed, she can't choose him at all, until he is an adult.”
“Oh no.” I turned to Willowby.
He looked terrible and burst into tears.
I drew a deep breath. “There has to be something we can do. Let me think.”
I walked up and down the room with my hands behind my back in my favourite thinking position.
A thought struck. “Forgive me, sire, but I have a few questions to ask.”
King Adonis looked up from trying to comfort the distressed lad and nodded.
“Am I allowed to go to the Ceremony and Ball.? After all I have no wings.”
“You are not a fairy and as the first non-fairy to live here I do not think any of the rules apply to you. In fact, I am positive the rules don't. Why?”
“Let me work this out. I can go to the Festival and Ball even though I have no wings, just because I am human? I must be clear on that point.”
“Yes, definitely!”
“Good, then the next question is. What happens to orphan babies usually?”
“They are adopted by childless couples and brought up as their own.”
“Excellent!”
“I fail to see how that helps.” The King was puzzled.
“So who decides who is going to adopt the orphan then?”
“Well, I suppose I do,” replied the King
“Even better. Then as a baby Willowby here needs to be adopted by some kind person.”
King Adonis smiled. “I think I see where you are going, but go on.”
“Well, I would take it as a great honour if I was allowed to adopt Willowby as my son.”
“Since the lad can speak for himself he has to be asked, that is the Law.” The King had a big smile on his face now.
He turned to Willowby who was still sat weeping quietly. “Willowby, you have only to say ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to these questions. Do you understand?”
Willowby sniffed. “Yes.”
“Do you agree that you are an orphan and in need of adoption?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“Have you any other childless relatives who would adopt you?”
“No,” Willowby gave a sob.
“Would you accept Professor Shovelock Ellis Hewletts as your new parent?”
“Yes, of course, but….”
“Shhhh!” King Adonis put his finger to his lips.
“I agree to this adoption. Willow of Willow Nest, you are now officially the son and heir to the Professor. I declare your name to be Willowby Hewletts of Honeysuckle Nest.”
“I am honoured,” said Willowby, “But how does it help?”
I turned to the King “If Willowby is now my son and I am human then that makes him human too, I think.”
“I wouldn't argue with that and I doubt if anyone else will either.”
“Then as a HUMAN, Willowby can go to the Ceremony.”
“Exactly”
I turned to Willowby, “Cinders, you SHALL go to the Ball.”
Both of them looked puzzled. “Never mind, I will explain another time. Now let’s feed the lad and give him something to drink and then he can sleep until it is time to get ready.” I half dragged and half carried the exhausted lad to our rooms and tucked him up in bed. He awoke a few hours later and had something to eat. I rubbed some Elf Gift into his sore hands and on his shoulders. Then he turned over and went straight back to sleep.
Chapter Eight
The Festival of the Light
I
woke him up about an hour before dawn so we could get ready. He dressed, stuffed some breakfast in and dashed off to set up the ropes and harness for Princess Holly’s grand entrance. He said he felt good except for a bit of soreness on his shoulders. I rubbed some more Elf Gift in to them.
It was one of those perfect mornings. You could see from the sky that the day was going to be cloudless. Now, just before dawn, there were just a few wispy clouds high in the atmosphere. It was already light enough to see what was happening. The large hall was packed with Fairies. They had been arriving all the previous day and now they were standing in silence awaiting the dawn.
The big doors at the end of the room were wide open. As the first rays of the rising sun lit up the floor just inside, Princess Holly, The Queen of Light began her descent. The Gown was magnificent. She looked beautiful. As she began to descend, every body in the room stopped talking and kept perfectly still. If there was ever an occasion when one could hear a pin drop, this was it.
The descent was perfectly timed. As the Queen reached the floor, the suns rays reached the exact centre of the door. The light hit the Gown and Princess Holly disappeared into a ball of light.
There was a moments more silence, then from the centre of the ball of light Princess Holly’s clear voice could be heard to say “Dawn has broken. I declare the Festival of the Light open.” For another second the silence continued, then the gathered people began to clap and cheer.
I won't even begin to try to tell you of the hugging, back slapping, crying, laughing which went on, as friends and relatives wished each and everyone else a happy Festival day.
Once the sun had risen over the top of the door, the Queen of Light left the room to change. Willowby came down from the roof where he had been removing the evidence of how Holly had managed to get down in such a costume.
“What happens to the Gown now?” I asked.
“Oh, it is hidden by the ladies somewhere safe and secret, until it is brought out again on Mid-Winters day. Even the Jackdaws will never be able to find it. Now, Father, let us enjoy the day. Holly will have to speak to everyone here, but she did promise to find time to be with us if she could. And, if not then we can always see her at the Ball.”
If you can imagine the best party you have ever been too combined with the best food you have ever eaten, with the people you most wish to spend time with, then that would be a poor second to the Festival of the Light. Just when you would think it could have got no better, it was time for the Ball.
If I could tell you what the Fairies wore I would, but my pen fails me. Even the plainest of them was more beautiful than you can believe, but Princess Holly was the most beautiful of all, or so Willowby told me. Personally I thought that Larkspur was just a touch better, but I didn't say so.
The only thing to spoil it for me was the way that he kept wriggling his shoulders as if he was in great pain. There was nothing I could do to help him. Every time I tried, he was whisked away by one of the Fairy maids to dance.
I did manage to beg one dance with Princess Holly, but only for a few steps before Willowby came and took her away from me.
“Sorry, Father, but this is the first chance I have had to speak to Holly all day.”
“Father?” I heard her say as he whisked her away.
The dancing went on until midnight when King Adonis, looking every inch a king, stood on the stage at the end of the Ball Room. The musicians stopped playing. He raised his arms. Without him having to say a word, everyone fell silent.
“Friends, it is the end of Festival of Light. The best I think we have ever had. Now it is time for the last dance of the night. Traditionally this is the Choosing Dance. Please will those Fairy maids who are here to select their Life Partner please go to the centre of the room.”
About a hundred Fairy women, led by Princess Holly went to centre of the room as requested. I was rather surprised to see Larkspur amongst them She had not danced with anyone person in particular.
One by one each Fairy Maid called out a name and to gentle clapping the Fairy boy crossed the room and stood with his love, until there were just two females left, Holly and Larkspur.
Larkspur spoke.
“Professor Shovelock Ellis Hewletts of Honeysuckle Nest I name you as my Life Partner,” she said.
You could have knocked me down with one of the Jackdaw’s feathers. Of all the things that had happened over the last few days, this was to me the most utterly astonishing.
The clapping grew to an ovation. My feet obeyed the summons and I found myself stood facing Larkspur in the centre of the room.
The other couples were too interested in each other to take much notice of us.
“You do not have to accept, you know,” whispered Larkspur shyly.
I couldn't turn her down. I took her hand as I had seen the others do. “I accept the honour you do me.”
To this day I do not know what it was. All I can do is describe it as an invisible rope that bound us together and I knew that we would stay together until one of us died.
That left just Holly. As Queen of Light it was her privilege to be the last to choose.
In a steady voice she said. “Willowby Hewletts of Honeysuckle Nest, I name you as my Life Partner.”
The clapping stopped and everyone turned to look at the poor crippled boy who had been called. For a whole minute Willowby did not move. I thought that he was going to turn and run, for his face went white. He shut his eyes and gave a sudden gasp. Then joy of joys, he rose into the air and FLEW to land before Holly.
Well, the cheering went on for ages, before the musicians could make themselves heard and the last Dance began. I think that only Larkspur and I kept out feet on the ground.
When the Ball was over, me, Larkspur, King Adonis, Holly and Willowby stood on the Roof Terrace watching the dancing lights of the leaving crowds.
“That must be the shortest adoption on record,” laughed King Adonis.
“I am sorry, Father,” said Willowby, “But I didn't know that was going to happen. I thought the pain was because of the climbing.”
“Ah, well”, said I. “All’s well that ends well.”
P.S. From Colin Ellis Hewletts. Warden of the Hewlett Garden Trust.
This document was found on a slide in the microscope in my office one morning at the end of August, fourteen months after my Uncle, Professor Hewletts disappeared.. I have no idea how it got there.
I had taken my daughter, Holly, to look at a butterfly wing which had been placed on the slide the previous evening. She was so taken with the idea that there was a Fairy Princess sharing her name, that she insisted on having the story written out for her.
It has taken me a little while to copy it all down and edit it into a, I hope, readable story. The Professor as a notable scientist added a large number of footnotes and explanations of Fairy beliefs and practices that did not add anything to the tale. I would like to think he would not mind. I will make them into a separate book.
If you visit the garden and you can persuade me that you really DO believe in Fairies then I may be persuaded to show you the original. It is kept in the safe.
The microscope is left with a slide in it in case the Professor decides to tell us some more stories of Fairy life.
Seven Came to Dinner
Chapter 1
E
ddo was an honest man, though that really does not describe him properly at all. Eddo was a very honest man. Even that does not really describe him. Eddo could no more be dishonest or cheat than he could give up breathing. Strangely enough there are very few completely honest people in the world and many of them are shunned by family and neighbours for being that way. Eddo had something else, he could be totally honest without upsetting other people.
When his family realised this, they used to bring their disagreements and problems to him, knowing that he would sort things out fairly and honestly and gently but firmly. When his neighbours heard this they began to bring their disputes to be solved. Eddo found out the truth and gave his decisions. His fame spread across the country and soon anyone with a problem that needed an honest decision came to Eddo. Even the king asked for his advice. He became so well known that there was even a saying about him. Whenever there was a problem, people would say "Oh, use your Eddo."
Very often, all people had to do was to threaten to take a problem to him for the person in the wrong to admit it .
Some people did try to persuade Eddo to make decisions in their favour by promising him huge rewards or favours, but Eddo could not be bought. The ruler of the country in which he lived recognised the value of having such an honest man, so he gave Eddo a nice house and paid him a good wage. Eddo accepted, on condition that it did mean he would decide in the king’s favour if the king was in the wrong. The King laughed and said "Whilst as king, I am never wrong, it is right and proper to have at least one honest person in the Kingdom." Eddo had bowed and accepted the King’s gift. Life was very pleasant and he and his wife settled down to raise a family.
One night Eddo was working very late on a particularly difficult problem, trying to find out the truth of an argument between two farmers as to who owned some puppies. His wife and the servants had all gone to bed, so, when there was a knock on the door, Eddo answered it himself. He was not surprised to be disturbed late like this, his fame was so great that even the local outlaws and robbers used his services. At the door was a cloaked figure with a large hat pulled down over its face.
"Can I help you?" asked Eddo
The figure did not speak, but pushed its way past Eddo and into the room where Eddo had been working. Eddo sighed and closed the door and followed the figure into the room. Just in case it was dangerous, Eddo sat behind his desk. The figure sat in the shadows at the other side of the room.
"You are Eddo?" The figure spoke in a deep voice with a peculiar accent that Eddo could not place,
"Yes, how can I be of service?"
"I am sent to you to by a group of people who need your help. They need a decision making that they cannot make themselves. It must be an honest decision." The way the figure spoke was very odd, almost like growling.
"I will try to help, if you can explain what is the problem," said Eddo.
The figure shook its head. "They must explain it to you themselves. I cannot. I am only a messenger. In three nights time you must send all your family and servants away. You must be in this house on your own. If there is anyone else here then these people will not come in and all of the world will suffer. This is important!"
Eddo nodded. It was a strange request, but there were people around who did not want to be seen together.
The figure carried on. "You will come to no harm. These people have taken an oath that they cannot break."
"That is good to know," smiled Eddo.
"You will serve Dinner for yourself and the seven people, but not one of them is to help in the food preparation. They trust you, but not each other. This is a purse of gold to pay for the food." The figure reached under its cloak and took out a purse.
"That is not needed, "said Eddo.
"You must take it," insisted the figure. "These people do not wish to owe you anything."
"Fair enough," replied Eddo, "But it will not make any difference to what I decide. I do insist though that your friends promise to abide by whatever decision I come to."
"They are no friends to me," growled the figure. "They have already agreed that they will accept your decision. May I tell them to come then?”
"Yes!" Eddo nodded. "I will have Dinner for eight ready at 7 o’ clock, three nights hence. I promise that no-one but my wife and servants will touch the food. They do not need to fear poisoning."
"No poison can harm these people, what they fear are magic potions."
"Then no magic potions will be added to the food," promised Eddo.
"Thank-you. Now I must go." The figure stood.
Eddo lead the way to the front door. The figure seemed less tall now than when it had first come in and less upright. When Eddo opened the door, the figure almost knocked him over in its haste to get out. As it fled into the night, Eddo heard a faint growl. "Rrrrrememberrrr!" then it was gone. Eddo was almost certain that it got down on four legs to run away.
Chapter Two
O
n the night of the Dinner party Eddo’s wife and servants prepared the food and then left the house as requested. Mrs. Eddo was not too happy about leaving him alone with seven strangers, but Eddo kissed her and promised that he would be very careful. "After all," he smiled. "Who could possibly do anyone any harm after eating one of your delicious meals?" Mrs. Eddo had to be satisfied with that.
No sooner were they out of sight, when there was a knock at the Door. Eddo opened it.
"Not too early am I?" The visitor was female and dressed all in black.
"No, no, please do come in," said Eddo.
"The others are not here yet I see. I am always early. What a lovely room," she said as Eddo showed her into the Dining room.
"Oh, I suppose I had better introduce myself, Calizone," went on the woman. "Is there anything I can help with?"
"No thank- you," replied Eddo. "I was told that none of you were to have anything to do with getting the food ready."
"Very true, we do not want any nasty accidents with poison now do we?" As she spoke Calizone went round the table nervously, it seemed to Eddo, rearranging the cutlery. "There," she said. "That's better. The others will be here soon. I am sure I saw them in the sky as I came in."
Before Eddo could ask her what she meant by ‘in the sky’, there was a loud knock on the door. Eddo went to answer. There were three women there, dressed all in black like Calizone. They nodded to Eddo and allowed themselves to be led into the Dining room.
"She been here long?" one of them asked suspiciously.
"Only a minute or two," laughed Calizone, before Eddo could answer. "Only had time to tell him my name. Shall I introduce you?"
"We’ll do it ourselves,” sniffed the one who had spoken. She turned to Eddo. “I am Anigore."
Eddo bowed.
"And I am Magrib," said the second.
Eddo bowed.
"My name is Sharon," said the third very fiercely.
Eddo bowed and kept a straight face.
The three newcomers went and sat down. Eddo did not have time to say anything when there was a thunderous knocking on the door.
"That will be the others," remarked Sharon. "They were just behind us."
Sure enough when Eddo open the door there were three more black clad women on the door step. They came in.
"Jecks," said the first as she went into the Dining room.
Eddo bowed.
"Athaga," said the second.
Eddo bowed.
"Tracy," snarled the final woman.
Eddo bowed.
"Shall we dine and then get down to business," he said. "The food is good and hot and it would be a shame to let it spoil."
They sat down and Eddo poured each a glass of wine. The meal began. Eddo found it rather odd. The women looked suspiciously at every dish and did not begin to eat until Eddo himself had tasted his. He wondered why they were so terrified of being poisoned.
Once the meal was over, Eddo had cleared the dishes and sat down at the table again. "Well, now ladies, shall we begin?"
There was a few minutes silence as the women sat and looked at each other waiting for one of the others to begin.
"This is silly," said Calizone. "We could sit here all night waiting for each other. As the youngest, I will explain, OK?"
The other six nodded.
"What you see before you, Eddo, are seven witches.”
Eddo suddenly felt very nervous. It must have shown in his face, as Calizone laughed and said, "Do not be alarmed, we have sworn on Cauldron and Broom that no harm will come to you or yours for what happens here tonight. And believe me, the breaking of that oath is impossible for a witch to do."
Eddo smiled in gratitude and relief.
Calizone carried on. "As you probably know, at present there is no Witch of the Dark Forest."
"I had heard. Something to do with a cat and a spell going wrong I believe," Eddo nodded.
"Something like that. Now, each of us here would very much like to be the next Witch of the Dark Forest and to put it simply, we would like you to decide which one of us it should be," Calizone finished.
The others nodded.
Eddo did not know what to say for a moment. "Let me get this straight, you want me to choose the next Witch?
All seven witches nodded.
"But why does there have to be a Witch?" Eddo wanted to know.
This time, it was Athaga who answered. "There has to be a Witch. Have you not noticed that children are getting more and more badly behaved? Parents cannot say ‘Behave yourselves or the Wicked Witch will get you’ when there is no Witch."
Sharon added, "And have you not noticed that the story tellers have stopped making up new stories? That always happens when there is no Witch in the Forest.
Tracy piped up. "And how do people know how good someone is without someone bad to compare them too?"
Calizone grinned, "Besides, which is worse, seven witches all trying to beat the others at being bad, or one witch on her own?"
"We have given our promise that the ones not chosen will leave the Seven kingdoms forever," sniffed Magrib.
Eddo could see that one Witch would be slightly less of a problem than seven.
"You MUST choose one of us and you must choose the one who is the most wicked of us, too!" said Jecks.
That really made Eddo sit up. "The most wicked one? But what is to stop me choosing the least wicked?"
"Nothing at all, except that we have asked you to choose the most evil and if you are as honest as they say you are, then that is what you must do. Anything else would be dishonest." Magrib spoke this time.
Eddo had to admit they were right. It was an awful thing, but if he was to stay honest he had to do what he was asked to do. "But how am I to know which witch is the most evil?"
Calizone answered, "We will tell you the worst thing we have ever done and leave you to decide. Magrib as the eldest will go first, then down the ages until it is my turn as the youngest. Agreed sisters?"
The other six nodded.
Eddo had little choice but to agree. He sat back in his chair and prepared to listen to seven tales of evil.
Calizone leant over and whispered. "Do not worry we are not that evil............yet."
Chapter Three
M
agrib coughed nervously and sniffed before beginning. "The village where I used to live is up in the hills above the River. The people up there are much the same as people anywhere, greedy, not very bright and very, very dull. They are pig farmers, by the way. The only time they do anything other than exist is once a year, when they have what they call Hog Day. That is when they slaughter all the pigs, except for one boar and the breeding sows. When they have finished they have a grand feast where they gorge themselves stupid on pork and drink as much cider as they can hold. The worst part of it is, they never invite me. So, last year, I went anyway. Not one piece of meat was I offered and not one drink of cider. So, I turned the lot of them into the pigs they behaved like and left. As far as I know, they are still up there grubbing around in the dirt, eating everything in sight, to get fatter and fatter. Pigs they are and pigs they can stay until the spell is broken. Or, until next Hog Day when the next village along is planning to go and turn all the pigs they can find into ham and sausages." She sniffed and sat down.
Eddo shuddered.
Jecks was next. "If you journey to the north of here you come to the Ice fields. It can be very cold there, but I like it. There is a tribe of people who live up there. They keep out of my way and I usually keep out of theirs. However, one day, this spring, they had the cheek to drive their herd of reindeer through my ice garden. The whole thing was ruined. Worst of all the stupid animals trampled through my cottage and put out my fire. Now as you might realise, the only reason anyone can live up there is because of fire. I was furious, but they just laughed. So I cast a spell, which put out all their fires too and stops any fire they ever start from burning. They have been living on cold food ever since. Cold they are and cold they can stay, until the spell is broken. Or, until winter starts in a few weeks time and they freeze to death."
Eddo shivered.
Athaga took Jecks’ place. "I live to the South, where the green lands of the Seven kingdoms give way to sand. It is nice and warm, though some find it too hot. The people who live there know their way around and where to find water and where there is water there are things to eat. Usually, they stay away from me and I stay away from them. I spend a lot of my time doing the most wonderful sand sculptures. This last autumn, they decided to hold their annual camel races right across one of my latest works. And they laughed when I protested. So, since the Sand is hot, I made it even hotter for them. Everywhere they go now, the water dries up. They have been trying to cool off ever since. Thirsty they are and thirsty they will stay, until the spell is broken. Or until summer comes and the Sand country is too hot for people, then they will melt."
Eddo gasped.
Anigore was next. "I live up on the Moors. On a clear day you can see right to the edge of the Seven kingdoms. I love the open spaces where my sheep can wander as far as they please. The people down in the valleys are farmers. They usually do not bother me and I do not bother them, often. Last spring one village decided that they need more land, so they came up on to my moors and began to build walls and clear the bracken and gorse. Then they ploughed the moors. They laughed when I protested that their walls stopped my sheep from finding food. So since farmers need water to grow their crops, I gave them water. It has not stopped raining on them since then. Wet they are and wet they will stay until the spell is broken. Or, until the winter when the rain turns to snow and they find themselves buried in deep cold drifts."
Eddo went cold.
Sharon rose from her seat. "I live in the Mountains, The air is so clean and fresh and good you can almost live on it. The lower slopes are covered in beautiful pine forests but my place is the highest peak. The folks who live on the Mountains are mostly woodsmen. They cut down trees for the people in the Valleys. One day last summer, they discovered that they could make more money by turning the trees into charcoal. So, my beautiful clean air was turned into smoke as they cut down the trees and burned them. They would not listen to me, so, as they seem so fond of fires, I made it so that every thing they touch burns to a cinder. Fires they started and fires they will get until the spell is broken. Or until winter comes and the fires they start will melt the snow and they will be buried under avalanches."
Eddo choked.
Tracy began her story. "My home is in the town, just a short distance away from here. I had a shop selling spells and potions. To buy the shop I had to borrow the money from the rich men of the town. The silly people of the town did not buy my spells, so the rich men took my shop away from me. They boasted that everything they touched turned to gold. I put a spell on them, but since they love gold so much, my spell was different. Now everything they touch turns to stone even their precious gold. Stony hearted they are and stone things will stay until the spell is broken. Or, until Counting Day, when they have to personally give the king his due. If they cannot pay they have their hands chopped off!"
Eddo swallowed nervously.
Finally, it was the turn of Calizone to leave her chair and step forward. She smiled at Eddo and then at the other Witches, "You know, there is no possible way in which I can compete with my sisters. I am too young to have done anything as bad as these have done, so I did this instead." She snapped her fingers. There was a flash of bright blue light that made Eddo sit back and blink. When his eyes cleared he could no longer see all the witches, only Calizone still stood in front of him.
He jumped to his feet. "What have you done?"
"Relax, you are safe. Remember the promise I made. No harm can come to you or yours." Calizone was busy now going from chair to chair. She had a large black bag. She picked something up from each chair where the other six witches had been sitting and dropped it gently into the bag. When she had finished she came to stand in front of Eddo. "There you are!" She opened the bag and Eddo looked in. Looking back out at him were six large and very ugly toads.
Calizone then carefully close the bag and put it on the floor next to her chair. She sat down and smiled at Eddo. "Now I really think that you do not need to decide who is to be Witch of the Dark Forest, do you? After all, there is only me left, now. A toad cannot expect to become such an important figure, now can it?"
"That is wicked," said Eddo. "You promised that no harm would come to them either."
"True, and no harm has come to them. They have not been hurt, just altered." Calizone sounded very pleased with herself.
"I thought that Spells would not work on Witches," Eddo was still rather shocked at what had happened.
"True, they cannot, but they can be harmed by a Magic potion, if one can get them to swallow it."
Eddo shook his head. "But you did not touch the food so how did you get them to swallow anything?"
Calizone laughed. "I did not need to, but I did touch the cutlery. The potion was on the soup spoons."
"If you knew you were going do this, then why did I have to sit through all those awful stories of wickedness? You could have spared me that."
"Not easily, the potion had to have time to work. If I had made it stronger they would have been able to taste it. I was just beginning to wonder if it was going to work myself."
Eddo shook his head, he still was rather confused. "I still do not understand how you can change the others into toads, without breaking your promise."
Calizone sighed. "It is easy really. You know that when a witch’s spell is undone, it hurts her rather a lot?"
Eddo nodded.
"Well, if you are as honest a man as everyone says you are, then you are going to rush off and try and undo all those spells."
Eddo nodded.
"I thought you might, so I am saving them from being hurt. A toad does not feel anywhere near as much pain as a human being." Calizone rubbed her hands together. "And in any case they will not stay toads forever. If anything should happen to me or when I die, they will all turn back into themselves again. Mark, I do not intend to let anything happen to me and I am going to try to live for a very, very long time." She stood up and picked up the bag of toads. "And now you really must forgive me, but I have a Cottage to see to."
Eddo still had a few questions to ask. "But how do I undo those awful spells?"
Eddo looked doubtful.
Calizone added. "Remember that there is always a clue somewhere to help you. And thank-you for the delicious Dinner."
Eddo looked doubtful.
Calizone stopped at the door. "I am sure if you think hard enough about it you will find a way to cancel them out."
Then she was gone.
Chapter Four
N
ext morning Eddo sat in his study trying to think through what the witches had said, that might help him undo the spells. He had to find a solution quickly, Counting Day was very close. He sat and scratched his head, he could not think of anything.
His wife brought him his morning coffee. "You look very worried," she said.
He explained the problem to her.
"When I am stuck for something to make for Dinner, I write down all the things I have in the cupboard and see if anything suggests itself," she said.
Eddo thought that was a very good idea. He wrote down the spells, as the witches had told them to him.
pigs eating everything,no fireno watertoo much watertoo much fireturn everything to stone.
No matter how often he read it, nothing occurred. He sat flapping the piece of paper in front of his eyes to cool his brain. As he did, the words ‘no water...too much water were the only ones he could read. As he read them Calizone’s last words flashed into his mind, ‘Cancel them out’."Of course, that’s it." He rearranged the spells and came up with this list
no fire-too much fireno water-too much waterpigs eating everything-everything turned to stone
The last one worried him. He could not see how one could cancel out the other, but as he had very little time left he had to take the risk.He went into the nearby town and called the business men to a meeting. Since it was Eddo who had sent for them and as they were desperate, they all turned up. They looked very sorry for themselves. All of them were wearing thick leather gloves. As one explained, this was the only way they could avoid touching things.
Eddo explained his idea. He finished with. "Since it would be impossible to bring the pigs here, you must go to their village."
The business men were very doubtful and on the point of turning Eddo down, until he remarked. "Of course you could stay here until Counting Day. I believe the punishment for not personally handing over your taxes to the King is having ones hands cut off, is it not? And I am sure he will not want a lot of stones."
After that there was little else they could do. They ordered their coaches to be got ready and set off for the hills. Since the poor men could not touch food without it turning to stone, they had to bring their servants along with them. Since they were not sure it was going to work, the business men’s wives came along too. Since their mothers were going off on an exciting trip, their children insisted on coming too. If it had not been for the witches spell, it could have been quite an enjoyable day out.
When they reached the village, Eddo organised the servants, women and children into parties and all the pigs were herded into the centre of the village. The pigs were extremely fat and they had eaten almost every thing that could be eaten.
"Now," ordered Eddo. "Business men, remove your gloves and start turning everything to stone, except the pigs of course."
The business men started. They found it easier to crawl along on their hands and knees, than to bend down and touch things. Their children found it hysterically funny to see their fathers crawling along nose to nose with a herd of extremely fat pigs. However, very soon there was almost nothing left for the pigs except stone. The richest business man turned the last piece of mud to rock. For a minute nothing happened, then there was a flash of flight and the pigs disappeared. In their place was a crowd of rather shamefaced people. Eddo handed one of the businessmen a handkerchief. Gingerly he took it. It stayed cloth. He wiped his face.
Far away in the Dark Forest, Calizone smiled as she heard two toads squeal in pain. She took the two out of their cage and gently patted each on the head. A tiny spark seemed to pass from them to her. Then she gently put them outside the door.
Eddo was very relieved. He left the celebrating businessmen and villagers and headed off to find the villagers who were suffering from non-stop rain. It was not hard, he could see the cloud from a distance. He entered the village and was immediately soaked to the skin. The Villagers came rushing up and handed him an umbrella. They had heard of hi
